They smell

This is going to be one of those posts where you say to yourself, "What the hell was that all about" and in the end I will tell you so don't get your panties in a bunch half way through. This is probably something you don't want to hear but I'm going to share anyway because I think Moms of little ones, boys in particular, will appreciate it.

When my boys were little I realized that they had this smell to them. It was sweaty socks, potato chips and dirt all mixed together. I tried to mask it when people came to visit, I lit candles and sprayed air freshner. But, I learned to love that smell, call me crazy but I did. It's the truth. Fabreeze only masked the scent and after a while I just stopped trying to cover it up because I realized that it made me feel good. As long as my house smelled like my little boys that meant I was still blessed and nobody had taken them from me yet because I left them standing in the driveway that time. Yeah. I did it. Shoot me. I came back. What do you want from me?

So, anyway, the boys haven't been little in a long time. My youngest is damn near six foot tall and the oldest is right there with him. Did I mention they are sixteen and seventeen? I know! I was five when I had them.

I made the fancy vest...

The holidays are over and they have come home from a visit with their dad. They always show up when I have the house smelling like bleach and Mom, you know that smell. It's pot roast, cookies and fabric softener. No sign of boy at all. But as they started to unpack I realized that they didn't bring that little boy scent with them. Hang on... I need a Kleenex.

Ok. I'm alright. Where did that little boy scent go? Now it smells like hot sauce, axe body spray and sweaty socks. It's a manly smell and no matter how many scented candles and bags of potato chips I open I can't get that little boy smell back.

I want that smell back.

I can't have it though. So, in a few years they'll be moved out and I'll be left with my Mom smell again and when they visit and bring all of their dirty laundry I'll be the freak standing at the washer, crying with my face buried in one of their shirts, sniffing as if it belongs to Tom Hardy.

My point is, stop spraying fabreeze and lighting your scented candles because there is no better smell than little boy.

Time out...

I have no patience at all. Sitting on a beach, waiting for the sun to set has been something I've wanted to do but didn't have the patience to actually sit and do. And honestly, I didn't even take the time to do that when I took this picture. I took it as we were driving by the beach... I didn't even roll my window down.

I think sometimes you just have to stop what you're doing and let everything fall to the wayside. Take the time to sit and appreciate the natural beauty that surrounds you! The setting sun, the kids playing at the park.... don't be the creeper that shows up to the park without a kid though...awkward!

I recently took the time to sit on my back porch/deck to enjoy a cup of coffee. My intentions that morning were simple. Make a pot of coffee, sit on the porch and plan out my sisters baby shower. I do my best planning when I am alone and don't have 10 people shouting/whispering ideas into my ears. I need to sit back and think about why we're having this baby shower. To celebrate life. This is about my sister and her husband, the best couple you'll ever meet and one of the most deserving set of parents in the world. I love them to pieces and want this shower to represent who they are to me.

They are the calm without the storm, a ray of sunshine during the darkest of days and a long traveled somewhat bumpy road. The journey for them to become parents has not been easy and I'm so happy to finally be a part of a special day where friends and family from both sides will gather and show some love.

If you have something on your mind, stress is taking over and you can't think straight sometimes its best to remove yourself from the situation for a bit. I'm not saying that you should pack a bag, hop in your car and run away...although at times that does seem like an exhilarating experience. I'm saying, shut the phone off, make a picnic lunch and head down to the beach and watch the waves come in. Let everything else wait! ME TIME is so important! Try it. If it doesn't work, try again and again.

When my boys were little and I would get overwhelmed I wouldn't always handle it with grace but when I did deal with it.... sounds like one of those pins on pinterest....I don't always keep my cool but when I do it involves chocolate cupcakes! Yeah! That's what I said! I made a batch of chocolate cupcakes and put fancy frosting on them. I listened to music and danced in the kitchen while I baked them. We had a lot of cupcakes!

Sure, when all of the cupcakes were gone and reality set in I still had bills I couldn't pay and people I wanted to punch in the face but I was refreshed and felt more capable of handling the situation without pulling my hair out!

You see what I'm saying? Time out! Breathe! Clear your mind! Back to work!

Anyway, find that thing that simmers the raging inferno of frustration and feed on it when you get stressed. Wait! Maybe that was bad. Don't turn to stress eating to make you feel better! I would never suggest that you use food like that! OK. I'm going now before I encourage you to do something even worse...

They have no idea.

I tell my kids I love them everyday, several times a day. They have no doubt in their mind that I love them. They see the sacrifice and they know it's because they are worth it. But, I don't know if they really no why.

photo by the amazing Anna Marie Pictorials

 I'm suppose to love them. They're my kids. But, it's more than that. There are so many things that set them apart, things that I have fallen in love with over the years. This got me thinking. Do my kids know why I love them?  Does my Mom know why I love her? Does she know what I admire about her? I could write a book about the things that make my Mom a rock star. But, I don't think she knows that or that the kids could tell me what I love about them.

A week ago, I asked my facebook friends how to help teenage girls feel better about themselves. I don't think anyone answered me........lol. I guess everyone was just as clueless. Then I was talking to my best friend who has been in Australia for the last 2 months, away from her children who are here in the states. She's there taking care of her father who is battling Liver Cancer. The doctor gave him about 6 months to live..........a year ago. So, God has blessed them with a little more time together. Anyway, I asked her how things were going. She had a hard time speaking. She was too emotional. It choked me up. See. Jessi lived almost 40 years without knowing her father. Just over 2 years ago they re-united and began the healing process, getting to know one another. And now she is losing him. It is so bittersweet. She sits by his bed and reads the bible to him every day. As she was reading to him that morning he stopped her and said " Jessi Rose, I love you. And I need you to know why I love you so much. I know I'm suppose to love you because you're my flesh and blood. But, it's what is in your heart that I have fallen in love with." And then he rattled off a long list of accomplishments that made him proud of her. Jessi, is a flawed person like me. She's made mistakes. But, she has overcome so much. Her heart is so full of love and she gives so freely. I admire her. She has struggled with low self esteem like many of us. There are things in her past that make her feel unworthy of so much love. When her dad told her all of the reasons why he loves her I think it gave her a boost. All we want is to be loved and for someone to approve of us. Isn't that true?

And that's when I realized.......This is how we teach our children how to feel better about themselves, to have better self esteem. The answer was so obvious it almost makes me feel silly for asking. We have to keep reminding them they are worth it and tell them why we love them. They probably have no idea.

Working It Out

I recently started sweating at the gym with my sister and my cousin. If you read my previous post you know that I did it for various reasons. Most importantly, it was to help myself live longer. I changed my eating habits. Cut out sweets to a certain extent.....I still drink an occasional Mt. Dew with tons of ice. But, one of the perks of this new journey I've set out on......reconnecting with my girls.

I got married in August. When I started planning the wedding I had 4 bridesmaids in mind. When I walked down the aisle I followed only 3. One of my bridesmaids and I grew apart for a short time while I was planning my wedding. She had so much going on in her own life that I didn't feel like her heart was in it and I also didn't agree with the choices she was making. I was wrong to think that my opinion mattered. I'm not saying that as a smart @ss. I am saying, it was not my place to judge. The deadline came to order my wedding flowers. I had to make a choice. Once I put in that order I couldn't take it back. I didn't want my Mom to pay for a bridesmaid bouquet when the bridesmaid didn't even have the dress. So, I had to make a decision. Do I tell my rogue bridesmaid to forget about her commitment or do I say "listen! I'm not happy with the effort you're putting out here! Get your ass in gear and get your friggin' dress!"? I chose to tell her to forget about it. In hind sight, I should've told her I was disappointed (as if anyone wants to hear that they're disappointing you) because I really think she didn't mean to not jump when I asked......lol.....That sounded bridezilla-like. Anyway, you can't go back. So we go forward and repair what we can. Shoulda, Coulda and Woulda!

My cousin, the rogue bridesmaid, is such a sweet heart! She would give you the world if you told her it would make you happy. She also got dealt a crappy hand in her first marriage, suffered some low self esteem and still has trust issues. You gotta love her for pulling through. I couldn't let our relationship fall away. I love the time we have together. So, when the opportunity came up to start working out with her and my sister at the gym, I had to do it. And I'm so happy that I did! It has been so nice to get back on track with her. She is the size of a supermodel, minus the height, so trotting next to her on a treadmill is a bit daunting and I'll be honest there are times when I want to push her off balance. But, overall, it has been the best part of going to the gym!

Not only am I re-connecting with her and my sister. But, I feel so energized afterwards. Talk about a stress reducer! I leave the house and all the stress of the unfinished laundry and housework behind, walk a few miles on the treadmill or pump my legs on the elliptical and when I get home I suddenly don't care anymore! I just feel better! My problems don't disappear........but suddenly I feel like it doesn't matter as much! If you've found yourself in a slump I would highly recommend that you get physical! Get your blood pumping. You never know what you can achieve in the process!

Coming to a Close

I am working on my last 2 lesson plans for my craft class with the teenagers, my "delinquents" as they call themselves.

This will be our last 2 classes ever as a group. I will still see the girls but not as a group. Conflicting schedules, jobs, and school have finally come between us. I knew it would happen eventually, but I didn't think it would be so soon into our time together.

We've done a lot of things together. They've taught me just about as much as I've tried to teach them. I am so thankful that God put them all in my path. I'll miss the light they all bring into my day. When we started out, it was a bit rough. We had to learn how to respect others space, opinions and outlook. For some, it was a welcome change, others......a losing battle. You win some, you lose some.


We've made jewelry, greeting cards, photo booth props, candy, cookies, inspirational signs, Get Well Soon Cards, Christmas ornaments and best of all.......We made friends. The best thing I will bring out of this......new friends.

So, what will we make for our last project?

We're going to make a plan.

When I was their age, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I didn't even know how to figure it out. My youngest student is 15. The oldest is just about to turn 18 and she will be setting out on her own. She has decided to join the military and this summer she will leave for basic training. But until then she plans on working and taking a few classes, learning more about computers. She has a plan. And this all came together in the last 3 months. I am proud of her. My other students are a little nervous. When, Shawn, the soon to be 18 year old, announced her plans, the rest of the girls were happy for her but at the same time they questioned their own future. I remember when I did the same, questioned myself. I struggled. Then I became a Mom. I didn't set out to do anything else besides raise a child. I started and ended with Mom. There was nothing else there.......and I struggled.

That is where I went wrong. Not that being a Mom and a wife was a mistake. But, I stopped there. I found something I could devote my time and attention to. I loved my son and husband so much that I held on tight.......So tight that everything else around me just fell away. I poured my heart and soul into my child and my husband and just let who I was stop. There was nothing else to me, just Mom and wife.

My advice would be, make a plan that revolves around who you are. What makes you YOU? What do you dream about doing? Whatever it is,  Don't think it's a silly dream! Don't let someone tell you that you can't do something! Unless you want to rob a bank or cause bodily harm to someone......probably a good idea to refrain from that! Be Wonder Woman!! Stick to your guns! Don't give up!!

I know for a fact that one of my girls dreams about saving animals. But she can't see past the things in her way. No money for college. No support system outside of foster care and myself. Obstacles. She's too young to see around those things. She isn't sure how to get around them. (It's going to take a lot of hard work to get to where you want to be but, it's worth it) This is why this generation needs mentoring. We have knowledge. Lessons Learned, right up here in my head. In my heart I know these girls are destined to do great things. Audrey, my short little friend, who has no idea what she wants to do, she's just afraid to try! Failure doesn't exist if you try! That is how I see it. If you try and things don't work out the way you thought......Well, then it's time for plan B. That's not failure to me. If you don't put your self out there, you have failed yourself. I am writing this post because there are so many young people today that don't have a plan and I think they need help. I don't expect them to have it all figured out. But, we can at least point them in the right direction. Help them solve the problems, get over the hurdles. Give them that confidence boost that they need. We all need a boost now and agian. Don't be afraid to reach out! I'm all about paying it forward!

Yes GOD, you were right!

Every once in a while I have to be reminded that life is not as bad as it could be and that I need to embrace it as it is. This is my theory. God sends me messages........please don't think I'm nuts.....well, actually I do tend to fall of my rocker occasionally. But this time, it's a legit belief! I've messed up my back, need physical therapy. But let's rewind a bit to the beginning of December. I was stressed beyond belief over finances, not being able to find a job that will work around my MOM schedule (driving the kids to and from school, taking care of the toddler without employing a daycare) and feeling FAT (I've gained a bit of weight in the past few months, about 20 lbs!!!) So, I was feeling like life was not where I needed it to be. I started doing a little walking with the toddler, dancing around the house more, ignored the fact that we couldn't even afford the everyday essentials and focused on the reasons that employers might find to not hire me and tried to improve on them. I was looking at a half full glass. No more half emptiness for me! Then I woke up one day and thought "Hmmmm, my back is a little stiff!" As the days went by the stiffness turned to pain. And by christmas I was miserable and ironically as I type this I'm listening to the acoustic version of Marroon 5 singing Misery..."I am in Misery, ain't nobody who can comfort me"...........bahaha!, not being able to move for fear that my back would spasm. I was eating advil like they were skittles (taste the rainbow.....sorry, I can't say skittles without saying that.....doh! Taste the rainbow!) Anyhooo, So, to GOD I say, Yes, I realize my life could be worse, thank you for reminding me. But is there any chance I could possibly get the use of my legs back anytime soon? If that's asking too much could I just be able to put on my own pants without crying? I have a kitchen full of pots and pans, food that hasn't been put back in it's place for a month. I'd love to be able to do that without asking for help. Or maybe that's the point of all of this. You want me to ask for help.............this could be a problem. I don't want help. I want to do it myself. I guess sometimes you just have to welcome help when it's offered. I don't have to like it though. But I am grateful. And a special thanks goes out to Adam Levine for singing me to sleep last night! You totally relaxed me.........ahhhh! The husband seemed to sleep better too!

Bring on the New Year!

Go for a bike ride in 2012!!!

I am ready for 2012! I never got use to writing "2011". So why not just get right into 2012? This past year I didn't have any resolutions. So, this year I'm going to set a few goals for myself to work towards. I don't like the idea of giving up things as a New Years Resolution. People will promise to stop smoking. They'll join a gym and give up sweets or vow to change their ways, give up cussing. But, I think you should work toward gaining something. Pick up a good habit instead of getting rid of a bad one. For me, it's easier to start doing something instead of stop doing something! Make sense?

I've made a lot of promises to myself in the past few years and I am proud to say I've kept the promises I've made......for the most part. I always have room to improve! And now that I have proved to myself that I can to it, I might as well keep going. So, in 2012, these are a few of my goals:

Start my childrens book......I've always wanted to write a childrens book.

Have a girls night out!........Me, the girls, dinner which I will not be cooking, a glass of wine and a movie or a trip to the karaoke bar. NO kids! Home after 10 pm.

A date night with my husband!!! We haven't been to dinner alone in a year or more! Gasp! We didn't even have a honeymoon!

Start a quilt. Notice I say "Start". I am not handy with a sewing machine. This is something I will be needing assistance with. Or maybe I should just do it my way, learn as I go!

Exercise more. And at this point, walking to the mailbox each day would be more activity than what I have going on now. Sad but true.

Start a garden! I'd save a fortune on my grocery bill!

Get a[nother] tattoo. Nothing major just 2 words to remind me of where I've been.

Avoid a guest spot on "What Not To Wear" on TLC........I am one pair of yoga pants away from being on that show, I swear I need to step up my game! My Mom bought me make up when I got married. I think it's time to start wearing it. I use to never leave the house without earrings. Time to revive that habit! Act like I give a crap!

Start the cookbook my Mom and I plan on working on.....In a way, I've kind of started already! I've been stockpiling the recipes that she has passed down to me. They are safely tucked away in my dresser drawer, the dresser drawer that I can't open. It's stuck!  

So, there it is. I have 12 months to accomplish these things. I don't think any of the things I've listed are out of my reach! Tomorrow is New Years Eve. I'll be playing Jenga with the kids and the husband, eating a spaghetti dinner and reminiscing over all of the things we've overcome in the past year or two. In other words, I will be playing it safe, staying off the roads and away from the drunk drivers! Hope you have a safe but memorable start to the new year! And remember to set realistic goals!

Hazelnut Mocha Bundt Cake

I swore that the crinkle cookies I posted before Christmas would be the last sweet recipe I would post til at least February! Well, I guess I lied. Because here I am, posting this recipe and it's not even January yet!

I was blessed with 2 amazing sister-in-laws! Thank you God! And this Christmas they both helped make the holiday a little better for my children and one of them gave me a gift I've always wanted..........a fancy bundt pan! I'm serious. I have wanted a bundt pan for a very long time. I don't know what it is about a bundt cake. Maybe it's the fact that they don't need fancy frosting or decorative flowers. The shape alone is fancy enough (to me).

Look at that Hazelnut Chocolate Ganache topping! Mmmmm

So, anyway, I made this bundt cake today with the help of my son. I've hurt my back and actually couldn't lift the bowl of cake mix to pour into the pan let alone whisk the ingredients together. He's a life saver! But, this is an easy cake to make. I have been staying away from packaged cake mixes lately, devoting myself to made from scratch cakes and I'm finding that it's actually fun to measure things and follow a recipe. Speaking of recipe.....here it is!

1 (12 oz) bag semi sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup Nutella plus 3 tablespoons
3/4 cup canola oil
1 cup sugar
1 lg egg
2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 table spoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup very strong coffee
1 cup buttermilk

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Spray your fancy Bundt pan with non stick spray. I was generous with my spray.
2. In a small sauce pan, melt about 1/4 cup of your chocolate chips over low heat. Stir constantly! Adding your 3 tablespoons of nutella as you go. Once your chocolate is melted pour into a mixing bowl to cool slightly. Make sure you scrape the sides of the pan and get all of the tastey goodness out!
3. Meanwhile, sift your flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt into a separate bowl. Or you can whisk it all together. I like to use my sifter.
4. Now, back to your melted chocolate......whisk in the oil and sugar into your chocolate mixture until smooth. Then add in your egg. Once you have that all mixed add half of your flour mixture and half of the buttermilk and coffee. Mix until smooth and add in the rest of the flour mixture and buttermilk and coffee.
5. Pour your beautiful batter into your bundt pan and bake in the preheated oven for about 40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Once the cake is done, place it on a wire rack to cool for about 8-10 minutes. Do not flip your pan yet!

6. While your cake is cooling enough to flip.......place the remainder of your chocolate chips in your saucepan, melt on low heat. Make sure to stir constantly! As it's melting add your 1/2 cup of Nutella. You can also add a tablespoon of canola oil to the chocolate mixture if you need to loosen it up a bit. When your chocolate is all melted, remove from heat and allow to thicken up a bit. While this is happening, you can flip your cake out of the pan onto your cake plate or whatever you plan on serving the cake on.

Now that you have your cake out of the pan you can pour your chocolate ganache onto your cake! There's no wrong way to do this! Just let it drizzle all over your cake! No need to smear it around. Just let it slide down the sides and look beautiful!

I used very strong coffee for my recipe! You don't have to use strong coffee if you don't want to! It will taste wonderful either way! And I would also like to say that if you're not a Nutella fan, you don't have to use the Nutella at all! You don't even have to substitute anything, just don't use it! But if you didn't know it was in there, you probably wouldn't be able to pick out the taste! The outer edges of this cake has a nice crunch to it while the inside was super moist! I am not ashamed to say that I ate 2 chunks of this cake! Tomorrow when I get up I'll have a small slab with a steaming hot cup of coffee! Breakfast of champions!

Best Pork Chops Ever!

I have recently started using my crock pot again. I bought a new one a few years ago when I was pregnant and craving bean soup, used it once and then hid it away in the cupboard, never to be seen again. Then I got busy.  Making a good meal was becoming difficult to squeeze in to the schedule. Plus, I have days where the little bit of motivation I have goes into laundry and straightening my hair. So, I don't want to cook. For some reason though I don't see cooking in the crock pot as putting out a lot of effort! Maybe it's just me.

I put the word out that I was looking for some tastey crock pot recipes. A friend of mine messaged me that she had the best pork chop recipe that I should try. She told me it was called Ranch house pork chops. I looked it up on pinterest and indeed.....the tastey pork chops were everywhere! It seems she isn't the only one that thinks the recipe is worth sharing. I changed her recipe up a bit though. Hers calls for real potatoes that you place in the crock pot with the chops. My family is more of a fake mashed tater family. So, I buy the pouches of mashed potatoes where you just add water! That's pretty simple.

I actually had 3 ingredients to throw in the crock pot:

Yes! I'm the frugal Mom who buys the clearance meat.....

Pork Chops.....I used 8! Boneless because I don't like the bones....Duh!  

1 10oz can Cream of CELERY soup

1 packet Ranch Dip mix

I tossed the pork chops in the crock pot, mixed the soup and Ranch mix together in a bowl. Then poured the soup mix over the chops. Place the lid on the pot, set at low and at my 4 hour mark I tested the chops. They were done. Practically falling apart! The gravy this made was absolutely wonderful! I turned the crock pot off and left the lid off while I made my cheater mashed potatoes and a side of broccoli. You won't see any broccoli on the plate in the picture because by the time I got around to making a plate to photograph the green trees were all gone! I'm considering growing my own next year! We go through a lot of broccoli!

I can tell you right now that I will be making this recipe often. Maybe playing around with it a little. I'm thinking that brussel sprouts would be darn tastey cooked in the soup and ranch mix! You could even make this with chicken instead of pork if you wanted! What is your favorite crock pot recipe!? Please share!

Blue Christmas

I know for many people the holidays are an emotional time. Carrying on holiday traditions without a loved one we've lost can be difficult. I lost an aunt who I was very close to  years ago and her favorite time of the year, besides her birthday, was Christmas. The whole month of December actually! She was our  family Santa! She was the most giving person I had ever known. Each year she wanted to be the one to give you the best present ever and every year we always figured out what she was getting us before Christmas day rolled around. She always gave it away! It was so much fun though, to see how giving to other  people brought her so much joy! It was one of her best qualities. Her last Christmas was the best. She was finally able to surprise someone! She bought my Mom a very nice camera. I couldn't believe she was able to keep it a secret. It made her so happy! I can still hear her squealing with delight over it! She passed away a short time later. I guess God wanted her to have that moment before she left us.

I had a hard time finding any joy in Christmas after that. But I realized that she would want us to carry on with the celebration. So, I got involved with the Angel tree at the local mall and gave to Toys for Tots. No child should go without at Christmas. My aunt would be happy knowing that we were giving to others this time of year. But with the economy it's hard to do now. I've talked to a few folks lately that have found themselves on the other side of the Angel tree this year. It's sad. One year you're dropping off presents to a charity and the next year you're picking up presents.  Christmas isn't always a joyful time of year for everyone. It's hard enough to pay the bills. Putting presents under the tree is a struggle. I know it's less than a week til Christmas day and times are tough. But if you find yourself in the position to give to a stranger this year, find your local Angel tree or Toys for Tots, and do what you can. Please. If you know an adult who is struggling to put food on the table please donate food. A good meal can mean the world to some folks. With heating bills climbing and the price of gas......it's hard for some to stay with their head above water. Can you imagine going to the grocery store, gathering the things on your list which is the bare minimum and finding out you miscalculated and don't have enough money to cover your bill. You have to choose what to put back on the shelf! Do you put back the toilet paper, the Milk or the generic laundry soap? One look at your hungry children tells you it won't be the milk. It's a tough spot to be in. Please. Help a family out this year if you can. Every little bit helps! You never know when you're going to be in that same position, in need of holiday cheer.

3 yrs. 1 month 2 weeks 3 days

The toddler is officially 3 years 1 month 2 weeks and 3 days old. If I was a lotto player I would play those numbers. My sweet little baby girl is not a baby anymore. But you know your kids will always be your baby! Right? I am amazed at the things she knows now! She loves to sing and gets most of the words right! She counts! She knows the difference between a circle, a triangle and a square! She knows that McDonald's does not close! So, I can't use the excuse that McDonald's is closed when we drive by and she voices her need for nuggets! She knows that Nana bought her the RIO dvd that she loves so much, her owl jammies, her princess jammies and she also knows Nanas ring tone on my phone! Carrie Underwood starts singing "Jesus take the wheel" and she says "Mama, Nana calling!". She's so smart!

When she was 2 we noticed that she wasn't speaking as much as other children her age. She would say "Dad" and "dog" and a few other short words but she had never said the one word I was longing to hear.....Mama!  I was worried that she might not have full function of her ears. I don't know why. We always used the excuse that she was never around kids her age or she didn't need to speak because she has 2 older brothers that speak for her. She never had to verbalize her wants or needs because everyone was so attentive and she never had to ask for anything since we were always one step ahead. Or could've been because she was very attached to her pacifier......I'm not proud of that.  But, I knew I needed a second opinion. Her pediatrician was no help at all. She always told me to give her time. Be patient. It didn't make me feel any better. I wanted to feel proactive. So, I called an old teacher of my sons who knew a thing or two about toddlers with delays since she is the mother of a son who had serious delays. She heard my story and pointed me in the right direction, telling me that I should always go with my gut when it comes to my kids. That is advice I fully believe in!

I called the Berrien RESA, a local educational service agency. Again, I told my story and the woman I talked to set up an appointment in my home with a speech therapist. She came out and evaluated my daughter. And just as I thought, she was not up to speed. She did show a significant delay in speech but excelled in other areas. So, every other week the speech therapist came to the house to work with my daughter and give me tips on how to help her. In the beginning it made me feel totally inadequate as a parent because the games the speech therapist would play with her were kind of common sense things that I should've came up with on my own, or so I thought. But then she explained to me that as a Mom with a full house and a full schedule it isn't always easy to see the things that are as plain as day to others, even when it has to do with our own children. SO, I swallowed my pride, got over it and got proactive with the situation.

The whole family had to get involved in this program. My daughters main problem was that she refused to verbalize what she wanted or what was bothering her. She did a lot of pointing and grunting. Most of the time everyone would give in and give her what she wanted because she would become so agitated and outraged. That had to stop! She had to start using her words and stop screaming when she didn't get her way. I won't lie! It was awful! She is a persistent little booger! Very stubborn! Many times, it ended in her screaming and me crying because I just couldn't  take the stress of her breakdown. But, I learned to stand  my ground! After a while I would just calmly explain to her that she needed to start using her words and help Mama figure out what she wanted. Oh! She would still scream but after a while my calmness won her over and she began to verbalize what she wanted. Positive re-inforcement and patience were our best tools. 

I will never forget the first time she said "Mama". I was laying in bed, with a horrible cold.  My daughter walked up to the side of the bed and put her hand on my face and said "Mama". Oh! I was so happy! I felt rejuvenated in my efforts with her. So, I kept on going, reading to her and playing word games with her until she was spouting out words left and right! One day she screamed dinasour in the middle of the store when she saw a T-Rex toy and I was so proud I did a dance! Dinasour is a big word!! Especially for a kid who just started to say words like "Cup, Mama, ball, car!"...... She still isn't at the same level as other kids her age  but she is making headway everyday and is  far beyond our expectations in other areas. I'm proud of her and I am also proud of our family for pulling together and tackling this issue. I'm so thankful to the speech therapist who worked so hard with us! I don't know what I would've done without her help!

Don't be afraid to ask for help! Ever! If you think that your child is lacking in some areas or feel that something isn't right, get help! Find it where you can! I know from first hand experience that doctors aren't always helpful, if you feel you need to do more........reach out! Let your family help you work through it. Put your heads together to figure it all out! Work together as a family. You don't always have to tackle things alone MOMS!

Another birthday

My cousin~ Big Al~ Putting the  "Happy" in Birthday!

It's not my birthday.

Don't panic. You didn't forget.

It's my Granny's birthday. I can't tell you how old she is. It's not a secret. I just quit counting at 60! She probably did too. When you get to be a certain age you just don't keep track.....well, at least I don't. I stopped counting my own years at 29. That was a few years ago.......or so. I think when you become as socially inactive as I am, you stop keeping track because you don't really go out and celebrate it anymore.You're not presented with a cake and a million candles to remind you of your age.  When is the last time you blew out a candle on your own birthday cake?

The last time I had my very own birthday cake is probably one of my fondest memories of my ex husband. I don't mean any disrespect to my husband now. But, It's true. There's this local bakery that makes a delicious cake. My ex knew how much I loved their cake. So he ordered a cake for my birthday. It was beautifully decorated with the prettiest icing flowers and swirly vines. It had my name on it. It meant a lot to me. It tasted as good as it looked. I think I might've gained a few pounds that year. Anyway, I think as parents we tend to overlook our own birthdays and hope that someone else will take the initiative to plan a celebration. The kids usually don't take it upon themselves to plan a party. Or maybe you're not the celebrating type. I for one, do not like to go to a resteraunt and have the waiters show up and sing happy birthday to me. I try to pretend that they are singing to someone else at the table. I find nothing wrong with a tastey birthday cake shared with family at home. NO candles. Let's just cut the darn thing and eat it! I don't need you to sing to me! Just a high five will do! Maybe a "Congrats on making it another year".

I guess when you get to be my Grannys age and you've outlived some of your kids, it might be hard to celebrate. But, let's try to celebrate the good times and our many accomplishments. Carry those with us. Let the bad things stay where they are. Close that book, learn that lesson and just keep trucking. So, to my Granny, Happy Birthday young lady! I love you so very much! Thank you for teaching me the right way to vaccum and do dishes, even though I still do it my way! I know we don't always agree but we can at least agree on that! If I was there I would plan a party for you and the toddler would sing happy birthday. She's practicing! Although, I think she has come up with a mix of Happy Birthday and Jingle Bells.......but it works! And here's a little advice. If you're faced with a cake full of birthday candles this year and can't muster the wind to blow them out, excuse yourself, grab the blow dryer, plug it in and blow those suckers out before they drip all over the cake! :)

TMI

I was recently in a conversation with an old friend who I keep up with on facebook. He caught me online yesterday and pulled me into chat. He asked what I've been up to. But before I could answer he said "Nevermind! All I need to do is look at your wall here on fb and see what you do every hour of the day!". Then he proceeded to give me sh!t about it.

First of all, I don't post every single hour of the day! And second, I do believe people care what I do. Otherwise I wouldn't have so many people reading my blog (granted I am my only follower......but people read it!). And let me tell you, if I don't post to my blog, I hear from people. If you don't want to see what I'm doing each day, there's a simple solution. You don't have to be my friend or you don't have to read it.

I post things about my children...... a lot! They are my life. I post about my craft class but not very often or in detail.  I post about things that irritate me. Because being easily irritated is one of my many traits. I post about music I like, movies I want to see, things that make me laugh, people who inspire me and occasionally I will share a recipe. These are things you share with your friends. I don't post anything I wouldn't say to a friend. I post often because I am a social person taking advantage of a social NETWORK. I don't have a job outside of the home that gives me social time. My outside social time consists of interacting with the cashier at the grocery store or the teenage girls I mentor at my craft class! I spend the majority of my time at home, alone, with a toddler. Please excuse me if I reach out to my friends on facebook to share a random thought. But, Thank you to those of you who do understand that I am a little nutty at times and do share a bit more often than most folks. I do appreciate all of you. You've helped me through some very hard times in my life.

An emotional week

I'm not sure if there are many women who would say that they haven't had an emotional week at one point in time. Maybe you wake up one day in a good mood but on the way to work a song on the radio sparks an old feeling and sets you in a downward spiral into the abyss of depression. No matter what you do, you just cannot shake the feeling. A commercial on TV or a movie playing on the TLC. Whatever it is, you get sucked in by it. You can tell yourself that you have no reason at all to be in this mood but it won't work. For some reason you are destined to break down and cry at least once a day. Count your blessings and you still can't look past whatever it is that haunts you!

Been there. Done that. I usually call my Mom or my best friend, whom I affectionately refer to as stripper. At least one of them has the right words. But sometimes, they have more reasons to be melancholy than I do. So I just call to hear their reasons. This week when I found myself crying over a diaper commercial I called Stripper.

Stripper has a lot on her plate right now. She has spent the last year reconnecting with her father who is battling cancer. She has a boat load of kids, most of them her own and a busy husband. I figured I would call and let her side track me from my silliness. But, she has that way of knowing when I've misplaced my muchness and she calls me out. I explain my problem to her and she says.......

"Throw it in the trash!"

Me: Ummmm? huh?

Her: (very matter of factly she says) Write your problem or complaint on a piece of paper and toss it in the trash.

Me: I don't think that will make me feel better.

Her: Ok! Then put the toddler in the car, drive to McDonalds, order a cone and when you give the lady your money, slip your piece of paper in with your money and drive away!

Me: [imagining the look on the cashiers face, Stripper in her giant SUV with 8 kids.......] Have you tried this before?

Her: No! I flush mine down the toilet!

Me: Won't that clog your toilet eventually?

Her: Hasn't so far! I look at it this way. There's always someone out there who has it way worse and just as soon as you stop believing that, you'll find it out the hard way. Don't waste your time on the things that don't matter. Stop reading from that chapter. It already happened. It's time for the next book already! And if Frank ever mentions that the toilet is acting up, you don't know squat!

Me: That's for sure!

The moral of the story is......if you happen to work at my local McDonalds and one day you get a piece of paper that says "My toilet is clogged up and I don't have 2 pennies to rub together!", well, sorry! I had to do something. And like Stripper says "focus on the things that matter!" If you keep focusing on the things that cause the grief you need a swift kick. Everybody line up behind me! I'm first in line!

The Zombie Plan

I don't know about you but I like to use the time I spend with family at the holidays productively! Cut the chit chat and get right on down to business! I know your job sucks! I know your kids are over achievers and haven't missed a day of school in EVER! Your wife birthed all of your children naturally unless you count the un-natural screaming coming from her contorted body! Sorry about calling the exorcist! I really thought I was helping! And yes, you have already told me that you went coyote hunting with Dick Cheney and lived to tell about it! Congrats! Now let's talk about something important!

YOUR ZOMBIE PLAN!!!

I am totally kidding!

You don't have a zombie plan? What? That is crazy talk! You really should be prepared! I have secretly been training my boys to fight zombies! They think it's just a cool video game but honestly it's just a top secret training device! I am certain that when zombies do attack and our Twinkie supplies are completely depleted, we will be forced to use our noggins to fight them off and my boys will lead the fight with stealth, intelligence and lots of ammo.....right after we hit up the gun store! I've began stock piling supplies! I have 4 jars of pickles, a can of instant coffee, a package of D batteries, flash lights, glow sticks, coloring books, crayons, all seasons of Sons of Anarchy, band aids, bug spray and 400 gallon jugs for water hidden in the shed. I still have to put water in the jugs but since we pay for our water I'm having a hard time with that! I will keep working on it. 

Ohhhhhhh! Seriously! I'm kidding! I was just getting tired of cousin Tom. Yak! Yak! Do you ever find yourself in the position where you're facing off with that family member that has to go on and on about how great his or her life is, or how great their spouse or kids are? Do you ever just want to say "Oh! Yeah!? Well, I saved $345 on my car insurance?" Really, we don't get together at the holidays to hear cousin TOM verbally pat himself on the back for being a douche bag! We get together to give thanks for our many blessings! Let us be humble this holiday season and give thanks that cousin TOM might be humble too!