You are my Sunshine

My Aunt & Sister

I've been lucky enough in my lifetime to know some truly amazing women. Two of which, I call my sisters even though we do not share the same parents. We have a sisterly bond that has been tried and tested over the years. We don't always see eye to eye but we support each other. I can always count on my sisters to hear my gripe and bring a new light to the situation. I thank God for them each and every day.

Recently, in craft class, the teenagers and I were discussing women who inspire us. Over the last few weeks the girls have been exploring their options after graduation. It's hard to know at that age what you want to be when you grow up so I suggested that they look to someone who they are inspired by. A sister..... Maybe a friend who has made it through college, followed a dream and found a great job or someone who is going in the direction they could possibly see themselves going in.Or someone who has overcome major obstacles like my sisters. Ask a teenage girl to name a woman who inspires them and you will most likely hear something like "Beyonce or Oprah!" and that's great! Both women are strong, independent women who have made great strides. But I wanted  them to find someone a little closer to home who they could interview. Someone local. This got my wheels turning. I had to ask myself.......

Who inspires me?

Sisters

I'm inspired by the people who follow their dreams, overcome obstacles to achieve their goals. I'm inspired by people who don't stop, never give up! Live the dream! The single Mom who busted ass to raise a family and make it through college to get that degree and run with the big boys! The Mom who single handedly put her kids through college! The young artist who kept focused and followed a dream to be a photographer after she blew the boys out of the water with her tattoo skills. Yeah! I love these women. They are ROCK STARS! They jump lifes hurdles like Wonder Woman! When my day looks like it's turning to gloom these women bring out the sunshine and I can see clearly! They make me want to keep going. They are showing me everyday that it is possible! Dreams do come true. You just have to work for it! So, ladies and gentlemen......Don't give up!

Kids with Guns

When I was a young Mom I didn't let my sons play with toy guns.

I'll let you have a minute to take that tidbit of info in and let it slosh around in your head. You can decide where you stand on the issue.

Ok. Well, obviously, I no longer tell my children that they can't play with toy guns because as you can see from the picture to the left....the other left....I let them run around the back yard, re-enacting scenes from the popular television show COPS! Get the theme song out of your head and pay attention. 

Now, you wouldn't believe the amount of people who thought I was making a bad choice by letting my kids play with guns in the yard. I posted pics to facebook! And as you know, that invites a slew of opinions on your parenting choices. To avoid total mayhem, I deleted the comments.

I thought the pictures were funny. I mean, have you ever googled "cats with guns!" Hello FUNNY! Kids with FAKE guns in a controlled environment are equally as funny in my opinion. But, how do you approach the situation where someone tells you how they think you could improve as a parent? It's an awkward situation for me. I've come up with a cookie cutter phrase to use the next time I am faced with this issue. Here it goes.

I respect your opinions. I don't always or ever agree with your opinions but I realize you are entitled to them. I have a parenting style all my own as I am sure you do too. My kids are stable individuals who have never held anyone hostage! Let's agree to disagree but keep it to ourselves in order to avoid world war 3.

An emotional week

I'm not sure if there are many women who would say that they haven't had an emotional week at one point in time. Maybe you wake up one day in a good mood but on the way to work a song on the radio sparks an old feeling and sets you in a downward spiral into the abyss of depression. No matter what you do, you just cannot shake the feeling. A commercial on TV or a movie playing on the TLC. Whatever it is, you get sucked in by it. You can tell yourself that you have no reason at all to be in this mood but it won't work. For some reason you are destined to break down and cry at least once a day. Count your blessings and you still can't look past whatever it is that haunts you!

Been there. Done that. I usually call my Mom or my best friend, whom I affectionately refer to as stripper. At least one of them has the right words. But sometimes, they have more reasons to be melancholy than I do. So I just call to hear their reasons. This week when I found myself crying over a diaper commercial I called Stripper.

Stripper has a lot on her plate right now. She has spent the last year reconnecting with her father who is battling cancer. She has a boat load of kids, most of them her own and a busy husband. I figured I would call and let her side track me from my silliness. But, she has that way of knowing when I've misplaced my muchness and she calls me out. I explain my problem to her and she says.......

"Throw it in the trash!"

Me: Ummmm? huh?

Her: (very matter of factly she says) Write your problem or complaint on a piece of paper and toss it in the trash.

Me: I don't think that will make me feel better.

Her: Ok! Then put the toddler in the car, drive to McDonalds, order a cone and when you give the lady your money, slip your piece of paper in with your money and drive away!

Me: [imagining the look on the cashiers face, Stripper in her giant SUV with 8 kids.......] Have you tried this before?

Her: No! I flush mine down the toilet!

Me: Won't that clog your toilet eventually?

Her: Hasn't so far! I look at it this way. There's always someone out there who has it way worse and just as soon as you stop believing that, you'll find it out the hard way. Don't waste your time on the things that don't matter. Stop reading from that chapter. It already happened. It's time for the next book already! And if Frank ever mentions that the toilet is acting up, you don't know squat!

Me: That's for sure!

The moral of the story is......if you happen to work at my local McDonalds and one day you get a piece of paper that says "My toilet is clogged up and I don't have 2 pennies to rub together!", well, sorry! I had to do something. And like Stripper says "focus on the things that matter!" If you keep focusing on the things that cause the grief you need a swift kick. Everybody line up behind me! I'm first in line!

Success

Yesterday, I set up shop at a local fall bizarre.....I've mentioned it before. I was nervous. This was my first show, alone. I'm not good at selling. So, I worried that I wouldn't get a lot of sales. Basically, I wanted to minimize my stock. I have been working for a few months on various items and really didn't have anywhere to put it all. It had to go. So, I priced it to sell.

The show was small. I would say there were a dozen or so booths. When I got there most of the vendors had already set up and were just conversing with the other vendors. So, I felt like all eyes were on me. That made me feel uncomfortable. I love the things I make but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who loves them. I lack confidence sometimes. But, I started setting up my booth, keeping in mind that I was just here to prove to myself that I could do this alone and  I shut everyone else out. I focused on getting things set up and pushed forward.

Once I was done I stood back and smiled. My booth looked good. (I apologize for not taking pictures. Taking pictures in situations like that make me feel awkward. Kind of like the time when I followed a guy around walmart because he reminded me of a character from a Stephanie Plum book and I wanted to get a picture for my cousin. His wife said NO! ) Then, I sat down and organized my bags for easy access. That's when the other vendors came over to check my booth out. I always feel nervous when people step up to my booth. I start to feel like the little train that could! "I know I can!" Just smile and pretend like you have total control over your bladder!  

Well, enough of the play by play. The moral of the story is.......

I put myself in a position that scared the bejeezus out of me and found that it wasn't really any different than posting to this blog! Just because the people I'm directing my words at can actually see me as I'm talking.... it shouldn't cause me to panic! It wasn't bad! I had fun! I sold some things! I made a friend! I got a lot of compliments! If I hadn't put myself out there I would never know that I can do it. Or that it wasn't really anything to freak out about! Don't be skurd!

Short Shorts & Showers

When I became a Mom I traded in my short shorts for short showers! And over the past decade....I have become quite skilled in the art of water conservation. Not just because we pay for our water but because kids left unattended tend to get into trouble.

You know what I'm saying! You get in the shower, wash your hair, shave your legs and arm pits, exfoliate your skin, let the warm water beat down on your back, let the 5 minute miracle conditioner work for an extra 5 minutes and just enjoy the peace and quiet......Ahhhhhhh! So relaxing. Then you get out of the shower to find that not only did your child empty out the brand new gallon of milk in the kitchen floor but now she is pouring flour and quick cooking oats into it. Glad she was paying attention when we made cookies! If only she remembered the bowl. Maybe next time!

Oh yes I have mastered the quick shower. Only shaving one leg a day, washing the hair then immediately plopping some conditioner on my hair and rinsing right away. Exfoliate? yeah right! Did I even use soap today? Please don't judge me! You don't know my daughter!

But, recently I have found that my short showers are not as short as usual and I will tell you why.

My sister-in-law! Yes! YOU!!! (lol)

She bought the toddler these foam letters and numbers for the bath tub! I told her that I was having issues with the toddler at bath time and that it might be a good idea to gift her some bath tub toys for her birthday! So, now, while I'm suppose to be showering with lightening speed.....I'm making words! I'm leaving messages for my husband.........and reminders for myself! I really need to clean the shower thoroughly. Maybe I'll do that the next time I take a shower. Multi-task!

Loop holes

 
I love to watch the toddler grow. I am in love with her curiosity and her problem solving skills. She finds loop holes in the rules already! Her big brothers introduced her to the wet willy months ago! (A wet willy is when you lick your finger and stick in someones ear....Eww! I know!) She's good at it! She slobbers that little finger up and rams it into the ear with such grace and stealth, you don't even know what hit you! But, as proud as I am of her Wet Willy ability....it also annoys me. Especially when I'm in the middle of something and she is manning an assault on my ear canal! So, recently when she thought assaulting me would pass the time nicely I let her know that I don't want her to do that anymore! I said "Please don't stick your finger in my ear anymore. I don't like it and I want you to stop!". I used my "I" statement! Proud of me! She says "Sorry MOM!" and walks away with a sad look. I almost felt bad for a second....then she returned with her doll, who has small arms! The next thing I know.....The dolls arm is in my ear! Loop hole!

Super Woman



Me and My Mom.....be jealous of our outfits!



I want to take a minute to bring your attention to someone.

The working Mom......Super Woman.

The Mom who is going to school while raising a family, running a household, or working a full time job.

My Mom was a working Mom. She worked 2 jobs most of the time and put herself through school. She was that good. If I can be half the Mom she is to me, my kids will be the luckiest kids in the world. My Mom is like so many other Super Women.

If you know a Super Woman, I want you to do me a favor, tell her that she is doing an amazing job! Let her know that you think what she is doing is great. If you're at her house today, take out her trash! I wish someone would take out mine!

I bring this up because today I was "dealing" with a bit of attitude from my son, thinking.....If I treated my mom like this....I hope I didn't...... I don't think I was a bad kid. Maybe ......Ok..... I was difficult. When I was a teenager I was moody and unhappy for reasons that I couldn't explain. And I can only imagine how that made my Mom feel. I think the way I'm feeling now might be the way she felt then....Oh the stress! On top of me being difficult, she has always taken care of my Granny in one way or another. I think she could've used a break.....or someone to tell her that she was doing a great job and that all of her hard work was going to pay off. She raised me on her own. NO help from my dad. That's a major accomplishment! Way to Go MOM!

There are so many Moms out there doing the same thing. Putting their kids first, putting their own dreams dead last, taking care of their own parents or loved one.  

Please, encourage a Mom today. And If you know my Mom, give her a hug for me. I wish I was closer so I could do it myself. ~Thank you.

Days like this.....

It's raining. It's cold. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm hungry for something sweet and salty. My toddler is full of energy and my teenager is not in school because he is sick too. Days like this.....I just want to crawl into bed, turn on a Harry Potter movie, sip chicken broth from my favorite coffee mug and read a book in the peace and quiet. But since the toddler is energetic and the teenager isn't amused at all by her picking the lock to his bedroom door, I cannot relax and enjoy my book.

my back yard.....yes I own a rake.

What to do? What to do?

No. I cannot give them both Nyquil!

Give myself Nyquil?......That's a thought......No. I have to drive.....and make phone calls.

Make cookies?

We're out of chocolate chips and butter.

Shoot squirrels off the back fence?

No!!!!! That's not nice. ( can't believe you'd bring that up)

Laundry?....I'm almost out of clean towels and socks.

Ok. I guess. But it doesn't make me feel better.

Talk to myself?.........Shhhh! Don't tell anyone. But sometimes I do talk to myself.

Ok. Here's the plan. Harry Potter in the living room. Hot cocoa with marshmallows for the teenager, chocolate milk with whipped cream for the toddler and chicken noodle soup for me. A pile of blankets made into a fort for the toddler and a nice warm heating pad and quilt for the teenager.

Me?......Fuzzy socks, bath robe and a book!

Ahhhhhhh! Sounds like a plan to make everyone happy!

Lunchtime

I don't know about you but I am not a fan of Campbell's soup. I use to love their soup! We ate soup and grilled cheese a lot! It was quick and easy and didn't break the bank. I could make each person what they wanted and nobody was unhappy.

BUT, now it just doesn't seem to have any flavor! No matter how much salt I add, it just doesn't taste good to me. The toddler is a fan of anything disney! Of course, Campbell's knows how much every kid loves their disney characters! So, they make these cool soups with the characters in noodle form. We have had several instances where the toddler picks up a can of soup, we get home, I make said soup, she won't eat it! She says it's yucky!

I am not a fan of wasting food! I don't care how wealthy you are! You should not waste food! It has nothing to do with starving kids in Africa. We have enough of them here in the United States! Waste not, want not! So, I stopped buying Campbell's soup! But, Lord knows I had enough in the cupboard! I am a huge fan of Gia Russa soup.....as seen in the picture here. I love the flavor and the bowties are so cute and tastey tastey! It does have a rich flavor and at times I have had to add a little extra water but make your own and adjust according to your taste. If you love chicken soup when you're sick.....this is the best! Add a can of mixed stew style veggies if you want to make it a little heartier!

Anyway, So, today while I'm looking through the pantry I'm thinking "Ugh! We still have a can of that soup left and nobody will eat it.........Light bulb!". It hit me! Hello? Combine the two soups! The toddler will get her fun shapes and the flavor of the tastey soup! And that's what I did. I made the Mia Russa soup according to the directions. At the end I added the Cars soup and half a can of water! She was very happy to see her fun shapes and loved the bow ties too! I even heard her say "Mmmmmm! Tastey Tastey!"

Binky Detox

~Bubba & Sissy 2 days old~

I had to write this post early. I will be busy the next couple of days. On Saturday my baby girl will turn 3 years old!! This is the baby girl that my Granny told me I would have after the doctors told me I would never conceive ever again! I guess I showed you! She also told me this after my first husband had a vasectomy! lol! I just shook my head and thought "this won't happen if he has anything to do with it!". Little did I know, I was destined to have a daughter. Or destined to be tortured by this stubborn, strong willed little angel that has swooshed into my life and turned everything upside down! And I would not change it for the world! It's hard to believe that it has been 3 years already. We've survived many things. Teething, the transition from bottle to sippy and potty training. The one thing we have yet to conquer.......ditching the pacifier!

"Mute button"

She calls it her "Bo". I don't have the slightest clue where that came from! There are days when you won't see it in her mouth at all. Then there are days when she just has to know its where abouts. She has chewed it to pieces! It looks very unsanitary! At times I wonder if I'm not as attached to the thing as she is. When she gets herself in a tizzy looking for it, it sets my nerves on edge! And then I'm in a panic tearing the house apart looking for it. I need to stand my ground and say "No, you are a big girl and mommy is too! We can go without the Bo today! (Mommy might take up drinking but you don't need it!)". I need to be stronger.

I have encountered a few people that love to tell me how I can get rid of it.......Really? Thank you for sharing that bit of common sense with me! I do appreciate your thoughtfulness. But, it's not that I don't know HOW to dispose of the thing.....I don't have the will power! Giving the pacifier to the "Binky Fairy" is not an option. This child would hunt the binky fairy down and pummel her til she gave it up! She's a scary child! Sometimes I think she belongs in a pageant, sporting fake lashes and hair extensions! I do love her though.

So, my birthday wish, as her mommy....since she's too young to know that I'm stealing her wish, is that I can muster up some courage, dig deep, put on my big Grrrrrrr panties and just say "La la la la la la La! " When she starts screaming, kicking, biting and hair pulling because I will not find her "BO"! I will reassure her that she is a big girl who uses the big girl potty and wears tinker bell undies and that she does not need that nasty BO!  I will learn to be patient with her and understanding. Because I really do think that breaking her from this pacifier is a lot like taking crack away from an addict!  BINKY DETOX!

My Bucket List~Revised

Five years ago I threw away my bucket list. The things that were on it were not going to get crossed off at the rate I was going. I thought I wanted things that just weren't achievable. For example, Go to a Cubs Game (Who would I go with?).....Read 100 books (When would I have time?)......Repair something in my home (I don't own tools).

All of those things seemed so ridiculous to me. But I wrote them on a piece of paper. I sat down with a pen and paper and I wrote out the things that I truly wanted to do......for me. Not my family. Not my boys. And most certainly not my husband. Then one day, I think I was feeling like I was not worthy to achieve any of those things and that maybe I was being selfish for wanting anything for myself. It was almost as if I wanted to punish myself for something. I wasn't good enough for my husband so why should I be happy. That's what it was. I think I just had an epiphany.

Anyway, I ripped up that list. I tossed it in the trash and I didn't think about the things on that list for a while. My husband left. I fell apart. When I started seeing my counselor she told me I had to pick myself back up and heal myself, stop looking at the past and focus on the future. I had no idea how to do that. So, she suggested that I make a bucket list. It would be something to focus on. A way to move forward.

11. Get a Tattoo.....done.

 I didn't know how to put my own "wants" before others. So, when she told me to come back in a week with 10 things written on a piece of paper I thought "I might not be back!". It was too much work. Too hard to focus on me alone. But I did it! It makes me giggle now! I read over that list and I think "WOW! I'm a rock star!" Because I've crossed off most of the things and added a few....or revised it. Other people might think that the things on that list are silly and that's fine. Everyone is entitled to their own adventure.

This is the list I took to my counselor. I've marked the things I've since accomplished.

1. Go to a Cubs Game.......done! Thank you Jen!

2. Read 100 books.....done...read 100 more.

3. Drive to Arkansas with kids by myself....done.

4. Learn to forgive......done.

5. Learn to laugh at myself.....done.

6. Take a trip overseas.

7. Dye my hair pink......done.

8. Take a glass blowing class.

9. Hold a frog in my hand.....done (long story)

10. Repair something in my home.....done....scars to prove it.

I've added things to that list. I have about 31 things written down. These are things I want to do for myself and my family. I feel like I can include my family now. I've come a long way. Next week in craft class my girls will bring their own Bucket List. We'll talk about the things on their lists and figure out a way to achieve them. I'm looking forward to seeing what they've written. What's on your list?

Adoption Option

Every once in a while I have to ground myself from reading the news paper because often I read a story and it stays with me for days. It sets my mood and is a total buzz kill. A few days ago my husband brought the paper home and I read the front page. It was depressing.  A car accident, a home invasion that lead to the death of a college professor and then an article about the death of  a baby. Of course I was drawn to the story about the baby. 

As I read the story I found myself clinching my fists and shaking my head.

A young mother, 22 years old, killed her baby girl. The autopsy said the baby died from blunt force trauma I believe. The young mother threw the baby at her boyfriend during a heated argument, shook the baby and hit the baby's head on the door frame while walking threw the house. She said she was under a lot of stress and had actually considered giving the baby up for adoption but people made her feel bad for even thinking it.

I know the stress of being a young mom. I gave birth to my oldest son shortly after I was old enough to vote. I was very inexperienced when it came to babies. Truth be told I was clueless. I was young, scared and in a rocky relationship. I know how easily a young Mom can lose her mind. Fortunately, I had an amazing support system. I had someone to tell me it would be ok, to encourage me and show me right from wrong.

I teach a craft class a couple times a month. My students are teenage Moms who have been misplaced or need guidance. When I first accepted the position I wondered what I could possibly teach them other than how to successfully use a hot glue gun without gluing your hand to your forehead. Now that I've read the article about this young mom I feel like I need to teach them  more. I want them to know that it's ok to be frustrated! It's ok to be overwhelmed! But they need to know how to deal with it! They need to know that it's ok to ask for help. Common sense tells us it's not right to throw a baby or shake them. But not every one uses their common sense when they are overwhelmed. Especially young people.

These girls need to know that adoption is not a failure on their part. It does not make them horrible mothers at all. It saddens me to think that 2 lives could've been saved if the ignorance of others could've been squashed. If those people would've just kept thier mouth shut and used thier brain a young mother might've done the right thing and she wouldn't be going to prison and a loving couple would be welcoming a baby into their home. There are so many people out their who, for whatever reason, can't have children of their own. And there are young women out there who feel like adoption is a failure on their part. It's not.