Hammer Time

If you're reading this, congratulations. You made it through the end of the world. I think it's time to question a few experts, find out why they would spread such idiocies and cause people to freak out. Sure, it's fun but really? It's the holidays. Shopping alone is enough to get people in an uproar. Advertise $20 iphones at Walmart and then only carry two per store. That's how you get people freaked out and angry! Save the end of the world shenanigans.

Anyway, My daughter started preschool this year. Kids don't always share but when they do it's always germs and sickness. In this household we've been sick for a while. One person gets it and spreads it. The plague, that's what I've named it and just when you start to feel better... Wham! Like a hammer, it hits you again. Ugh! I'm so sick of being sick. Fed up!! This is the worst the plague has hit in a very long time. Even when my oldest son got the swine flu after having surgery, the rest of us stayed healthy.

So, I was complaining to my good friend, Stripper. She's a good listener. Hardly ever has input and in the end I usually talk myself into a solution to my problem. Gotta love her. Recently when I called to rant about the plague and how sick I am of being sick she did something that made me arch an eyebrow and say "I'm sorry, did you say something?" She said "Uh yeah! You quit using antibacterial dish soap!"

I did.

I most certainly did stop using antibacterial dish soap. See, I do dishes by hand. I'm old school like that. When did I stop using it? When school started. Why did I stop using it? Because I had a coupon. I got sucked into that coupon madness and bought a bottle of fancy Dawn dish soap that boasts "Overnight soaking power" and it's not lying. Fill your sink with hot water, add a dash of Dawn Power Clean, and your dirtiest caked- on dishes. While you put away the clean dishes, let the dirty ones soak for about five minutes. The crap practically falls off of the dishes. It makes my job do much easier. Now, normally I use the orange Dawn Antibacterial dish soap. It smells good and cuts the grease. Works good but doesn't do what the Power Clean does. Buying this new stuff felt a lot like cheating. I'm sorry Dawn Antibacterial. I still love you.

So, did I rush out and buy a bottle of the trusty old faithful? No. I put bleach in my dishwater and then I proceeded to wash everything and anything that my kids have touched; doorknobs, light switches, fridge handle, microwave buttons. I even cleaned the remotes and game controllers. I normally only bleach the bathrooms on a regular basis. I use Clorox wipes on things in the rest of the house when I have them but apparently I haven't had a coupon for that so we are without. I'm sure motivated housewives do this sort of thing every other day, adding bleach to their dishwater and washing everything in sight but I'm busy writing books. I'll have to make more of an effort if I want to kill the plague.

The point of this post is to bring awareness, to tell you... my TV remotes are clean. That is all.

Patience, My Child.

I don't know what I was thinking! My Mom recently sent a box of gifts for me to wrap! I have always wrapped my own gifts, for as long as I can remember! I don't mind! I like to wrap presents. So, anyway, she sent a box of gifts from Arkansas for the kids. I wrapped them while the toddler was napping. She is starting to understand what this Christmas business is all about. But she doesn't realize that what you give is suppose to be a secret. I didn't want her to tell the boys what I wrapped. And they would ask her to tell them. She wouldn't know any better. I wrapped the presents, placed them under the tree just so I could see how pretty it looked with gifts under it. Ahhhh! So beautiful. Then I got sidetracked by something. Could've been the dryer or something shiny! I'm easily distracted. Anyway, the gifts got left under the tree instead of hidden in a cabinet where they were safe from the toddler.

When the toddler, Miss E, woke up she discovered the presents and was so happy! Instant forehead slap! I explained to her that we had to wait for Santa to come and bring her a gift before we could open the ones under the tree! She seemed to be Ok with that. Whew! Well, not for long! I tromped off to the bedroom to put away laundry and while I was doing that the brothers tag teamed her and put the idea in her head to "tell Mama you want to open a present!". I love my boys but I think the influence they have over this child is criminal. That was the beginning of a horrible evening! For hours she could not be persuaded to wait! I wouldn't back down. I decided to leave the gifts under the tree instead of hiding them away the first chance I got. I'm trying to teach her that "No" means "Ain't happening! No matter how hard you scream! So get over it!"........Eventually, she calmed down and stopped screaming "Mama Mean!". Bedtime rolled around, I fell asleep, she stayed awake and the next thing I knew I woke up to "Thank you Santa Claus!"....................



Apparently she got into the snacks too!



Oh! NO! I forgot about the gifts under the tree! She got up and decided to open them! She ran into the bedroom, flipped on the light and said "Mama, look! My hat! Owl!"..........My Mom has a thing about owls lately! You'll see what I mean in an upcoming post. She buys Miss E pajamas with owls, shirts with owls etc. For Christmas she bought her this adorable Owl hat! It really is the cutest! Miss E loves it! I let her keep the hat but explained to her that Nana bought her the hat, not Santa. And we really should wait til Christmas day when Santa brings her a gift. She wasn't buying what I was selling so for a couple more hours I had to sweet talk her and coax her back to sleep.

So, my question......Do you wait til Christmas Eve to display presents or do you set yourself up for punishment by putting them out as soon as they are wrapped? I think for this household, we'll hide the presents from now on and I'll just chalk this one up to another Lesson Learned!

Crafting with the Toddler

I craft with the toddler often. She starts the mornings off with crayons and a coloring book or paints! Occasionally, she'll dig the jar of buttons off of the shelf and arrange them on the table to make a pretty picture. She is very creative! Well, I was sitting on the couch folding laundry the other day and realized that I don't have one single kid-made ornament on my tree! That is an outrage! I use to have tons of ornaments that my boys made in school and at home! I had so many that I would hang them from garland above the door. But, sadly they were lost in the great basement flood of 2006! It was such a sad day! You can't replace them and now that the boys are teens they are not a fan of recreating them! Double sad! I miss my babies!

I wanted to fix the fact that my tree was lacking character. So I decided to trade the toddlers crayons and paint in for scrap book paper one morning. At first she wasn't happy about it. She loves her crayons! But, once I started to trace her hand on the back of this pretty paper things started to look up!

So, just a quick how-to, since I didn't have my camera when I made these and don't have pictures to follow along with it.......On the back of a patterned piece of scrapbook paper (the back was a solid color otherwise you could glue your cut out onto a solid or print and then cut that out), I traced her hand using a pencil. That way I could erase any lines that might show.

Then, I brought out the glue and lord help me. I am still cleaning glue off of my chair! Originally, I thought I would just let her dip her finger in the glue and finger paint the hand print with the glue but she wasn't having any of that mess! So, I grabbed a cotton swab and let her dip it instead. On the hand print in the picture, I helped! So of course it's all nice and neat. But she used a more artful approach when left to her own devices and she pretty much covered the entire hand print with glue. I had to make sure she didn't take too long with the glue since I didn't want it to dry. I wanted the glitter to stick!

Once the GLITTER came out she was all in! Loving this project to pieces! Yes she was! I'll be cleaning glitter up for a very long time. I don't care! So, she has everything in the dining area coated with glitter. There's no more glitter and  that's her cue to shove off. Leave Mama to do the dirty work once again. I left everything to dry on the table while I vacuumed the rest and swiffered what I could up. I used a hole punch to punch a hole in the cut out once it was dry, for my ribbon. But, on some of them I used fishing line. I don't know why.......I just thought I'd try it out, save some ribbon. You could also use yarn! Or embroidery thread. Maybe string some beads through to make it extra fancy!  You could even trace their hands on a recent picture if you wanted to make it more personalized. The possibilities are endless. On the back of our hand prints I wrote her name and the year so we could keep track. We'll see what it looks like next year! :)

The Hunger Games

So, you know that a while back I started volunteering with a group of girls, in their teens, teaching a craft class. The class has become a little more than crafts. I'm more of a mentor, as scary as that seems. When the class first started we had 8 girls between the ages of 13 and 18. All of them have been in and out of juvenile detention centers and all are currently in foster care. Most of them have had children of their own. How scary is that? But, 2 of the girls have moved on or found a forever home. I've grown to love these girls and respect them. They are teaching me as much as they say I'm teaching them. But recently we have started a little book club. (This could be a long post)

It all started when the girls arrived for class and I was reading my kindle. I was just finishing up "Persuasion" by Jane Austen. Teenagers are drawn to technology. So, of course they swarmed around me to check it out. I told them what I was reading and to my surprise every single one of them said that they have never read a book! I was flabbergasted! We spent the entire class discussing books I thought they might like. Then it was decided that I would bring a book and read to them. So, I brought the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I read the series and fell in love with it and figured they would love it too. And bonus! The movie will be in theatres in March!

The day of our next class came. I brought the book. I told the girls that I would start reading and then we would pass the kindle around for everyone to have a turn. They didn't like that idea! I remember how scared I was when I had to take a speech class in high school. But really, it's no different than standing up and speaking to a group of friends. Reading from a book is easier! You have the words right in front of you! You don't have to figure out what to say! I explained to the girls that nobody would judge them and that they should respect each others reading time by being quiet and most of all, pay attention to the story! I love to read aloud! Call me crazy but I use to read to the boys on long road trips! I read an entire Harry Potter book to them once and was hoarse when I was done! Good Times!

The reading went well. The girls payed attention and were very respectful and I could tell they were falling in love with this book! We read the first two chapters in class. Rose, my partner in this adventure surprised the girls by giving them the first book to take home. 

If you haven't heard of the book let me give you a little background..... The book takes place in the not too distant future. The US has been divided into 12 districts and has fallen to despair. People are starving! The Government has come up with a GAME where each district offers up 2 representatives between the ages of 12 and 18 to participate. It's like Survivor meets Gladiator! The reps are chosen via lottery. It's a horrible game where the players fight to the death! To me, this story is about bravery, honor, family and survival! It is amazing!

To one of my girls in class, it hit a little too close to home. She comes from a seriously broken home. Meals were non-existent but abuse was a plenty. Her Mom checked out and left her to care for her siblings. It was not a pretty picture. I never realized how close to home this book would hit for her. What was I thinking? I felt so bad when she called me to say she couldn't read the book. I thought she meant that it was too difficult, maybe she wasn't the best reader. I told her she could get an audio book and read along....But what she meant was the book hits a little too close to home..........ohhh. I keep telling these girls to leave the past in the past, right? So, how do you deal with this?

You hear songs on the radio, watch movies that hit close to home, bring on bad memories. do you stop watching the movie? You can! Or you can keep watching it and remind yourself that you're a survivor and that is the past! You've learned your lesson and you're moving on. Be proud of that! I love this girl to death for her courage and her siblings are the luckiest kids in the world to have such a great big sister. She taught them to overcome and to never give up! NEVER STOP TRYING!

She kept reading the book. She finished it and moved on to the second. This book is so inspiring. It made me think.......We live in a society that takes everything for granted. Sorry, there are people who know the value of things. But for the most part we blow things out of proportion. The holidays are upon us and I bet we're going overboard! Don't over do it!

An emotional week

I'm not sure if there are many women who would say that they haven't had an emotional week at one point in time. Maybe you wake up one day in a good mood but on the way to work a song on the radio sparks an old feeling and sets you in a downward spiral into the abyss of depression. No matter what you do, you just cannot shake the feeling. A commercial on TV or a movie playing on the TLC. Whatever it is, you get sucked in by it. You can tell yourself that you have no reason at all to be in this mood but it won't work. For some reason you are destined to break down and cry at least once a day. Count your blessings and you still can't look past whatever it is that haunts you!

Been there. Done that. I usually call my Mom or my best friend, whom I affectionately refer to as stripper. At least one of them has the right words. But sometimes, they have more reasons to be melancholy than I do. So I just call to hear their reasons. This week when I found myself crying over a diaper commercial I called Stripper.

Stripper has a lot on her plate right now. She has spent the last year reconnecting with her father who is battling cancer. She has a boat load of kids, most of them her own and a busy husband. I figured I would call and let her side track me from my silliness. But, she has that way of knowing when I've misplaced my muchness and she calls me out. I explain my problem to her and she says.......

"Throw it in the trash!"

Me: Ummmm? huh?

Her: (very matter of factly she says) Write your problem or complaint on a piece of paper and toss it in the trash.

Me: I don't think that will make me feel better.

Her: Ok! Then put the toddler in the car, drive to McDonalds, order a cone and when you give the lady your money, slip your piece of paper in with your money and drive away!

Me: [imagining the look on the cashiers face, Stripper in her giant SUV with 8 kids.......] Have you tried this before?

Her: No! I flush mine down the toilet!

Me: Won't that clog your toilet eventually?

Her: Hasn't so far! I look at it this way. There's always someone out there who has it way worse and just as soon as you stop believing that, you'll find it out the hard way. Don't waste your time on the things that don't matter. Stop reading from that chapter. It already happened. It's time for the next book already! And if Frank ever mentions that the toilet is acting up, you don't know squat!

Me: That's for sure!

The moral of the story is......if you happen to work at my local McDonalds and one day you get a piece of paper that says "My toilet is clogged up and I don't have 2 pennies to rub together!", well, sorry! I had to do something. And like Stripper says "focus on the things that matter!" If you keep focusing on the things that cause the grief you need a swift kick. Everybody line up behind me! I'm first in line!

The Zombie Plan

I don't know about you but I like to use the time I spend with family at the holidays productively! Cut the chit chat and get right on down to business! I know your job sucks! I know your kids are over achievers and haven't missed a day of school in EVER! Your wife birthed all of your children naturally unless you count the un-natural screaming coming from her contorted body! Sorry about calling the exorcist! I really thought I was helping! And yes, you have already told me that you went coyote hunting with Dick Cheney and lived to tell about it! Congrats! Now let's talk about something important!

YOUR ZOMBIE PLAN!!!

I am totally kidding!

You don't have a zombie plan? What? That is crazy talk! You really should be prepared! I have secretly been training my boys to fight zombies! They think it's just a cool video game but honestly it's just a top secret training device! I am certain that when zombies do attack and our Twinkie supplies are completely depleted, we will be forced to use our noggins to fight them off and my boys will lead the fight with stealth, intelligence and lots of ammo.....right after we hit up the gun store! I've began stock piling supplies! I have 4 jars of pickles, a can of instant coffee, a package of D batteries, flash lights, glow sticks, coloring books, crayons, all seasons of Sons of Anarchy, band aids, bug spray and 400 gallon jugs for water hidden in the shed. I still have to put water in the jugs but since we pay for our water I'm having a hard time with that! I will keep working on it. 

Ohhhhhhh! Seriously! I'm kidding! I was just getting tired of cousin Tom. Yak! Yak! Do you ever find yourself in the position where you're facing off with that family member that has to go on and on about how great his or her life is, or how great their spouse or kids are? Do you ever just want to say "Oh! Yeah!? Well, I saved $345 on my car insurance?" Really, we don't get together at the holidays to hear cousin TOM verbally pat himself on the back for being a douche bag! We get together to give thanks for our many blessings! Let us be humble this holiday season and give thanks that cousin TOM might be humble too! 

Short Shorts & Showers

When I became a Mom I traded in my short shorts for short showers! And over the past decade....I have become quite skilled in the art of water conservation. Not just because we pay for our water but because kids left unattended tend to get into trouble.

You know what I'm saying! You get in the shower, wash your hair, shave your legs and arm pits, exfoliate your skin, let the warm water beat down on your back, let the 5 minute miracle conditioner work for an extra 5 minutes and just enjoy the peace and quiet......Ahhhhhhh! So relaxing. Then you get out of the shower to find that not only did your child empty out the brand new gallon of milk in the kitchen floor but now she is pouring flour and quick cooking oats into it. Glad she was paying attention when we made cookies! If only she remembered the bowl. Maybe next time!

Oh yes I have mastered the quick shower. Only shaving one leg a day, washing the hair then immediately plopping some conditioner on my hair and rinsing right away. Exfoliate? yeah right! Did I even use soap today? Please don't judge me! You don't know my daughter!

But, recently I have found that my short showers are not as short as usual and I will tell you why.

My sister-in-law! Yes! YOU!!! (lol)

She bought the toddler these foam letters and numbers for the bath tub! I told her that I was having issues with the toddler at bath time and that it might be a good idea to gift her some bath tub toys for her birthday! So, now, while I'm suppose to be showering with lightening speed.....I'm making words! I'm leaving messages for my husband.........and reminders for myself! I really need to clean the shower thoroughly. Maybe I'll do that the next time I take a shower. Multi-task!

Super Woman



Me and My Mom.....be jealous of our outfits!



I want to take a minute to bring your attention to someone.

The working Mom......Super Woman.

The Mom who is going to school while raising a family, running a household, or working a full time job.

My Mom was a working Mom. She worked 2 jobs most of the time and put herself through school. She was that good. If I can be half the Mom she is to me, my kids will be the luckiest kids in the world. My Mom is like so many other Super Women.

If you know a Super Woman, I want you to do me a favor, tell her that she is doing an amazing job! Let her know that you think what she is doing is great. If you're at her house today, take out her trash! I wish someone would take out mine!

I bring this up because today I was "dealing" with a bit of attitude from my son, thinking.....If I treated my mom like this....I hope I didn't...... I don't think I was a bad kid. Maybe ......Ok..... I was difficult. When I was a teenager I was moody and unhappy for reasons that I couldn't explain. And I can only imagine how that made my Mom feel. I think the way I'm feeling now might be the way she felt then....Oh the stress! On top of me being difficult, she has always taken care of my Granny in one way or another. I think she could've used a break.....or someone to tell her that she was doing a great job and that all of her hard work was going to pay off. She raised me on her own. NO help from my dad. That's a major accomplishment! Way to Go MOM!

There are so many Moms out there doing the same thing. Putting their kids first, putting their own dreams dead last, taking care of their own parents or loved one.  

Please, encourage a Mom today. And If you know my Mom, give her a hug for me. I wish I was closer so I could do it myself. ~Thank you.

Lunchtime

I don't know about you but I am not a fan of Campbell's soup. I use to love their soup! We ate soup and grilled cheese a lot! It was quick and easy and didn't break the bank. I could make each person what they wanted and nobody was unhappy.

BUT, now it just doesn't seem to have any flavor! No matter how much salt I add, it just doesn't taste good to me. The toddler is a fan of anything disney! Of course, Campbell's knows how much every kid loves their disney characters! So, they make these cool soups with the characters in noodle form. We have had several instances where the toddler picks up a can of soup, we get home, I make said soup, she won't eat it! She says it's yucky!

I am not a fan of wasting food! I don't care how wealthy you are! You should not waste food! It has nothing to do with starving kids in Africa. We have enough of them here in the United States! Waste not, want not! So, I stopped buying Campbell's soup! But, Lord knows I had enough in the cupboard! I am a huge fan of Gia Russa soup.....as seen in the picture here. I love the flavor and the bowties are so cute and tastey tastey! It does have a rich flavor and at times I have had to add a little extra water but make your own and adjust according to your taste. If you love chicken soup when you're sick.....this is the best! Add a can of mixed stew style veggies if you want to make it a little heartier!

Anyway, So, today while I'm looking through the pantry I'm thinking "Ugh! We still have a can of that soup left and nobody will eat it.........Light bulb!". It hit me! Hello? Combine the two soups! The toddler will get her fun shapes and the flavor of the tastey soup! And that's what I did. I made the Mia Russa soup according to the directions. At the end I added the Cars soup and half a can of water! She was very happy to see her fun shapes and loved the bow ties too! I even heard her say "Mmmmmm! Tastey Tastey!"