The BIG one.

Well, folks! I've hit my 100th post! This is it! I started this venture a little bit over a year ago and said "I'll try it for a year, if I don't enjoy doing it, I'll stop". I'm still going. Not because anybody likes it......I think the jury is still out on that matter. I am going to keep going because it feels like a purpose. One day, long in the future, when I can't remember a thing....I can look this up and say "Oh! I made that and it was cool!".....or "Oh! I do know how to cook".....Or "Wow! Did I really get on the roof with an airsoft gun to hunt down a rogue squirrel?"....."Did I really read 100 books in less than 2 years?".....Why yes I did!

100 posts about absolutely everything I can squeeze out of me....well, maybe not everything because this is somewhat censored! I cook, I craft and I parent with pure passion and slight touch of  motivation. And I do it because it makes ME happy. 
I want to thank every single one of you who have put up with me, followed me, took the time to read what I put out there and laughed with me. You were with me when I faced my fear of teenage girls and became a mentor to them. I am in love with these girls by the way. In the time that I have been doing my craft class with them, one of my lovely young ladies has found a forever home with a wonderful family. Another has moved on to college to become something great. I've learned so much from them. The thing I bring away from them is tolerance. I try to practice it each day...somedays it's a struggle.

I hope you stick around to see what I can get up to next. We read together, craft together and lately we cook together. In the future we'll review a movie or two together! I personally cannot wait to see "One for the Money" and "The Hunger Games". So, here's to the next 100 posts! Feel free to leave a line or two. Say hello! I do like to hear from you! Thanks again for your support! :)

TMI

I was recently in a conversation with an old friend who I keep up with on facebook. He caught me online yesterday and pulled me into chat. He asked what I've been up to. But before I could answer he said "Nevermind! All I need to do is look at your wall here on fb and see what you do every hour of the day!". Then he proceeded to give me sh!t about it.

First of all, I don't post every single hour of the day! And second, I do believe people care what I do. Otherwise I wouldn't have so many people reading my blog (granted I am my only follower......but people read it!). And let me tell you, if I don't post to my blog, I hear from people. If you don't want to see what I'm doing each day, there's a simple solution. You don't have to be my friend or you don't have to read it.

I post things about my children...... a lot! They are my life. I post about my craft class but not very often or in detail.  I post about things that irritate me. Because being easily irritated is one of my many traits. I post about music I like, movies I want to see, things that make me laugh, people who inspire me and occasionally I will share a recipe. These are things you share with your friends. I don't post anything I wouldn't say to a friend. I post often because I am a social person taking advantage of a social NETWORK. I don't have a job outside of the home that gives me social time. My outside social time consists of interacting with the cashier at the grocery store or the teenage girls I mentor at my craft class! I spend the majority of my time at home, alone, with a toddler. Please excuse me if I reach out to my friends on facebook to share a random thought. But, Thank you to those of you who do understand that I am a little nutty at times and do share a bit more often than most folks. I do appreciate all of you. You've helped me through some very hard times in my life.

An emotional week

I'm not sure if there are many women who would say that they haven't had an emotional week at one point in time. Maybe you wake up one day in a good mood but on the way to work a song on the radio sparks an old feeling and sets you in a downward spiral into the abyss of depression. No matter what you do, you just cannot shake the feeling. A commercial on TV or a movie playing on the TLC. Whatever it is, you get sucked in by it. You can tell yourself that you have no reason at all to be in this mood but it won't work. For some reason you are destined to break down and cry at least once a day. Count your blessings and you still can't look past whatever it is that haunts you!

Been there. Done that. I usually call my Mom or my best friend, whom I affectionately refer to as stripper. At least one of them has the right words. But sometimes, they have more reasons to be melancholy than I do. So I just call to hear their reasons. This week when I found myself crying over a diaper commercial I called Stripper.

Stripper has a lot on her plate right now. She has spent the last year reconnecting with her father who is battling cancer. She has a boat load of kids, most of them her own and a busy husband. I figured I would call and let her side track me from my silliness. But, she has that way of knowing when I've misplaced my muchness and she calls me out. I explain my problem to her and she says.......

"Throw it in the trash!"

Me: Ummmm? huh?

Her: (very matter of factly she says) Write your problem or complaint on a piece of paper and toss it in the trash.

Me: I don't think that will make me feel better.

Her: Ok! Then put the toddler in the car, drive to McDonalds, order a cone and when you give the lady your money, slip your piece of paper in with your money and drive away!

Me: [imagining the look on the cashiers face, Stripper in her giant SUV with 8 kids.......] Have you tried this before?

Her: No! I flush mine down the toilet!

Me: Won't that clog your toilet eventually?

Her: Hasn't so far! I look at it this way. There's always someone out there who has it way worse and just as soon as you stop believing that, you'll find it out the hard way. Don't waste your time on the things that don't matter. Stop reading from that chapter. It already happened. It's time for the next book already! And if Frank ever mentions that the toilet is acting up, you don't know squat!

Me: That's for sure!

The moral of the story is......if you happen to work at my local McDonalds and one day you get a piece of paper that says "My toilet is clogged up and I don't have 2 pennies to rub together!", well, sorry! I had to do something. And like Stripper says "focus on the things that matter!" If you keep focusing on the things that cause the grief you need a swift kick. Everybody line up behind me! I'm first in line!

The Zombie Plan

I don't know about you but I like to use the time I spend with family at the holidays productively! Cut the chit chat and get right on down to business! I know your job sucks! I know your kids are over achievers and haven't missed a day of school in EVER! Your wife birthed all of your children naturally unless you count the un-natural screaming coming from her contorted body! Sorry about calling the exorcist! I really thought I was helping! And yes, you have already told me that you went coyote hunting with Dick Cheney and lived to tell about it! Congrats! Now let's talk about something important!

YOUR ZOMBIE PLAN!!!

I am totally kidding!

You don't have a zombie plan? What? That is crazy talk! You really should be prepared! I have secretly been training my boys to fight zombies! They think it's just a cool video game but honestly it's just a top secret training device! I am certain that when zombies do attack and our Twinkie supplies are completely depleted, we will be forced to use our noggins to fight them off and my boys will lead the fight with stealth, intelligence and lots of ammo.....right after we hit up the gun store! I've began stock piling supplies! I have 4 jars of pickles, a can of instant coffee, a package of D batteries, flash lights, glow sticks, coloring books, crayons, all seasons of Sons of Anarchy, band aids, bug spray and 400 gallon jugs for water hidden in the shed. I still have to put water in the jugs but since we pay for our water I'm having a hard time with that! I will keep working on it. 

Ohhhhhhh! Seriously! I'm kidding! I was just getting tired of cousin Tom. Yak! Yak! Do you ever find yourself in the position where you're facing off with that family member that has to go on and on about how great his or her life is, or how great their spouse or kids are? Do you ever just want to say "Oh! Yeah!? Well, I saved $345 on my car insurance?" Really, we don't get together at the holidays to hear cousin TOM verbally pat himself on the back for being a douche bag! We get together to give thanks for our many blessings! Let us be humble this holiday season and give thanks that cousin TOM might be humble too! 

Success

Yesterday, I set up shop at a local fall bizarre.....I've mentioned it before. I was nervous. This was my first show, alone. I'm not good at selling. So, I worried that I wouldn't get a lot of sales. Basically, I wanted to minimize my stock. I have been working for a few months on various items and really didn't have anywhere to put it all. It had to go. So, I priced it to sell.

The show was small. I would say there were a dozen or so booths. When I got there most of the vendors had already set up and were just conversing with the other vendors. So, I felt like all eyes were on me. That made me feel uncomfortable. I love the things I make but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who loves them. I lack confidence sometimes. But, I started setting up my booth, keeping in mind that I was just here to prove to myself that I could do this alone and  I shut everyone else out. I focused on getting things set up and pushed forward.

Once I was done I stood back and smiled. My booth looked good. (I apologize for not taking pictures. Taking pictures in situations like that make me feel awkward. Kind of like the time when I followed a guy around walmart because he reminded me of a character from a Stephanie Plum book and I wanted to get a picture for my cousin. His wife said NO! ) Then, I sat down and organized my bags for easy access. That's when the other vendors came over to check my booth out. I always feel nervous when people step up to my booth. I start to feel like the little train that could! "I know I can!" Just smile and pretend like you have total control over your bladder!  

Well, enough of the play by play. The moral of the story is.......

I put myself in a position that scared the bejeezus out of me and found that it wasn't really any different than posting to this blog! Just because the people I'm directing my words at can actually see me as I'm talking.... it shouldn't cause me to panic! It wasn't bad! I had fun! I sold some things! I made a friend! I got a lot of compliments! If I hadn't put myself out there I would never know that I can do it. Or that it wasn't really anything to freak out about! Don't be skurd!

Short Shorts & Showers

When I became a Mom I traded in my short shorts for short showers! And over the past decade....I have become quite skilled in the art of water conservation. Not just because we pay for our water but because kids left unattended tend to get into trouble.

You know what I'm saying! You get in the shower, wash your hair, shave your legs and arm pits, exfoliate your skin, let the warm water beat down on your back, let the 5 minute miracle conditioner work for an extra 5 minutes and just enjoy the peace and quiet......Ahhhhhhh! So relaxing. Then you get out of the shower to find that not only did your child empty out the brand new gallon of milk in the kitchen floor but now she is pouring flour and quick cooking oats into it. Glad she was paying attention when we made cookies! If only she remembered the bowl. Maybe next time!

Oh yes I have mastered the quick shower. Only shaving one leg a day, washing the hair then immediately plopping some conditioner on my hair and rinsing right away. Exfoliate? yeah right! Did I even use soap today? Please don't judge me! You don't know my daughter!

But, recently I have found that my short showers are not as short as usual and I will tell you why.

My sister-in-law! Yes! YOU!!! (lol)

She bought the toddler these foam letters and numbers for the bath tub! I told her that I was having issues with the toddler at bath time and that it might be a good idea to gift her some bath tub toys for her birthday! So, now, while I'm suppose to be showering with lightening speed.....I'm making words! I'm leaving messages for my husband.........and reminders for myself! I really need to clean the shower thoroughly. Maybe I'll do that the next time I take a shower. Multi-task!

Loop holes

 
I love to watch the toddler grow. I am in love with her curiosity and her problem solving skills. She finds loop holes in the rules already! Her big brothers introduced her to the wet willy months ago! (A wet willy is when you lick your finger and stick in someones ear....Eww! I know!) She's good at it! She slobbers that little finger up and rams it into the ear with such grace and stealth, you don't even know what hit you! But, as proud as I am of her Wet Willy ability....it also annoys me. Especially when I'm in the middle of something and she is manning an assault on my ear canal! So, recently when she thought assaulting me would pass the time nicely I let her know that I don't want her to do that anymore! I said "Please don't stick your finger in my ear anymore. I don't like it and I want you to stop!". I used my "I" statement! Proud of me! She says "Sorry MOM!" and walks away with a sad look. I almost felt bad for a second....then she returned with her doll, who has small arms! The next thing I know.....The dolls arm is in my ear! Loop hole!

Just Like MacGyver...only without the facial hair.

Seriously. I just want to brag a little bit. I was on the brink of being sad today but pulled a Barney and got Awesome instead. You know, because that's how we do it, right?

I procrastinated again. Because well, that's also how I "do it"......I'm going to be showcasing some of my handmade goods at a local bazaar this weekend and waited til the last minute to figure out my display. Shame on me. My budget for props is a big fat zero! I have no money to spend on this show boat! But.......



Simple denim flower...Sold.



Not need to panic! Luckily, I have tons of stuff to play with. So, I took a little break from being super Mom to dig down deep and channel my inner MacGyver. (You know who MacGyver is right? He's the guy on TV way back in the day that could save the world using a paper clip, a tampon and a carton of eggs. I know! Impressive!)



I bought this frame last year for a buck! True Story!



So, I'm standing in my workroom/dining room, looking at all of the things I have at my disposal. Keep in mind I'm doing this while the toddler is pummeling me with her fake sword.......repeatedly......when will I regain sanity Lord? Anyway, I keep reminding myself that  MacGyver worked under pressure too! So, I got this!



I need something to showcase a few of my better, more impressive, tiny bit more expensive hair flowers on. Something that goes along with my Vintage Shabby Chic motif. Well, I think I did ok. Using a bargain picture frame that I bought last year (so the cost doesn't count right?), a piece of scrapbook paper and some leftover ribbon I engineered this handy little hair flower holder! And the bonus part is.....I can use it over and over and over and over and over and over!

 If you got, USE IT! Just saying! 



Super Woman



Me and My Mom.....be jealous of our outfits!



I want to take a minute to bring your attention to someone.

The working Mom......Super Woman.

The Mom who is going to school while raising a family, running a household, or working a full time job.

My Mom was a working Mom. She worked 2 jobs most of the time and put herself through school. She was that good. If I can be half the Mom she is to me, my kids will be the luckiest kids in the world. My Mom is like so many other Super Women.

If you know a Super Woman, I want you to do me a favor, tell her that she is doing an amazing job! Let her know that you think what she is doing is great. If you're at her house today, take out her trash! I wish someone would take out mine!

I bring this up because today I was "dealing" with a bit of attitude from my son, thinking.....If I treated my mom like this....I hope I didn't...... I don't think I was a bad kid. Maybe ......Ok..... I was difficult. When I was a teenager I was moody and unhappy for reasons that I couldn't explain. And I can only imagine how that made my Mom feel. I think the way I'm feeling now might be the way she felt then....Oh the stress! On top of me being difficult, she has always taken care of my Granny in one way or another. I think she could've used a break.....or someone to tell her that she was doing a great job and that all of her hard work was going to pay off. She raised me on her own. NO help from my dad. That's a major accomplishment! Way to Go MOM!

There are so many Moms out there doing the same thing. Putting their kids first, putting their own dreams dead last, taking care of their own parents or loved one.  

Please, encourage a Mom today. And If you know my Mom, give her a hug for me. I wish I was closer so I could do it myself. ~Thank you.

Days like this.....

It's raining. It's cold. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm hungry for something sweet and salty. My toddler is full of energy and my teenager is not in school because he is sick too. Days like this.....I just want to crawl into bed, turn on a Harry Potter movie, sip chicken broth from my favorite coffee mug and read a book in the peace and quiet. But since the toddler is energetic and the teenager isn't amused at all by her picking the lock to his bedroom door, I cannot relax and enjoy my book.

my back yard.....yes I own a rake.

What to do? What to do?

No. I cannot give them both Nyquil!

Give myself Nyquil?......That's a thought......No. I have to drive.....and make phone calls.

Make cookies?

We're out of chocolate chips and butter.

Shoot squirrels off the back fence?

No!!!!! That's not nice. ( can't believe you'd bring that up)

Laundry?....I'm almost out of clean towels and socks.

Ok. I guess. But it doesn't make me feel better.

Talk to myself?.........Shhhh! Don't tell anyone. But sometimes I do talk to myself.

Ok. Here's the plan. Harry Potter in the living room. Hot cocoa with marshmallows for the teenager, chocolate milk with whipped cream for the toddler and chicken noodle soup for me. A pile of blankets made into a fort for the toddler and a nice warm heating pad and quilt for the teenager.

Me?......Fuzzy socks, bath robe and a book!

Ahhhhhhh! Sounds like a plan to make everyone happy!

My favorite Tool.

Recently a friend of mine announced that her and her husband had split up and that they were filing for divorce. She's struggling with the idea and asked for some advice. You know, because I am the voice of reason........really? She asked me how I got through it myself. I had to think about it for a while since this is a volatile time in a woman's life. You have to be careful of what you say! I don't want to tell her about the things I did in the attempt to achieve peace and tranquility.....mostly it could get you arrested and honestly.....it didn't help me! It made me laugh.....but over all it did not work at all. But there is one thing I did to help distract me from the things that I wanted to do........

So, if I had to pass on a "TOOL" to help a woman get through a tough time it would most definitely be a book!

Not just any book.

I cannot wait! Eeek!

When I was at the beginning of my not-so-pretty break up, a friend of mine (who I think was pretty tired of seeing me cry and listening to my drama) gave me a stack of books that she thought I would enjoy. This came at the perfect time since my boys were set to spend their first weekend at their dads new place.

I seriously needed a distraction. Otherwise I was going to do something stupid.....like call my ex every 20 minutes to make sure his new girlfriend wasn't cooking for the boys or trying to make them call her Mom! Ewww! I popped a bag of popcorn, cut up an apple, opened up a fresh jar of Nutella and plopped down on the couch with my stack of books. As I sorted through them I realized that it was a series of books. And you guessed it, all by the wonderful Janet Evonovich! "One for the Money" obviously is book #1! So, I began to read. I had never heard of the series and didn't bother to read the back of the book to find out what the jest of the book would be. An hour into my veg session and I was hooked! I instantly fell in love with the characters! It was just the distraction I needed. ( And probably saved me from getting myself arrested...I'm not perfect)

I realize that a book cannot make you completely forget about your worries. But, as I've said a million times,  reading can be a sweet escape from it for a short period of time. Books can give you hope. A good story can inspire you and make you laugh. And a story can also make you cry. This series has never made me cry! That is why I think it's the perfect tool to get you through that tough time in your life!

I'd like to take this time to thank Janet Evonovich for creating such a fantastic series. (The Stephanie Plum series.) I truly believe it helped me get through my divorce. I love how Stephanie is stumbling through her own life after a divorce, granted she hits a lot of speed bumps along the way, blowing up cars and etc. But that's what makes it so great! She is far from perfect but perfectly great at the same time. Does that make sense? Anyway, don't wait for the movie! Get the book and be prepared to laugh!

Binky Detox

~Bubba & Sissy 2 days old~

I had to write this post early. I will be busy the next couple of days. On Saturday my baby girl will turn 3 years old!! This is the baby girl that my Granny told me I would have after the doctors told me I would never conceive ever again! I guess I showed you! She also told me this after my first husband had a vasectomy! lol! I just shook my head and thought "this won't happen if he has anything to do with it!". Little did I know, I was destined to have a daughter. Or destined to be tortured by this stubborn, strong willed little angel that has swooshed into my life and turned everything upside down! And I would not change it for the world! It's hard to believe that it has been 3 years already. We've survived many things. Teething, the transition from bottle to sippy and potty training. The one thing we have yet to conquer.......ditching the pacifier!

"Mute button"

She calls it her "Bo". I don't have the slightest clue where that came from! There are days when you won't see it in her mouth at all. Then there are days when she just has to know its where abouts. She has chewed it to pieces! It looks very unsanitary! At times I wonder if I'm not as attached to the thing as she is. When she gets herself in a tizzy looking for it, it sets my nerves on edge! And then I'm in a panic tearing the house apart looking for it. I need to stand my ground and say "No, you are a big girl and mommy is too! We can go without the Bo today! (Mommy might take up drinking but you don't need it!)". I need to be stronger.

I have encountered a few people that love to tell me how I can get rid of it.......Really? Thank you for sharing that bit of common sense with me! I do appreciate your thoughtfulness. But, it's not that I don't know HOW to dispose of the thing.....I don't have the will power! Giving the pacifier to the "Binky Fairy" is not an option. This child would hunt the binky fairy down and pummel her til she gave it up! She's a scary child! Sometimes I think she belongs in a pageant, sporting fake lashes and hair extensions! I do love her though.

So, my birthday wish, as her mommy....since she's too young to know that I'm stealing her wish, is that I can muster up some courage, dig deep, put on my big Grrrrrrr panties and just say "La la la la la la La! " When she starts screaming, kicking, biting and hair pulling because I will not find her "BO"! I will reassure her that she is a big girl who uses the big girl potty and wears tinker bell undies and that she does not need that nasty BO!  I will learn to be patient with her and understanding. Because I really do think that breaking her from this pacifier is a lot like taking crack away from an addict!  BINKY DETOX!

Something New

I tell ya! I learn something new about myself everyday!

It's that time of the year. Mice are looking for a place to settle in for the winter. I opened the silverware drawer a few mornings a go to find that something had chewed up the handle of my daughters favorite spoon! It's an outrage! And very disgusting. So, I cleaned everything out of the drawer, bleached it all and left in the dish drainer until I decided that we no longer have a mouse issue. We put out traps and I was hopeful they would work!

Now, let me introduce you to my son........He's 15 and very inventive. He is handy and skilled with a blow dart gun......Yes, I said a blow dart gun! He made it using my curtain rod and various other household items. My curtains are riddled with holes from said instrument of destruction. Anyway, I love my son. He keeps me laughing and amazed! He decided he was going to catch himself a mouse the old fashioned way. He fashioned a trap out of a bowl, a string, a can of beans, a box and peanut butter. He placed it in the kitchen and sat a short distance away to watch it. When/if the mouse went after the loot he would yank the string to drop the bowl onto the mouse! Genius!

I figured there was only one problem with his plan. There was no way that mouse was going to come out in broad daylight with him sitting there like that and just as I was telling him this that mouse came trotting out and sat right next to my son! My jaw dropped open! It was absolutely comical.We all just sat still waiting to see what it would do next.....It finally ran under the couch! Once we all snapped out of our amazement,  my two sons worked together to catch the mouse and then  dropped it off by our mailbox. The end of that.

But ever since that day, I can't help but wonder if he got back in the house! Then today my daughter says "Mama, Mouse!".

This is where I learned something new about myself!!!!

I'm afraid of mice.

I don't know if I've ever moved so fast in my life! But I do know that my dining room table will support my weight and the toddlers!.......And the no good for nothing cat! She's fired by the way! :)

I feel pretty when....

I've struggled with low self esteem most of my life. But, I'm working on convincing myself that I am beautiful and worthy. I use to avoid mirrors. Now I stop and make faces at myself!
I use to wear boring clothes that are easily 2 sizes too big to hide my curves. Now, I wear stretch denim to show off my curves. Still working on breaking away from black shirts though. I use to hate pictures of myself. Now I only dislike bad pictures of myself and learned how to take a better picture.

So, what makes me feel pretty? I've thought about it long and hard. I'm in my 30's and I have grey hair and creases on my forehead. I have wrinkles around my eyes. My hair isn't always perfect and I usually have a zit somewhere on my chin because I'm cursed with adult acne I guess. But those things don't make me feel pretty. I feel pretty when I laugh or smile. It's that simple. I feel pretty when I make other people laugh or smile. Didn't someone say "The most beautiful curve on a woman's body is a smile"? And ain't that the truth?

I feel pretty when I smile. Not when I have loads of make up on and brand new clothes. Not when I have freshly dyed hair or when I'm wearing a dress. I feel pretty when I'm having fun. So, I guess when I ran out of the house the other day to greet my bf and I told her I didn't feel pretty, I was wrong. I had a huge smile on my face and she was smiling back. I had one charcoal grey eye and one mocha eye but hey! I was pretty anyway!

Don't get me wrong. I love to sit in the floor with my daughter and paint my nails. I love to wear nice clothes. But comfort is a big thing for me. And wearing a dress is not always comfortable.  I have stepped outside of my comfort zone a few times and I'm still trying to feel less awkward in a dress than I use to. It's a gradual process. I do feel better when I don't have as many grey hairs but I'm learning to embrace the changes that come with age. I've come a long way.

I hope you're feeling pretty today. Where ever you are in life. Don't let someone ever make you feel like you're not pretty. Do what makes you feel pretty! Do it for you and do it for future generations.