Pep talk

From designeriphone.tumbler.com

I've spent the majority of the morning making excuses to myself for not pushing myself forward. I hate it when people make excuses and here I am doing that very thing. I want to set up a booth at a local craft show. I have plenty of materials to make the things I could sell. I already have a healthy stock saved up of items to sell to begin with. But, I have a little self doubt. I don't know why. Suddenly I am scared that I won't sell anything or that people will look at my stuff and say "Wow....that's interesting!" then walk by and laugh at me.

I am behaving like the person I was 10 years ago. Hiding my passion for life, full of self doubt. I don't like this person and would like nothing more than to beat her up! High five her in the face. But thankfully, I have a great friend who gives me a serious pep talk when I feel like doing these things to myself. She has a way with words.

"Get over yourself!" is usually what she says. But what she really means is......"There are people out there who think like you do, as scary as that sounds! Not everyone has to love your stuff. Do it for you!" Then she reminds me that I'm showing early signs of being a people pleaser! Somebody stop me!

So, here I am. There's something in front of me that I want. But I'm frozen by fear. Worried that I will fail. I have to ask myself. What would Stephanie Plum do? Ok. Maybe not Stephanie Plum! What would I tell someone else going through the same ordeal as me?

The words come to me as easily as the lyrics to a Beastie Boys song. 

You Gotta Fight! For your RIGHT! TO.......

Maybe not! Ok....How about this...."Just take small steps towards what you want. Don't look at the possibility that you'll fail. Look at the goal. Take it one hurdle at a time. If you stack up all of your hurdles in one place it's a bit overwhelming. Duh! Don't do that! But more importantly, Just take a step forward. You will never know until you try......Remember your girls who had never tried to make anything, who were scared to try? Remember how proud they were when they tried and pulled it off?"

So, I will move forward. One step at a time. My goal: Set up a booth at the fall bizarre. That's it. I won't hold high expectations. If I sell something, GREAT! If I make enough money to buy fabric softener.....bonus! I tried! It's better than not trying and being disappointed in myself for giving up.

Thanks for the Pep talk! Now go put your pom poms away and for the love of God, take the cheer leading uniform off! You look ridiculous! :)

The lottery plan

My husband always says "When I win the lottery" as if it's a possibility. He doesn't play the lottery and I'm not going to encourage him to do that since I think it's a waste of money. I'd rather put the money into a savings account and let it build itself up. But, I'm not opposed to dreaming about what I'd do if I won the lottery.

[Exhale]

It would be wonderful. First, I'd pay off the husbands truck! Save the repo man a trip! Times are hard people. Don't judge.

I would not tell a soul we won the lottery........ignore the pictures on facebook of me holding that giant check! It's not a lottery check....the husband got a bonus at work......yeah....that's it! Employee of the month......right!

I would immediately book a flight to Disney since I've been telling the kids all of these years that we would get there before they have kids of their own! Besides, they'd be really upset with Mama if they didn't get to go to Disney before I took my European tour with my Mom and sisters and then there's the trip to Vegas with the hubby. And the cross country expedition..... I better get luggage!

Education is important! So, I'd have to put money into a trust fund for the kids so they can get educated! I'm going to take lessons to learn Italian and Spanish. Maybe hire a tutor to potty train the toddler! There's an idea. And while I'm educating people I should sign my Mom up for woodworking classes so she can learn to make furniture for short folks! I think she would be good at it. She's short.

Part of me thinks I should pull a "My name is Earl" and undo all of the wrong I've done. Oy! Replace the lawn ornaments we took as teenagers, pay back my Mom for all of the times she paid the heating bill or kept the lights on in my house, get group therapy going for my cousin who I failed to rescue and hire a sky writer plane to write "I'm sorry for punching you in the face, I was shocked about her age and couldn't think straight! Won't happen again!" in the sky over my ex's house.....both houses maybe. Might need two planes and a wing walker!

Then, of course I would send money to animal shelters and volunteer at each one as I make my way across the united states during my cross country adventure in the Motor home the husband will undoubtedly buy on day one! Oooh! We're going to need some awesome mud flaps for that bad boy! Better add those to the list.

It would be nice to win the lottery. I'd do a lot of fun things and even though I would eliminate a lot of stress that I currently have, it would also bring on more stress. The truth is, there is nothing in this world that I would buy that would make me happier than I am right now. I have an amazing family, a roof over my head and tires to carry me where I need to go. But more importantly I have love. You cannot put a price on LOVE.

I can't stop!

I don't think there's a T-shirt in my house that is safe from me this weekend! I recently realized that just because a shirt has a stain, it doesn't mean you have to throw it out. I use to rip them up for cleaning rags. Now I rip them up to make flowers!

It all started out when I had the idea to cover up stains on one of the toddlers onsies with these flowers I make. I'm not the first person to do it. I know that. It's been done a million times. I had a T-shirt that had a cool graphic printed on the front. I didn't want to get rid of it. It was my favorite! So, I cut out the section I liked, filed it with the other things to be re purposed at a later date and ripped the rest of the shirt into strips. Then I sat on the couch, on my booty and made flowers out of the strips while I caught up on my shows. It was a good day.

But, now, I cannot stop making these flowers. I want to put them on everything! The toddler is going to have these flowers on every piece of her clothing if I don't get a handle on things. She has tons of shirts that I was prepared to throw out because of stains. I am horrible at getting out stains. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I want to make things just so I can put these flowers on them!.....I actually found myself peeping in the boys closet for shirts I thought they wouldn't miss. I got caught. I think I heard a door lock. I think they're on to me!

What are you reading?

I take full credit for this bad photo.

My best friend and I have our own, 2 person, book club going on. We share a love of a good story, stories that suck you in and hold you captive, transport you to another time. Oh! How I love to get lost in a great story and let my mind wander away from the never ending pile of laundry and the forever overflowing trash can. 

Stripper, my bf,  reads a little faster than I do. So, when she finishes a book she finds the next one and begins reading. Usually she'll get a few chapters into the story and let me know if she thinks it is worthy of my time. It's like having my own book tester! But for the last few months she has been overseas taking care of her father who has been ill. So, I've been on my own with the book club. In other words I've had to find my own books! Gasp!

I got lucky though! A great book found me!

I never realized how much I love books until my aunt told me I could have a couple boxes of books to sell in my yard sale! My palms started to sweat. I was very excited! I think giving me a box of books to sell in a yard sale is the equivalent to giving a crack head baggies of crack to sell on the street! Chances are......it ain't gonna hit the streets! I confess I kept a few books.....6 or 7...or 8. OK! 9!!

So, as I'm searching through the boxes of books I see one that could be a winner! I know that they say you shouldn't choose a book by it's cover but I can't help it. I'm drawn to the cover art. I am especially drawn to anything with skulls......anything medieval....anything British.....anything with Vampires, werewolves, Fae or Highlanders. I'm not really picky. I just want a good story line mixed with a few good laughs.

Well, when I saw the cover for "Mistress of the Art of Death" by Ariana Franklin. I knew I had to read it. I mean look at the cover. A skull and the word "Medieval"! Hello! So, I snatched it up and began my journey into the twelfth century. And let me tell you the journey kind of freaked me out!

The story is set in the twelfth century like I said, in England. 4 children have been murdered and a specialist has been sent to solve the mystery. Keep in mind, this is back in the day when Women were not educated to be physicians. Any woman who practiced medicine was thought to be a witch. And one woman, educated at the Medical School of Salerno is not going to find out if she is the exception to that rule. So, she hides her idetntity. She makes the journey to Cambridge to help solve the crime with her colleagues. Being an expert in the Forensic field she has all the answers. I don't want to give too much away but, this is a great read! If you like mystery and suspense this is it! There's some humor in there too. I loved the connection between the characters. I am definitely looking forward to reading another one of Ariana Franklins books!

What are you reading right now?

Time...take it or make it.

I am busy! Busy! Busy! Busy! I fill my time with things that aren't important to the existence of man but important to the existence of my sanity. My house is normally a mess because I choose to do things that make me happy instead! I'm dangerous like that. Some might call me a slob. That's fine. I think I just have different priorities than others. I refuse to be a slave in my own home. If the other people in my home don't like the fact that their toilet hasn't been cleaned, well, they know how to use a toilet brush! The End!

I often multi-task to ensure that there is a healthy balance between duty and sanity. So, today while the toddler was having a meeting with the potty.....which is usually lengthy....I turned on the computer and checked my email.

OK! OK!

I was scrolling through pinterest! Fine!

How could I not? I mean, it was either sit there on the big potty next to her doing nothing but staring at the wall or I could sit on my bed, directly across from the bathroom door and do something that makes me happy!

Gee. Let me think about that!

Sure! I could have tidy'd up the bathroom while she was perched there on her throne but I just didn't want to! I had already cleaned the bedroom and vaccumed the entire house, cleaned out the litter box and washed one window. 

Just one window. I ran out of news paper. 

Being an adult involves a lot of time management. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. Just try to make sure that you're squeezing in some "YOU time".  Don't ever say you don't have time! You have plenty of time to multi task!

5 hr Self Esteem Boost

Organza flowers! They require no water and live forever! WIN!

Please keep in mind that I am a mother of 3 children, not a middle aged man seeking the attention of a much....much much....much younger woman. Now answer me this....How do you boost a teenage girls self esteem? How do raise their opinion of themselves?  

Having been a teenage girl once.....or for a few years myself, I......have to admit that I have no idea what makes a teenage girl tick in this day and age!! But, I once suffered and still struggle at times with self esteem issues of my own. There! I said it! I'm not going to put on the front that I am a confident well rounded woman who knows I am a queen, able to do anything in the world that I set my mind to! At times I doubt myself and drag my feet when it comes to moving forward. I even, doubt my abilities as a responsible parent. Which makes me wonder why any person in their right mind would ask me to teach 8 teenage girls how to be crafty and mentor them to boot! What were they thinking? Obviously, a psych evaluation was not required!

I'm crafty. I'm witty. I've made mistakes. I've learned from them. I don't mind talking about it and I have a no nonsense attitude and a stone cold stare that would scare the pants off of anybody except my toddler. I guess I have what it takes to get my point across??? Apparently I do because today I gave 8 teenage girls who have very little positive reinforcement in their lives a self esteem boost! And I have to tell you it felt awesome!

How did I do it? I helped them accomplish something. It was that simple! I taught them how to make something! In the beginning at least 6 of the girls told me that they could not make a simple organza flower! I could see it in their eyes. They did not believe in themselves. It was a sad thing! I assured them that they could and when they insisted that theirs wouldn't be as good as mine, I told them to prove it! Put your money where your mouth is sister and show me what you think you ain't got!!!

I dare you to TRY! You will never know if you CAN unless you try! One foot in front of the other! One step at a time! Make an honest effort!  Cut your organza! Melt the edges. Stack the pieces and add your beads. They took the steps. They made the flowers. They were so proud of themselves! And I think I might have a few girls who are now addicted to crafts! I have converted them! Yay me!

 YAY THEM!

Positve reinforcement! Give it to someone today!! It's a win-win situation!

Holding on, letting go

 Letting go of life's most hurtful experiences can be hard. It has taken me a long time to let go of some things. I don't think I have actually been able to let go of the dislike I have for my ex-husbands girlfriend. Until now.....

Let me tell you a true story...... 

Let's go way back to when I was a teenager. Many. Many. Many years ago. Motley Crue is singing about Dr. Feel Good. I'm perched at the dining room table watching my Mom work on a ceramic piece. We were kind of nerdy and we painted ceramics back in the day. I actually loved to do that with her! She was good! She likes to claim that she isn't crafty at all but she was a genius with a paint brush and ceramics. I loved to watch her paint.

She painted these Indian heads. Spent a lot of time on them. You can tell by looking at them. I loved them. And when she talked about getting rid of them I almost choked on my Mt. Dew! How could she possibly get rid of them when she spent so much time on them? Sure, they didn't exactly fit into her decor anymore but come on! They are beautiful! So, I took them! And they traveled with me whenever I moved and that was a lot for a while. My husband back then was a military man. Each time we moved,  I treated them like an ancient artifact, knowing that if they ever got broken, they would never be replaced. They were special to me. And even though they didn't match my motif, I held on to them and displayed them in my room, on a shelf high above the kids reach. Every time I saw them I thought about my Mom, shining, doing something she was marvelous at! It made me feel good.

Fast forward a few years to 2007. At this point in my life I'm in the midst of a total break down. I'm much older. Motley Crue is probably planning a reunion tour by now for crying out loud. My husband and I are getting a divorce and I am a walking zombie, moving around the house we rescued together trying to decide what I can take with me when I go. Wherever that might be. I pack up all of the things that I absolutely cannot live without! My Moms Indian heads are the first thing to be packed...... That was one of the hardest times of my life. Walking around that house looking at all of those memories was heart wrenching. I couldn't focus. Then one day my friend told me that the only thing in that house that I really needed to worry about were my boys.....and my best bra! The rest was replaceable! And while I had my mini break down, she came over and helped me pack.

But, as helpful as she was at the hardest time of my life, She  was wrong! Remember, those Indian heads!! The ones that were not replaceable in my eyes. Of course in the heat of the moment you don't think about those things. You just sit there in a daze! Not knowing where to start or if starting is really even worth it! It broke my heart. Anyway.......The Indian heads got left behind in the mess. The box got put in the wrong place I guess. And in the chaos I just forgot and my friend didn't know any better. Bless her heart for helping!

Well, The years have gone by. The ex moved into our house and it has been years since I've even thought about the things I left behind. He keeps saying I need to come over and go through the things in the basement. But I can't step foot in that house. I break out in hives sitting in the driveway. I just can't do it. But, recently I had to stop by the house to get some of my sons things that he left from the week with his dad. I knocked on the door, knowing that the girlfriend was there, wondering why it was taking her so long to get to the door. Our dog, is at the door barking and I want to open the door and scoop him up for some quick kisses before she gets there. But, I don't. It's not my house anymore and I don't think he even knows who I am. Then I see her coming toward the door. She's holding something in her hand that I can't make out through the screen door. Then it hits me.

I think my heart stopped for about a second. Tears immediately filled my eyes and that day, the day I packed them in the box, every time that we moved, all of the memories and heart ache, all of the pride for my Moms hidden talent, the memories of her swift hand holding a paint brush......it all came back to me. I snatched those Indian heads out of her hands so fast and said "Oh! My GOD! Thank you! Thank You! Sooo much!". And suddenly she wasn't the person that played a part in the demise of a family. She was a person who cares deeply for my boys. A person who keeps in touch with the boys when their dad can't. She was a person returning something very special to me. Who knows why. Maybe she thinks they are hideous and wants them out of her house. It is her house now. I don't need to be in it anymore. So, the Indians are with me now. Back home where they belong, on a shelf, high above little hands or bouncing balls. I'm holding on to these indian heads. But, I'm letting go of the hate and the bad memories. Only good from now on!

I don't know what feels better. Letting go of the bad memories or holding on to the good memories. 

Life is too short....

photo by Anna Marie Pictorials

Life is too short .....

1. TO WEAR BORING CLOTHES!

    That's one of the reasons why I refused to wear a pair of high healed shoes to my wedding!!

2. TO NOT DANCE IN THE RAIN!

    It's going to rain today, I think I can squeeze a quick dance in while I'm loading the toddler in the Jeep!

3. TO WORRY ABOUT MY CANKLES!

     Because really, as long as your ankles are skinnier than your ex husbands girlfriends, you are golden!

4. TO HAVE REGRETS!

    Go ahead and eat that extra toaster strudel! You're going to dance it off in the rain!

5. TO IGNORE THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY!

    But that doesn't mean you should openly laugh at someone when they slip and fall in walmart! Be NICE!

6. TO NOT SAY "I LOVE YOU"!

    So, Johnny Depp......."I love you"!! There! It's out there and I can't take it back!

7. TO SIT ON THE COUCH AND WASTE THE DAY AWAY!

     That's why I moved my work station to the living room! I can work from the couch!! Ha! Genius!

8. TO FIGHT ABOUT THE SILLY THINGS!

     So, keep your mouth shut and give up that parking space!

9. TO NOT FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!

     But with the price of gas you might have to get a second job to afford the journey! Am I right?

10. TO TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY!

       Make someone laugh today! Even if it's yourself! Smile at someone until they get uncomfortable and smile back! It's easier than you think! But, avoid anyone who might take it the wrong way! Sometimes it's hard to tell with some people. Next thing you know, they're following you to your car and then trying to follow you home!

     

     

Calgon.....

Sometimes, I don't think there is enough Calgon in the world to rescue me from this craziness I call my life! Don't get me wrong. I love my life! But, I am the mother of 2 teenage boys who are amazing!

How is that an issue? Well, they are great 99.9 % of the time. But that .1% will jump up and slap me in the face quicker than Jimmy John's can make a sandwich! Freaky Fast! It happens out of the blue and leaves me shaking my head for days! Today is one of those days. I'm still shaking my head.

It's been a long time since I was a teenager myself and I wouldn't want those years back for anything....most of the time. The emotional roller coaster, being unhappy but not knowing why. It's like being pregnant! Feeling awkward in your own skin, inadequate. Wow! Just like being pregnant! No Thanks! Keep all that! Anyway, I have a hard time relating to my boys sometimes. So when that .1% puts the smack down on me I just don't even know what to say. I immediately want to know what the problem is so I can fix it. And I automatically think I did something wrong.

I was singing a little loudly with the window down on our way through town yesterday. Maybe someone heard me singing and they got embarrassed? I wore my Mom jeans, thinking I wouldn't be getting out of the car.....but then got out of the car anyway! Maybe it was something like that.

They both assure me that it was nothing like that and actually have the nerve to laugh at me when I bring it up! I can't help it. I like my Mom jeans! They are roomy and I can get comfy when I'm waiting in the car rider line! Deal with it!

Calgon?.....Where are you?  The toddler won't poop. The teenagers are throwing things and won't talk. The cat........I love her like a fat kid loves cake! But she better be on her very best litter box behavior from now on!  The husband....the man is a saint! How I love this man! [Epiphamy] He is my Calgon! 

Pinterest made me do it!

Just when I thought my days of throwing people under the bus were left in the past! Here I go blaming one of my quirks on someone else!

I've realized lately that I have a problem.....mainly with throwing things away but also with collecting other peoples junk. My best friend says I have early signs of Hoarding. A disease she is all to familiar with since her own father is a bit of a pack rat himself and she just spent the last month cleaning out his house. I should mention that she did this without his permission. I think we'll be seeing them on Dr. Phil very soon.

I don't want to get to that point. I can see it now. My Mom shows up out of the blue to take me somewhere....knowing her, the Grand Canyon. Don't worry! She isn't going to throw me over! She is going to distract me so a 50 ft long dumpster can be brought in and all of my prized possessions can be tossed over into their own metal grand canyon! My poor babies!

I can't help it! I like scrapbook paper and any kind of glue! I also love fabric, paper punches, paper edgers, jewelry making supplies and party supplies. I usually can't turn down a glass jar or flower vase! And you never know when you might need an old fence! Boxes use to be for moving! But not for me!  See!!! Look! This old box......The toddler has gotten minutes of enjoyment out of it! MINUTES! (It was suppose to be a robot! My son made one similar and it was a party hit! This one didn't make it!)



Normally, or as normally as I can possibly do things, I can keep my hoarding in check! But, thanks to pinterest I can no longer keep myself from stopping on the side of the road and snatching up others peoples trash! Yesterday, I had to wrestle a woman for an old window! Seriously! She must've seen the cool window shelf on pinterest too! I know it inspired me! I've gotten so many ideas from pinterest! And not just cool DIY projects but recipes, party decorating solutions, quotes and hairstyles. So the next time you see me and I've got this awesome hair thing going on, you can bet pinterest made me do it! http://pinterest.com/

*Warning! Following the link above could result in hours upon hours of inspiring mind blowing images!

Dr. Pepper & Suppositories

I'm sorry! I have to! I'm at the end of my rope here! The toddler and I have been fighting a war the last 6 or 7 months and I hate to admit that she has been winning!

 I've reached into my bag of Mommy tricks and pulled out just about everything I can! Each attempt at a win left me with nothing, nada, zilch! So,  I had to break down and call the DR! I try not to involve her in the health of my daughter as much as possible. I don't have anything against her. It's the people who answer her phones! They could seriously be replaced with 2 German speaking old women! No offense to Old German women, I just think they would be way more knowledgeable and could get your point quicker than the teenagers that answer the phones there! whew! Having said that.......where was I?

Oh! Yeah! Anyway, let me just tell you what's going on here and apologize for talking about such a crappy issue but my toddler refuses to poop!

There! I said It! She will hold it for days! She flat out refuses to go! We've been trying to potty train for a while now and it's not going as well as I'd hoped! We've changed her diet! We've tried to make poop time more enjoyable! As if that's possible! And it's a constant battle! I have even given her Dr. Pepper! It helps me and it has helped my boys when they were much younger. Sure. It gives her the urge to go but she has buns of steel and fights it every time!

So, today when I called the Dr office and spoke to the young lady who always puts me on hold and then hangs up on me I got lucky enough to be (after 4 attempts) transferred to the NURSE! yay me!........

For the 4th time today, I give my daughters name, her age, her birth date, her hair color, when she had her last BM, what I've tried, what hasn't worked, what my daughter uses as a battle strategy and what I am going to do if I don't get some results soon. I said a lot! Then the NURSE says, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part!".

I say "Which part?"...........................................Seriously!? GOD! I know you're there! Could you please reach down and slap this woman for me? I will feed the homeless if you would just do this for me, please GOD!........?? NO?? Fine!

I was on the phone with the call center and the Nurse for about an hour! I won't be given and appointment for whatever reason. They do not feel this is urgent! The Nurse says that the Dr feels I should try a suppository!

That must have been the part she didn't hear! I've tried that but I can't give her one! I physically am not strong enough to pull that off! I admit it! This child has the smarts of Albert Einstein, the strength of Hercules and the rage of the Hulk! It can't be done without sedatives! After all of that, I will not be given an appointment since it is not urgent enough! This is causing serious pain to my child and I don't know how to fix it. TO me, that is urgent! Its a recurring thing!  I don't know how to teach her that it is ok to go. Or who knows maybe it just hurts her too much.

Has anyone else had this problem? I need your help. My daughter needs your help! Her colon is probably screaming for help I just can't hear it!

Becoming the CHEF!

When I was a much younger housewife......long long ago, I cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner. We didn't eat at McDonalds too often. And come to think of it, I was much thinner back then. Over the years, I tried to keep up with that habit. But, then I met my husband and that all fell apart. He's a very picky eater. I felt the meals I was cooking were not satisfying everyone. He wanted more meat and none of the rabbit food and the kids wanted more Mexican! I just want to be able to afford to feed us all! I don't want to have to resort to stealing a cow and butchering it myself! So to make everyone happy we ate out more! If we went to a restaurant at least I knew they were all getting what they wanted. But, as you know  a Big mac costs way more than it use to!

And that means I am not cooking at all! Breakfast is a bowl of cereal or a frozen waffle instead of a couple scrambled eggs and toast! Lunch is ramen noodles or a little frozen pizza instead of a PBJ or grilled cheese and macaroni. I'm sure those aren't the ideal health nut lunch of choice but it's my healthy version.

I use to love to cook! I loved to follow a recipe or make up my own. I liked to plan out meals and grocery shop. But lately I just feel like it's a wasted effort since nobody is ever on the same page and money is tight. It's hard to make a buck stretch now adays! So, I'm on a mission to find budget friendly meals that please the population. No more fast food! Only on special occasions! And even though managing to clean the entire house in one day is reason to celebrate, unfortunately it is NOT a special occasion! Oh! Neon Grill, I will miss you dearly!

So, as I was out wandering around the world wide web yesterday, looking for recipes,  I ran across The Pioneer Woman's blog! Let me first say this........I am in love with her! She cooks with BEER for crying out loud!  I'm brewing a serious crush on her as we speak! Anyhoo, if you check out her blog you will immediately understand why I am in love! Or maybe you already know of her and these words that I spew are nothing new to you! If you haven't heard of her....look her up! 

Last night I followed one of her simple, speedy recipes for fried round steak! It was simply superb and sooooo easy to make!  http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2010/08/fried-round-steak/
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Do you smell what I'm saying? I have to admit....mine looked just like the picture above! Cooking that meal made me feel like a chef again! I felt good about myself! So happy I got back to that and I look forward to cooking another meal!

This blog

I don't know if it's a curse of a creative person that I carry with me or if it's just a severe case of Attention Deficit disorder mixed with an overwhelming amount of things crowding up my Mommy do list! But, I am struggling with this blog thing.

This makes me sad. And I'll tell you why. This blog is something I am doing for me.

ME!

......and the tears start to flow. .......sorry.

I wish I could say that this is unlike me and that I don't cry at the first sign of frustration. But, that's me! I'm a cryer. I get frustrated with myself more often than I should.

I feel like lately I have let myself down by not making time to sit and do the things I like to do. I am a firm believer in "If Mommy ain't happy...." Well, you know how it goes!

So, I made a promise to myself a while back that I would work harder to make myself happy. And one of the things I wanted to do was blog. I make sure everyone has clean clothes and clean dishes to eat off of. I wash them by hand by the way. The dishes! Not the clothes! So, I figured I would do something for myself that makes me smile.

Not that my abilities to wash dishes or clothes makes others happy but I can guarantee that when they open that cupboard door and find that there are NO plates to eat off of....they're not happy that they have to wash one!

Maybe I set myself up. I told myself that I would post once a day. Every single day! Is that really an achievable goal?

Sure! Even if it's a Quote or a photo I think is lovely or funny or inspiring or.....

This sob story is turning into a PEP Talk! Hang on, let me get my Pom Poms!

And my pig tails!! Gotta have those!

We're GO! So, ok. revised plan. Post once a day even if it's a one line witty comment I've made up in the Jeep while driving or a quote passed on by a friend to inspire. I am always taking pictures of things that make me laugh or realize that love is all around us and that God loves us. I mean, if he didn't he wouldn't have given us the internet. Right?

Well, thanks a bunch for listening! I feel so much better! Now, I'm going to attempt to leave the house with the toddler. We're potty training and this is trip number one without a diaper or pull up! GOD watch over me and her bladder!

Helo Wanted

I've been working from home for a while now and I use the term "Work" lightly. They say if you spend your time doing something you love it isn't considered work. Well, I say if you're not getting paid to do it then it isn't work and you need to get a job because the bills won't pay themselves! So, I have been looking for a job. I've filled out applications at several places over the last 5 months with no luck at all. I've followed up and used my nicest most educated sounding voice. I was polite and witty and remembered to NOT say "UMMM!" as much as possible. I realize that working around my day job (driving the kids to and from school) might be a turn off for some employers but if I'm correct there are people out their that go to school and require time off for classes. The most positive thing that came from any of the calls is being told that I might be over qualified to work at the Dollar Store. I am taking that as a compliment. I gave up on calling a few of the places that I applied to and actually made an appearance. I made sure that all of my tattoos weren't readily visible and went light on the eyeliner. I don't think you can see the pink streaks in my hair anymore....regardless I felt like a monster with 3 heads when I asked to speak with the manager about an application I turned in. Lately, the service I've received at fast food restaurants and chain stores tells me that you don't have to be a rocket scientist or have the best people skills in the world to be a part of their team! So, I figured I would have a shot at a job! Alas, nobody has returned my calls or appeared to be interested in inviting me to join their merry band of customer pleasers. So, I'm planning an alternate route of attack.

From now on, I'm going to lie on my application. I'm no longer white! I think I can pass for Hispanic on a good day. I have no formal education what so ever! I've been fired from every job I've had for some sort of physical altercation! The only job I've held for longer than a year was running drugs! I'm blind in one eye and can't see out of the other. I have a suspended licence....I thought the middle finger was the universal sign for "RAM ME WITH YOUR CAR". My bad! I can't work the weekends because of my religion. I'm allergic to peanuts and bullsh!t! I feel that I would make a great addition to any team because well......I have to be better than the idiots you have working for you now! And I think to add that special little flair I should spell half the words wrong....Including my name! What do you think?