Me being Mom

Me being Mom
photo by Anna Marie Pictorials

Monday, May 30, 2011

Finding Humor in a shot of Tequila





I love to color. Always have. When I was a kid I collected coloring books the way boys collected baseball cards. I always had a big box of crayons that I was very particular about. I didn't want anyone to sharpen them or misuse them. They were precious to me. I didn't want anyone coloring in my coloring books either! I had certain pages in certain coloring books that were reserved just for me. I must've been a pain in the butt as a kid!





Coloring is an activity that I have tried to interest my own kids in. Not only is it a relaxing past time but it's an easy way to give yourself a sense of accomplishment. Finishing a page always puts a smile on my face! It's all too often that kids turn to video games to pass the time. I don't expect my 16 year old son to grab a coloring book and crayons and lay in the floor and color instead of kill zombies on a video game. But you never know! My boys are teenagers and they've pretty much outgrew the coloring phase but occasionally they might pick up a coloring book......Bahaha....who am I kidding? lol They wouldn't do that now unless their little sister batted her eyelashes and said "Peeeez"!





My daughter who will be 3 this winter LOVES markers, crayons, ink pens and basically anything else she can make a mark with. I try to keep the sharpie markers away from her though! That's a dangerous writing utensil right there! I had to learn the hard way!





It's a funny story. Any story that involves my toddler usually is. She's a train wreck with pigtails. I was completely wiped out one day. Physically and emotionally. I laid down in bed to try to nap while she was playing in the living room, watching Little Einsteins. I was on the brink of balling my eyes out over the recent events in life. While she plays she tends to sing or humm. It's music to my ears. So when she came bopping into the bedroom singing and saying "Mama" I had to smile. She can be so sweet. I kept my eyes closed. It's a little game we play. I pretend I'm asleep and she pokes me in the shoulder and repeats "Mama" over and over and over until I break! That day I got one "Mama". Nothing else. I thought that was strange. I could sense that she was still standing there. Just as I popped one eye open I felt something wet across my forehead. My eyes didn't want to focus. Then as she says "Pretty!" I see the marker in her hand! GREEN! SHARPIE MARKER! It's on my forehead! Eeeeek! I jump out of bed with the speed and agility of an elephant, tangling myself in the blankets even more as I attempt to flee to the mirror! I am going to cry! My Goodness! It's not washing off with soap! How do you get marker off of skin? Rubbing alcohol! Ok! Have you ever seen the movie with Sean Connery where he goes to the amazon to research a cure for cancer. It's called "Medicine Man". His research partner in the movie unknowingly gets a tattoo on her forehead. I feel like that woman right now! Because in my mind I'm blowing things out of proportion and telling myself that this green line is never going to wash off! I'll be sporting this artwork in my wedding pictures.......Over my dead body! So I set out in search of rubbing alcohol. At this point my forehead is just about raw from all of the scrubbing. I've tried everything to get this marker off! We don't have any rubbing alcohol at all! Not in a bottle and not in those handy little alcohol wipes! How is this possible? My brain is working overtime. What would MacGyver do? Ummm.....Well, I think a bomb would be overkill. Maybe I'm consulting the wrong person. What would Stephanie Plum do? Now there's the professional I need to ask! And I think she would go with something similar to rubbing alcohol. Hello? Alcohol!





I don't drink! But occasionally we will have a family get together and family members will leave a bottle of alcohol at the house so they don't have an open container in their car on the way home. So I break into the liquor cabinet. And by break in, I mean I remove all of the cleaning supplies from under the sink! What do we have? Very cheap Vodka, Watermelon shcnapps, Butterschotch Schnapps, Bacardi Rum and a couple drops of Tequila! Nothing irritates me more than when people leave a drop of tea in the jug or a drop of soy sauce in the bottle. It's no different with alcohol! So, I go with the Tequila just to eliminate the irritation! Keep in mind. It's not even noon on a school day and I'm rubbing Tequila on my forehead like a maniac! My daughter has gotten over the shock of me screaming while frantically running through the house. Now she's sitting on the bathroom floor with a dry cotton ball rubbing her own forehead! I can't help but laugh at the situation. It gets better but I think I'll save that for another day! Sorry things to do!

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