Me being Mom

Me being Mom
photo by Anna Marie Pictorials

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Misery Business

I'm not a private detective. I have never been trained in the art of interrogation and I most certainly have never been schooled on human behavior! But I know the tell tale signs of a cheater!

Hiding your cell phone, keeping it locked, not sharing the password, "working" a 60 hour work week but only getting paid for 40 and my favorite......an abnormally high phone bill because you exceeded your monthly text allowance. I call this the Misery Business! It's a very unpleasant thing to go through. They say "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger."......Ummm, it's more like "What doesn't kill you, just might destroy your trust in mankind."

It always seems that the faithful spouse is the last to know. Or if said spouse has the slightest clue that wrong is being done, the cheater squashes it and turns the tables, making the faithful spouse feel as if they are to blame or have done something horribly wrong by even bringing up the idea that his or her behavior might be a little suspicious! Women with low self esteem are easily brain washed into thinking this and usually have mixed emotions when it comes to taking initiative and leaving when the cheater is caught in the act. I should know.

Define Cheating: To me, it's not just having sex with someone else. There's an emotional stage too. I think you've crossed the line if you're sharing intimate details of your life with someone other than your spouse, confiding in them and not your significant other. Sorry, to me, that's cheating. Meeting someone who you find attractive and not telling them about your wife and kids......that's intent to cheat! If you're that unhappy, move on. Have the balls to look your husband or wife in the eye and say "I'm not happy and nothing you can do will make me happy!". It will be hard but in the end it will be the best way. Making a woman feel like a fool is probably not a good idea. Hell hath no fury! You've heard it before.

There are a million reasons why people cheat on their significant other. And even though I do believe in forgiveness, I don't believe in 3rd chances. Cheat, get caught, promise not to do it again and hold to your word. But saying you won't do it again and then doing it again......You gotta go! I don't know why anyone would put up with it a 3rd time. You're better than that. You deserve better. It won't get better unless you make the decision to move on, remove yourself from the situation. Don't look back except to learn from your mistakes.

Don't lose faith. I know it's hard to trust after being beat down mentally. You might feel like you're nothing and that you don't deserve better. But, you just have to believe that you are deserving of a good person to share your life with. You haven't set your standards too high! A healthy relationship is one where both parties are considerate and loving. Not manipulative and hurtful.





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