Nutella fudge

<<<<Yes, that's the start of a beautiful thing. Nutella Fudge! I searched the Internet for a recipe that I was willing to tackle. My supplies are limited so I didn't want a recipe that called for a ton of sugar and etc. Pinterest has a few recipes but they gave me the run around. It seems like I clicked on one and it took me to a site that didn't have the actual recipe for the fudge. The next link took me to a recipe but never actually told me how much I needed of each ingredient. So, after much searching I finallygave up and contacted my good friend who also makes candy and this is what she sent me.

 

    1 can sweetened condensed milk, 1 tsp of vanilla extract, 8 oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips, 1 cup of Nutella and 3 tblsp of unsalted butter. Butter spray to coat your pan. She also suggested a double boiler and parchment paper and I'll get into that in a bit but first let me tell you how bad this idea was...making fudge. It was a bad idea because now I'm home alone with a batch of Nutella fudge and I've just realized that you can drop one of these cubes in with your cup of coffee and it is a beautiful thing.

 

 

   OK. So, you've got all of your ingredients. I literally killed an entire 13 oz jar of Nutella while making this. A cup of Nutella is pretty much most of one jar and then I had to have a few spoon fulls because that's how I do it. I do not own a double boiler thingy. My Mom gave me one once a long time ago and I had no clue what to do with it. I sold it in a yard sale like an IDIOT. Last night, since I was an idiot I used a small soup pan of water and a glass mixing bowl as my double boiler. Umm, It was not my favorite thing to do because my bowl wouldn't hold still while I was stirring and I had to hold on to it when it got hot but I'm over it. It worked in the end! Now, as far as the parchment paper, I don't buy it. I'm just too cheap. And to be honest, I had no problems getting this fudge out of the pan! Trust me!

 

 

    Alright, basic run down of what you're going to need to do. In my 8x8 pan I sprayed a generous coating of my cooking spray. I used butter flavor because who wants your fudge to taste like canola or olive oil. Not me. Spray that pan and set aside. Then, combine your other ingredients. I cut my butter into small chunks to help it melt faster. So, in my soup pan I have water already warming on the stove. I placed my mixing bowl of tasty goodness on top of the pan, don't let the water touch your bowl or it will scorch your stuff! I won't lie and tell you that I stood there and watched that stuff non-stop. I stirred it, walked away, watched a few minutes of whatever the kids were watching and then stirred the stuff. It might seem like the ingredients will never smooth out but don't worry, it does! I was careful not to over heat the stuff and cause the chocolate to seize. So when it was smooth and creamy I poured the thick chocolaty goo into my 8x8 pan and spread it out. It's thick! When you have it spread out in the pan you can put it in the fridge and let it set over night or all day. I did this before bed because otherwise I would've cut into it before it was fully set.

 

 

    To make cutting it easier, I ran my knife under hot water and then cut that fudge like it was BUTTER! I used a spatula to get it out of the pan and had no problems at all. I read in other recipes that you could sprinkle a little sea salt on the top and I bet that tastes good but all I had was kosher salt so I didn't try that. I did however drop one of these cubes in a cup of plain old coffee and let me tell you, it was delicious!! I bet it's just as good in a warm mug of milk!! 

You can.

   This is a pep talk for all those people who let the mood of others dictate their happiness.

   A long time ago when I was sad and didn't know I was secretly a queen in the form of a house wife, I let someone tell me I couldn't be happy. I was never told I couldn't be happy but sometimes actions speak louder than words and being in such low opinion of myself I thought I couldn't smile or laugh or see joy in the world if that person was so unhappy.

   I've learned a lot since then.

   The only person I can be mad at now is me. I allowed myself to get pulled into that unhappiness. I wasted a lot of years walking on eggshells. I had plenty of people telling me it was alright to laugh and seek happiness. I didn't listen. And then it was as if a switch was turned on and I saw the light. 

   It's ok. LAUGH. SMILE. DO SOMETHING FUN. ENJOY THE GIFT YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN (life). Don't give up on yourself!! I know times get tough. Believe me, I know!! But it boils down to this. You only have so much time. Do you want to spend it in the best way possible or crap it all away? If you want to make the best of the time you have then put a smile on that face and find something that makes you happy! Stop waiting for someone to give you permission. Be a Boss!

NaNoWriMo

It's National Novel Writing Month! If you read my previous post you know that I am participating and have set a goal of 50,000 words which is the size of a Novel... Hence the title of the post. I have yet to finish a novel. I've had plenty of good ideas but haven't been to complete the projects I've started. This time it's a little different though. I feel as if my current work in progress has a good direction and the best part is, I'm making good time and feel as if the words are flowing out and make sense!! Bonus.

If you're participating in NaNoWriMo you should definitely read your messages on the site. I find them very inspirational and was happy to see that some big name authors have also participated over the years. It's nice to read their personal stories and reminds me that it's not alright to give up on my dreams. We have to start somewhere!

 

 

But, I think it's also important to find yourself a fellow writer who is trying to tackle this NaNoWriMo thing too. You can lean on each other when your family feels neglected and doesn't understand because lets face it... Not every husband or child gets it, this writing thing. They don't understand our passion or why we would even consider going all night, fingers to the keyboard. And that can crush a dream faster than my son can kill a weeks worth of groceries!

 

SO, Grab a friend and motivate each other!! 

Pride

Today I feel like a writer. I've asked myself what it's going to take to be a writer. College classes? Better grammar and punctuation? More free time? Approval from my peers? Someone once told me that setting deadlines for myself made me a writer, not meeting those deadlines made me a writer but I still didn't feel like  a writer.  Today, reading over what I wrote last night, I feel like a writer.

I will admit that it isn't often that I am proud of myself for things that I consider 'serious business' and I rarely toot my own horn but today I think I should just because I want to have something to read later on as a reminder of where I am in my writing.

I've taken a bit of a break from writing to focus more on finding a paying job. Apparently having money is more important than true happiness. (I'm being sarcastic)

Not being employed has taken its toll on my self esteem and at times I find myself struggling with my identity. The Mom in me tells the writer in me that she shouldn't be writing when there's laundry to be done or dishes filling the sink. And the woman in me says "Bitch, there are bills to pay! Get a job! How dare you sit at that computer and write. You don't deserve happiness if you can't feed your kids." I hate that woman.

So, I've yet to find a job. I've asked myself time and time again what I'm doing wrong, why can't I convince someone that I will be the hardest working person they have? I shake my head because I don't know and it's frustrating. So, I pour myself into the job search every morning until I can't see straight or keep up with who I've already begged, ignoring the urge to build fantasy worlds.

But, it's November and for writers worldwide that means it's time for NaNoWriMo! I've set a goal of 50,000 words, hoping to complete an entire novel in one month. Considering I have yet to finish ANYTHING I have a lot of work to do.... but I am happy to say that I have kicked that 50,000 word count square in the junk! I haven't knocked it out yet but I've given it something to think about. I'm proud of myself because what I've written speaks to me. I think it's good, possibly the best I've managed so far and I wanted to document how proud I am.

There are days when I have to convince myself that its ok to take time away from being a mom to do what makes me happy. I spend the day worrying about whether or not the kids are happy and forget that a happy mama is a healthy mama.

So, whatever it is that has hold of your heart, whatever it is that you are passionate about... Stop telling yourself that its silly. Stop justifying why you love it so much. BELIEVE in yourself and just do the damn thing! FOR YOURSELF! Be PROUD!

I'm also going to share some encouraging words that I was given a while back. A wise (somewhat insane) man once told me when I had doubt:  I try to keep this in mind; Vincent van Gogh sold only one painting in his entire life. He's considered an absolute master in his field, with only one sale. If he relied on the approval of others to keep him going he would have painted a couple of paintings and given up. He did it for himself, pleasure. That's all. 

Shower Power

Yesterday I helped host a baby shower for my sister. This is her first child and I don't think I know a more capable couple. I'm so happy for them and am so happy to have been a part of their special day.... Ok. enough of the niceties. Let's get on to the details of this shower, shall we?

First of all, we couldn't have a guest BOOK... we had to do things a little differently. I like keepsakes that you can showcase. Books are great if you want to read one but honestly, how often are you going to pull your baby book off of the shelf and read through it? Ok. So maybe you're the Mom who sits for hours and reminisces over these happy days. I don't have time for that. I'd rather have this fancy shcmancy tree hanging on the wall to look at as I'm making my 100th trip to the laundry room for the week. We could've had people write their names next to their fingerprint but the powers that be said it would look sloppy. Umm. It's fingerprints.... meaning they're not exactly neat.

I don't know where my ideas come from. Pinterest? Maybe. I see things there and say "Hmm. I think I can do better." No offense but I'm going to take an idea and run away with it and change my mind a million times. While planning this shower I couldn't give an honest answer regarding the theme because in all actuality, I had no idea where I was going with it. I knew there had to be a tree though. SO, I took paper bags from my many trips to the grocery store and constructed this tree in my dining room. Over a three or so week period I stared at it and thought about how to make it whimsy. I think it turned out well.

 

 

I had to hang something for the eye to follow across this big blank wall so I made these onsies out of scrapbook paper. Some were blank, some had bible verses and quotes and others were adorned with old buttons, ribbons and cute appliques. I personally love the color combo. My sister isn't big on the whole PINK thing so I wanted to put more green in. I chose different shades of green and pink for the leaves because it is early fall after all.

 

 

 

 

 

Here are a few more pictures to give you an idea of how I decorated the rest of the space. Enjoy! :)

 

Public Service Announcement

      This Public Service Announcement is brought to you by....

Err. Me?

   You have no idea how long I've been working on this post! My daughter has been relentless this morning. I came home, made a well balanced breakfast; eggs and toast with homemade jelly, restarted the washer (forgot about that load of socks last night! Sons of Anarchy was on!), swept the floor, took out the trash and all the while the toddler is attached to my leg screaming "Sit with me Mommy!" She needed some extra attention. So I sat with her while she played with her legos. After four minutes of me not being allowed to touch the legos I decided I had other things to do. Off to the dishes I went. She followed. This went on for several hours until I conquered every chore on my list. I allow myself a reward when it's done. I work on the blog or the facebook page I admin.....Shameless plug....If you have a facebook page/account come over and say hi at Reading Addicts.....or Jenny Phillips (author) page! Tell em' I sent ya! LIKE them! I like them!  Jenny Phillips page is a great place to show your support for an author and to hear about any upcoming books she has coming out! Reading Addicts is a good place to swap book suggestions and hear reviews.

    Speaking of reviews! That's actually why I'm here! It has been brought to my attention that most people/readers don't leave reviews after reading a book. I realize that we live in a world where it is far more common to air your bad opinion of an establishment or product than it is to say "Wow! That was great!" or "I love the folks down at the shop and save because they always greet me with a smile, even though they have four teeth between them." I want to take this opportunity to tell you how important it is for a writer to hear they've done something good!
   
    The more I write and speak with other writers the more I understand what it is all about. You pour your heart and soul into a piece of work, you release it and wait for the reviews. You want one person to give their approval. Or maybe you're the writer who could care less, either way, someone wants to know if the book was worth a look. Other readers want to know if they should be reading this book, right? If readers cease to leave a review all there will be is the sound of crickets. And even though crickets are nice to listen to while you're sitting on your deck with a cup of coffee or a beer at night, they are not a welcome noise for authors who need to know if their work is speaking to you or if they have room for improvement. Not all authors are picked up by big time publishers. That means they don't have a team of experts to give them high fives. We rely solely on our fellow writers and fans to encourage us! And maybe I'm confused about what a publishing company is suppose to do. I know there are Publishing Companies out there that are confused about what they are suppose to do..... a totally different topic which I will refrain from speaking about.  
   
    I recommended a book to a friend recently. She emailed me to say that she LOVED the book and passed it on to four more friends who all loved it too. I said "Awesome! Did you leave a review on amazon or goodreads?" and the crickets began to sing. "I don't know how to leave a review. I'm not a writer" she said. Well, Stripper (that's what we call her) you just left a review when you emailed me! Congrats! You now know how to leave a review!
   
    So, here's the thing. When I leave a review I like to share a few things. Did the book pull me in? Did it hold me there or did it roller coaster up and down? (because sometimes you're reading a book and the story drags on and then BAM! It picks up and you can't put the book down!) Readers want to know these things. Did the author make me fall in love with the characters? The author wants to know if they have built a relatable/likable/loathable character. I want to know that I was successful in making you hate a character! I try to bring to the authors attention that there are errors without being rude. I've read reviews where the reader says "Whoever edited this book should be shot" and to me, that is just rude. Please don't do that. Chances are the author is the same person that proof read, edited etc. and by making rude comments you're stomping on their dream..... Meanie Pants!

   Not everybody has time to write a review but if you're on goodreads they make it so easy to rate the book with stars! You don't have to explain why you gave it five stars but if you'd like to share you can! I love that some folks will give a book three stars and then go on to tell you why they rated it lower.

    Ok. So that is my Public Service announcement and you have no idea how many times I typed "public" and forgot the "l"......If that's any indication of how my day is going. I'm going to go read another book to the toddler and pour orange juice and protein down her throat just in case there is another cold brewing in there! Wish me luck!

  

Random Acts of Kindness

I worked at a Florist for a while as a floral designer. I loved that job!! Flowers make people happy... for the most part. When I arrived at work one of the first things I would do is wrap individual roses for the delivery drivers to hand out to random strangers on their route that day. I loved the idea of it and often wondered what it was like to walk up to a total stranger and hand them a rose. Did the person weep with joy or question it as if it was rigged to explode?

Sometimes I wondered if the drivers even handed them out at all. Maybe they took them home to their wife and skipped on the random act. But then one day on my lunch break I decided to run to the bank and cash my check. I realized as I walked into the bank that I had forgotten to take off my apron. A woman approached me and said "I love your flower shop. I was having the worst day. My husband was in the hospital, not doing well at all and I have a bad knee. I was making my third trip of the day to see him and I was emotionally and physically drained. One of your drivers gave me a rose as I was getting on the elevator. It made my day."

I didn't even give her the flower but I wrapped it and it made me feel good to be a part of something like that. To know that I took part in turning someones day around. There was a time when I was usually the reason someones day went to hell. Not something I'm proud of but now I am on a mission to be a better person.

Anyway, like a lot of people, I'm on facebook. Recently I received an invite to take part in a birthday celebration. A friend of a friend was having a birthday and wanted people to join her in a day of Random Acts of Kindness. I didn't hesitate! I joined!

Well, her birthday rolled around and I set off about my business, taking the kids to school, picking them up, laundry, gas station. I didn't have any money to spare. Every penny I had went in the gas tank. See, my idea of a Random Act is paying for someones fountain drink or buying a kid a fifteen cent sucker. That wasn't an option for me though. I was broke. I had to think about it, what should I do?

I decided that holding my tongue and not telling people off was an act of kindness but quickly corrected myself when I heard that little angel on my shoulder whisper, "You idiot! That's common courtesy! Not a random act" and yes, she talks to me that way.

I was in a bad mood, tired, sick and ready to climb in bed but still hadn't completed my random act of kindness. I felt like Mrs. Scrooge. I'm a bad person. I asked myself what would help turn my day around.

A COMPLIMENT!!

So, I searched the house for loose change and drove to the gas station to buy a 2 liter of pop... or soda for the kids. They'd appreciate that! I waited in line and when it was my turn to pay for my purchase I looked at the haggard woman standing behind the counter. She was wearing a pair of peacock feather earrings. I said "I like your earrings. They bring out the pretty blue in your eyes." She looked at me, arched both eyebrows and said "You a lesbian or something?" I stood, stunned... speechless and the line of people behind me erupted in laughter. They laughed long and hard. One man actually had tears in his eyes.

I don't see it as defeat, her calling me out on my compliment wasn't a failed random act of kindness. Some people just don't know how to take a compliment. I may not have made her feel good but I think it's safe to say I made the folks in line behind me feel good. Even if it was at my own expense. So, here's a challenge. Today, I want you to pay someone a compliment. It doesn't even have to be a stranger. Do it and see what happens. Pay it forward.