An Inspiration To Us All

I am looking for people who have chased down a dream! My plan is to share stories of people who have followed their heart and made a dream of their own come true or you can throw someone else out there if you know someone who has followed a dream. Maybe you decided when you were a kid that you wanted to rescue animals and when you grew up you made it happen. Or maybe you wanted to cross ballroom dancing or become a ninja off of your list! I want to hear about it and share inspirational stories with others. If you're game please leave a comment! If not fine..... I will hunt people down myself! I have a few victims in mind already! Mwahaha!

Snowy day

Just wanted to share of a picture of my backyard for my southern readers. Doesn't it look beautiful?

Barbies & iphones

I don't know who is more excited. My daughter or myself. See, today she got her very first Barbie doll and I got an iPhone. I do not spend money on myself. There is always something else I think I could spend the money on for the kids. When my husband mentioned getting an iPhone I told him we should wait......well I don't know what I was thinking because Ilove this phone! I can't even see straight from browsing apps! I am completely hooked on angry birds although my daughter is better than me! If you have an iPhone what is your favorite app?

Falling off the wagon

This diet thing isn't working for me. I go from one extreme to the other. I either can't stop eating or I don't eat at all. This is not a healthy place to be for me or my family. I would like to point out that I lost 4 pounds by cutting out most of my sugar intake and becoming more active. But, lately I've been lost in writer mode. Well, I should say "pretend" writer mode. As I've been told that I am not a real writer. Anyway, when I am spewing words onto paper I tend to ignore my stomach. I will go all day without eating. Bad idea.

You know how they say "I'm sorry for the things I said out of hunger"......Well, that's me. I get dangerously hungry and I get mean. The snickers commercials pretty much sum it up for me. Sometimes I think I could take out an entire army if I was starved long enough. Of course, in reality I would curl up in the fetal position and call the army bad names. But, you get the point.

So, here I am........drinking my 3rd Mt. Dew of the day. Bad!!! Yesterday I lost track of how much pop I had. And to think I was doing so good. I knew it would happen but, I didn't think I would be so forgiving. I think I should be harder on myself! I'll never reach my goal weight if I keep giving myself free passes.

Losing weight is another one of those times when I think it's important to have a support group to keep you in line. It's like co-parenting. It's always good to have someone there to tell you your threats are unrealistic or to back you up when your teenager asks to get a tattoo and you can't decide if it's a good idea. Thank God you have a support group there to tell you "I think you're making the right decision. Now put down the donut and Mt. Dew before I hurt you.".

Could someone please give me a boost? I can't seem to get back on this wagon!!

Tell them off gently

Like many women, I struggle with my self esteem issues........that and keeping my mouth shut. Recently, I decided to start checking things off of my bucket list. I've checked quite a few things off of my list. But, most of the things were easy, not a big deal. I thought, You know, I need to set a better example for my kids. Let them know that no dream is too small or too silly to chase. So, I picked something off of my list that I knew might make a few people say "What?".

So, I am chasing down my dream of becoming a published writer. I have no formal education at all. But, Years ago, I started a book. I've told that story. Lately, I have been putting a lot of energy into a new book. I've neglected my house work, made quicker easier meals just so I can spend a little more time on my writing. And yes, I've neglected the blog a bit. I'm sorry. You understand, right? So, anyway, I am working on this book. I don't tell too many people that I dream of someday talking about how happy I am to see my book on the top 100 list on amazon. I just keep it to myself. But, I ran into an old co-worker a few days ago and while we were talking she peeped the giant notebook in my purse and asked if I was back in school, as if I was ever really "IN" school to begin with. I told her no. She said "Well, what are you doing with that notebook, writing a book?". I said "Well, as a matter of fact I am!"...........She laughed and said "Really?" as if it was absolutely the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard. I said "Sure. Why not. I want to inspire someone and I think putting a story together that will inspire someone is a good idea.". She told me that "real writers" work for years to get published blah blah. I stopped listening when she insinuated that I was not a real writer. Sure. I didn't go to school to learn how to tell a story. But, there is a story in me and I'm gonna tell it whether she wants to be supportive or not.

They say a hater will hate. I don't know if she was hating on me or not but I became so defensive. I was almost a blubbering idiot! I said "You can laugh and try to convince me that I can't do this but, it's my dream and I want to do this bad enough that I won't let your negativity sway me. I want to set an example for my kids."...........She shrugged her shoulders and said "When I was younger, I wanted to be a tour guide in Paris." ........I said "Well, why don't you do that then?".......She told me it was a silly dream.

I don't think it's a silly dream. There's a man in California that dreams of covering his entire body with green ink tattoos. He wants to look like a lizard. Is it a silly dream? Who cares. It isn't our place to judge. I use to think that to dream meant to be young and adventurous. It's not. To dream to is to think beyond the labels we are given by our kids and others. I'm thinking beyond "Mama", beyond "Wife". I'm thinking about who I am as an individual. This is my dream and I'm going to chase it down like a Kardashian chases down a basketball player!

What do you dream of doing?

Get a Theme Song

Do you suffer from severe negativity? Do your facebook status updates read like a broken record, reporting over and over that your life sucks and you're tired of being used and unhappy? Well, YOU my friend need to get a theme song!

I have a theme song!

And when I'm out and about, picking the kids up, grocery shopping or at home doing my thing I'm imagining that this song is playing! If they made a movie of my life this song would definitely be playing at some point in the movie!

I think a song can set the mood. If you watch the Ultimate Fighter competitions you'll notice that the fighters make their way to the octagon while a song blasts over the PA system. The fighter or his manager or whoever picks a song that will set the mood or simply say "I'm a bad ass MO FO! And I'm going to put my knee in your eye socket!".

So, do you see what I'm saying? If you have a theme song to keep you motivated or positive you might be happier. Stop letting other people influence your mood and take your happiness into your own hands by choosing your own theme song. Heck, I have an entire soundtrack! I listen to it all the time. Sometimes I have to change it up a bit and add new songs as they come out but, I keep a positive stream of music playing to keep my mood out of the ditch!

You are the master of your own universe! You can choose to do the things that make you happy or you can depend on others to make you happy. But, I'll tell you this........That person can take off in a heartbeat and then you're left not knowing how to make yourself happy!

What's your THEME SONG?

The best place to be kicked out of.....

I've been kicked out of restaurants. I've been kicked out of the mens bathroom.......It was an honest mistake! Really! Who wants to be in a men's bathroom anyway? But, the best place I've been kicked out of is My Own Bed!

These are the things that keep me smiling. Throughout the day my daughter and I fight back and forth about various things. She's three. I'm old enough to know better. I'm the Mama! I'm the boss here! But, despite this motto I have yet to convince her that I wear the big crown in this house and she is a Queen in training! Bathtime is not a pleasant experience but it is neccesary when she has food in her hair. Bath time brings on a lot of crying and begging (on my part) and then I have to use force. She's a little stronger than I remember her brothers being at her age. Most of the time I end up with just as much soap and water on me as she has on her. The problem with that, I'm already in the clothes I'm planning to wear for the day. A lesson learned I guess. She doesn't like to wear certain things. She has a style of her own. So, getting dressed can sometimes turn into a diva moment and I don't tolerate it very well. "Get dressed or you'll be naked when we pick up your brothers." I know it sounds harsh but, I am not a fan of being bullied by my own daughter. Sometimes it feels like she is bullying me though. I sit her down and calmly explain to her that she hurt my feelings when she screamed at me and that I understand that she wants to wear her favorite shirt for the 4th day in a row but the yogurt stain on it is starting to take on healing qualities and I think it needs to be harvested in the wash. She just doesn't understand or care. She puts her hand over my mouth and says "Enough". It's a never ending battle. But then there's always a moment or two when she does something that just makes my heart sing. A random hug. Or moments like tonight when I come to bed and find her not only in my bed but in my spot........with a sales paper and a flashlight. I asked her if I could have my spot back and she looks up and says "Nope." ..............Gotta love her!

They have no idea.

I tell my kids I love them everyday, several times a day. They have no doubt in their mind that I love them. They see the sacrifice and they know it's because they are worth it. But, I don't know if they really no why.

photo by the amazing Anna Marie Pictorials

 I'm suppose to love them. They're my kids. But, it's more than that. There are so many things that set them apart, things that I have fallen in love with over the years. This got me thinking. Do my kids know why I love them?  Does my Mom know why I love her? Does she know what I admire about her? I could write a book about the things that make my Mom a rock star. But, I don't think she knows that or that the kids could tell me what I love about them.

A week ago, I asked my facebook friends how to help teenage girls feel better about themselves. I don't think anyone answered me........lol. I guess everyone was just as clueless. Then I was talking to my best friend who has been in Australia for the last 2 months, away from her children who are here in the states. She's there taking care of her father who is battling Liver Cancer. The doctor gave him about 6 months to live..........a year ago. So, God has blessed them with a little more time together. Anyway, I asked her how things were going. She had a hard time speaking. She was too emotional. It choked me up. See. Jessi lived almost 40 years without knowing her father. Just over 2 years ago they re-united and began the healing process, getting to know one another. And now she is losing him. It is so bittersweet. She sits by his bed and reads the bible to him every day. As she was reading to him that morning he stopped her and said " Jessi Rose, I love you. And I need you to know why I love you so much. I know I'm suppose to love you because you're my flesh and blood. But, it's what is in your heart that I have fallen in love with." And then he rattled off a long list of accomplishments that made him proud of her. Jessi, is a flawed person like me. She's made mistakes. But, she has overcome so much. Her heart is so full of love and she gives so freely. I admire her. She has struggled with low self esteem like many of us. There are things in her past that make her feel unworthy of so much love. When her dad told her all of the reasons why he loves her I think it gave her a boost. All we want is to be loved and for someone to approve of us. Isn't that true?

And that's when I realized.......This is how we teach our children how to feel better about themselves, to have better self esteem. The answer was so obvious it almost makes me feel silly for asking. We have to keep reminding them they are worth it and tell them why we love them. They probably have no idea.

Pep in my step

I am one of those Moms who always makes sure the kids have thier haircut, going 6 months or more without making an appointment to get my own hair cut. I buy new mascara once every year or so and never indulge in the name brand body wash. I'm not sure if I would call myself a cheapskate........I'm frugal.

But, there's something about a new hairstyle and a fresh zap of color to make you feel good! Add a little lip gloss and some extra eyeliner and it puts a little pep in your step. When's the last time you had that? Maybe you should call the hair guru and make an appointment. I've been seeing my hair maven for about........let me do the math.....might have to use the fingers and toes........it's been about 13 years! Wow! She must've started cutting hair while she was still in Middle School! She isn't old enough!

This please!

So, I've known her for a long time now and I love her to death. I'll tell you why. She's fun and she listens. Yeah. I know, she probably doesn't have a choice but I'm not talking about when I'm rambling on and on and on about whatever it is that has my time occupied. I mean, when I tell her "I need something new!", She hears what I'm saying and says Ok, look for a picture. Which translates into, get on pinterest and find a hairstyle you like and we'll take it from there. If the style won't work for me she will let me know. I think good communication is VERY important when you're putting your hair in someone else's hands. If you have shoulder length kinky curly hair and you take a picture of Jennifer Lopez to your stylist and tell her you want that look and that stylist says "OK!"..........Honey, you have a problem! Unless she's slapping a wig or a weave on your hair, you better run! See, my stylist would've said "Yeah. Ok. where's the real picture?" because she knows that my hair will never look like that! She's going to be honest with me 

Here I am, desperately in need of some rejuvenation. I don't want a massage. I don't want a pedicure. I don't want an energy drink. I want to get my hair did! So, I'm going to make an appointement to have a cut and color. This time I am trying a new cut and I'm not skurd at all. I will gladly give up the ugly ponytail I've been sporting lately. I had a job interview yesterday and even though my clothes said "Professional" my hair said "I don't have time to give a crap". I don't want to look like that anymore. And when I drop the 15 pounds I'm trying to lose, I'm going to go out and buy myself a new outfit to go with my hair and new mascara. Watch out now! ;)

Keep Your Head Up & Your Mouth Shut

Recently I recieved an email from a friend who is going through a divorce. She asked me how I got through it without harming anyone. I literally laughed out loud and then I typed....

"I didn't."

The truth is, I hurt a few people when I was going through my break-up. I didn't throw anyone to the ground, wrap my arms around thier neck and squeeze til they tapped out. Now that I think about it, I had enough rage to do that to someone. But, I didn't physically hurt anyone.

NO. I used words.

I was so angry with my ex-husband, the father of my children that I couldn't see straight. Did I channel that negativity at him? No. I let everyone else have it. Cousins, friends, co-workers, cashiers. I did not discriminate. Don't misunderstand. My ex felt my wrath. But, mostly I kept it to a minimum to save my kids.

My friend replied:

"I am doing the same thing and I don't like myself for it. But, I can't stop."

Oh! I understand that completely! I've said it before, it's as if a demon has taken over your body and you can't control the anger. But, I'll tell you. It will fade away if you stop holding on to it and stop looking for things to fuel the fire. Let it go. If you're on pinterest you've seem the motivational posts, "Let your past make you better, not Bitter!". Well, that's what you have to do. Take the experience and use it as a lesson learned. Then move forward. Don't dwell on the negative things that brought you to this point in your life. It isn't going to help you progress. You know how when you're driving and the jerk behind you is using his/her bright lights and you have to adjust your mirror so you can see. Well, that's exactly what you need to do now. Adjust your view and stop focusing on the bad stuff. Don't get me wrong, if you're husband gives you a black eye, apologizes and then does it again you don't need to forget about that. You chalk that up to a lesson learned and don't let it happen again. (Then take a kick boxing class) I pity the fool.

It will all be okay! I know it's hard. I fought with my anger many times. But, the next time you feel the urge to beat someone into unconsciousness with your words, stop! This is only adding fuel to the fire and it won't help you move forward. All this is doing is burning bridges. Life is a journey. We can't afford to burn any bridges along the way. Sometimes burning bridges makes it hard to get back to the things that we lost that meant the most to us.

How do you move forward? Well, you have to look at this way. This is kind of a new start. Do you have a bucket list? Start checking things off of your list and start living your life for you. If you're afraid of being alone then surround yourself with people who will have a positive impact on your life. If you have children this is an important step. Not only do you need the good vibes but your kids need it to.

So, my dear friend, keep your head up & your mouth shut and everything will work out if you put the effort into it.

It hurts so good!

Years ago, I started writing a short story. I woke up one morning from a dream that seemed so detailed. The story was so.......not anything that I have ever dreamed about before. The people in my dream, well I had no idea who they were. The storyline, something I had never thought of before....or so I thought. So, I got a pen and a notebook and started to write it all down when I had some time to myself. I wrote and rewrote. It poured out of me onto that paper and it all made sense. It was a great story.

I never finished the story. Then one day I looked up from my notebook and realized I had been spending so much time writing that I hadn't done any real housework. I didn't want my husband to get upset about that. So, I put the notebook in a box and hid it away thinking that if anyone found it they might think I was silly for trying to write a book. But, that's when I realized writing a book was something that I wanted to do. Still, the notebook stayed hidden and when my ex husband and I split up the box got left behind. So, here I am. I still want to write a book. I would love to write a children's book. A kooky children's story about accepting each others differences and it will be illustrated!........... Someday.

About a week ago, I was sitting on my bed with my morning coffee and the urge to write came over me again. I had a story in my head and needed to get it out. I have no formal training when it comes to writing, as I am sure you've noticed. So, I don't know if I'm doing it write! This is one of those times when I wish I wouldn't have skipped out on that creative writing class in high school. Doh! My best friend use to proof read the things I would write. Most of the things were just ideas that didn't pan out. But, she is so busy and has no time, lives a world away and has no ambition of being a writer. She suggested a writing group. Where would I find one around here that I would be comfortable going to?

Well, this is where it gets crazy. I logged on to facebook a few mornings ago and saw a post from a friend asking if anyone would be interested in a writing group!!! I swear my mouth hung open and my heart began to race. Immediately, I hit the "message" button! I wanted to know more. So, now I am a member of a writing group with women I barely know and this puts me way outside of my comfort zone! But I want to do it! I want to put myself out there and hope I don't get laughed at! And as I say that I giggle a little because I think of all my goofy quirks and hope I won't scare them off!

This is me following a dream. Even if I don't get published. I just want to show someone what I've written. Someone who isn't related to me. I want someone to look at my story and say "You spelled "their" wrong!". That's all! To me, that means I'm a writer! lol! Then I can mark it off of my bucket list! I'm gonna finish that book gosh darnit!!  And I'm telling you, I've been writing so much my wrist hurts! So, What are you doing to cross things off you're bucket list!?

Working It Out

I recently started sweating at the gym with my sister and my cousin. If you read my previous post you know that I did it for various reasons. Most importantly, it was to help myself live longer. I changed my eating habits. Cut out sweets to a certain extent.....I still drink an occasional Mt. Dew with tons of ice. But, one of the perks of this new journey I've set out on......reconnecting with my girls.

I got married in August. When I started planning the wedding I had 4 bridesmaids in mind. When I walked down the aisle I followed only 3. One of my bridesmaids and I grew apart for a short time while I was planning my wedding. She had so much going on in her own life that I didn't feel like her heart was in it and I also didn't agree with the choices she was making. I was wrong to think that my opinion mattered. I'm not saying that as a smart @ss. I am saying, it was not my place to judge. The deadline came to order my wedding flowers. I had to make a choice. Once I put in that order I couldn't take it back. I didn't want my Mom to pay for a bridesmaid bouquet when the bridesmaid didn't even have the dress. So, I had to make a decision. Do I tell my rogue bridesmaid to forget about her commitment or do I say "listen! I'm not happy with the effort you're putting out here! Get your ass in gear and get your friggin' dress!"? I chose to tell her to forget about it. In hind sight, I should've told her I was disappointed (as if anyone wants to hear that they're disappointing you) because I really think she didn't mean to not jump when I asked......lol.....That sounded bridezilla-like. Anyway, you can't go back. So we go forward and repair what we can. Shoulda, Coulda and Woulda!

My cousin, the rogue bridesmaid, is such a sweet heart! She would give you the world if you told her it would make you happy. She also got dealt a crappy hand in her first marriage, suffered some low self esteem and still has trust issues. You gotta love her for pulling through. I couldn't let our relationship fall away. I love the time we have together. So, when the opportunity came up to start working out with her and my sister at the gym, I had to do it. And I'm so happy that I did! It has been so nice to get back on track with her. She is the size of a supermodel, minus the height, so trotting next to her on a treadmill is a bit daunting and I'll be honest there are times when I want to push her off balance. But, overall, it has been the best part of going to the gym!

Not only am I re-connecting with her and my sister. But, I feel so energized afterwards. Talk about a stress reducer! I leave the house and all the stress of the unfinished laundry and housework behind, walk a few miles on the treadmill or pump my legs on the elliptical and when I get home I suddenly don't care anymore! I just feel better! My problems don't disappear........but suddenly I feel like it doesn't matter as much! If you've found yourself in a slump I would highly recommend that you get physical! Get your blood pumping. You never know what you can achieve in the process!