Part 2

Let me start by saying that I am far from tidy when it comes to my house. We live in our house! That means, we play, we cook, we lounge, we goof off and we create in this house and that involves a lot of stuff. Stuff doesn't always get put away when we are done. I have a motto. A clean house is a sign of a wasted life. Before the toddler came around I kept a tidy house except for the occasional rubbermade tote of craft supplies that would get left on the dining room table. There was dirty laundry and dirty dishes but it was always where it needed to be, in the laundry basket or the sink. Nowadays, I can't say that happens. I'm on the move so much, taking kids to school, picking kids up, working on other peoples projects that I don't always take the time to put things away or delegate to others to do it or suffer the wrath! I just don't have the energy! And now that I'm planning a wedding there are boxes of wedding crap everywhere. If there isn't a box you are sure to see a happy meal toy or stuffed animal! So, now I've painted a picture of my house!

When I left off last I was frantically scrubbing green sharpie marker off of my forehead with tequila! (We were all out of rubbing alcohol) I don't like the smell of tequila. It has a powerful odor. Some people don't mind it and don't notice the pungent stench. I happen to have a sensitive nose and could probably work for the FBI as a tracking hound! Just saying! It stinks! I'm not sure how it could get worse but it does when someone knocks on my front door!! I can only imagine the look on my face. Utter terror I am sure! But, I remember that I'm expecting my sons replacement kindle from amazon and that the knock is probably the Fed Ex man. I will probably never see the Fed Ex man again and even if I do who cares if he sees me this way, in mix matched pajamas, greasy bed head, and a green line across my forehead that unfortunately takes all of your attention away from the mascara that has been smeared across the rest of my face! I look great! The Fed Ex guy is about to beat down my door. Apparantly, he doesn't want to wait out there forever so I take off through the house, sprinting for the front door, I step on a toy, my knee buckles and just as I go down I can see through my front window that it isn't the Fed Ex man! It's my neighbor from across the street and she is peeping in my window, watching the whole ugly scene unfold! I pick myself up, open the front door and squint into the sunlight at her. I can only imagine what she's thinking right now! Look at me! I'm a mess and to top it all off, I wreak of booze! Ugh! I've never met this woman! This should set a great first impression! I open the door and she goes into this long speech about how her car was broken into last night and she wonders if I saw anything. I tell her No but she looks skeptical. I can't imagine why! I reasure her that I was sound asleep and that if I hear anything next time I will sound the alarm! She seems satisfied with that and treks back across the yard to her tidy little home where her children probably don't write on her forehead with markers. What kind of life is that?

Did the Tequila take the marker off of my forehead? Not completely! I had a faint mark across my forehead. I wore a hat that day to cover it. In the end I learned a few valuable lessons. Hide the markers whether they are crayola or sharpie. Lesson 2: It's never too early to give the tattoo speech! (Tattoos are super cool, just not on your forehead) and last but not least.......shut the curtains and put on a bra if it's daylight!

Finding Humor in a shot of Tequila

I love to color. Always have. When I was a kid I collected coloring books the way boys collected baseball cards. I always had a big box of crayons that I was very particular about. I didn't want anyone to sharpen them or misuse them. They were precious to me. I didn't want anyone coloring in my coloring books either! I had certain pages in certain coloring books that were reserved just for me. I must've been a pain in the butt as a kid!

Coloring is an activity that I have tried to interest my own kids in. Not only is it a relaxing past time but it's an easy way to give yourself a sense of accomplishment. Finishing a page always puts a smile on my face! It's all too often that kids turn to video games to pass the time. I don't expect my 16 year old son to grab a coloring book and crayons and lay in the floor and color instead of kill zombies on a video game. But you never know! My boys are teenagers and they've pretty much outgrew the coloring phase but occasionally they might pick up a coloring book......Bahaha....who am I kidding? lol They wouldn't do that now unless their little sister batted her eyelashes and said "Peeeez"!

My daughter who will be 3 this winter LOVES markers, crayons, ink pens and basically anything else she can make a mark with. I try to keep the sharpie markers away from her though! That's a dangerous writing utensil right there! I had to learn the hard way!

It's a funny story. Any story that involves my toddler usually is. She's a train wreck with pigtails. I was completely wiped out one day. Physically and emotionally. I laid down in bed to try to nap while she was playing in the living room, watching Little Einsteins. I was on the brink of balling my eyes out over the recent events in life. While she plays she tends to sing or humm. It's music to my ears. So when she came bopping into the bedroom singing and saying "Mama" I had to smile. She can be so sweet. I kept my eyes closed. It's a little game we play. I pretend I'm asleep and she pokes me in the shoulder and repeats "Mama" over and over and over until I break! That day I got one "Mama". Nothing else. I thought that was strange. I could sense that she was still standing there. Just as I popped one eye open I felt something wet across my forehead. My eyes didn't want to focus. Then as she says "Pretty!" I see the marker in her hand! GREEN! SHARPIE MARKER! It's on my forehead! Eeeeek! I jump out of bed with the speed and agility of an elephant, tangling myself in the blankets even more as I attempt to flee to the mirror! I am going to cry! My Goodness! It's not washing off with soap! How do you get marker off of skin? Rubbing alcohol! Ok! Have you ever seen the movie with Sean Connery where he goes to the amazon to research a cure for cancer. It's called "Medicine Man". His research partner in the movie unknowingly gets a tattoo on her forehead. I feel like that woman right now! Because in my mind I'm blowing things out of proportion and telling myself that this green line is never going to wash off! I'll be sporting this artwork in my wedding pictures.......Over my dead body! So I set out in search of rubbing alcohol. At this point my forehead is just about raw from all of the scrubbing. I've tried everything to get this marker off! We don't have any rubbing alcohol at all! Not in a bottle and not in those handy little alcohol wipes! How is this possible? My brain is working overtime. What would MacGyver do? Ummm.....Well, I think a bomb would be overkill. Maybe I'm consulting the wrong person. What would Stephanie Plum do? Now there's the professional I need to ask! And I think she would go with something similar to rubbing alcohol. Hello? Alcohol!

I don't drink! But occasionally we will have a family get together and family members will leave a bottle of alcohol at the house so they don't have an open container in their car on the way home. So I break into the liquor cabinet. And by break in, I mean I remove all of the cleaning supplies from under the sink! What do we have? Very cheap Vodka, Watermelon shcnapps, Butterschotch Schnapps, Bacardi Rum and a couple drops of Tequila! Nothing irritates me more than when people leave a drop of tea in the jug or a drop of soy sauce in the bottle. It's no different with alcohol! So, I go with the Tequila just to eliminate the irritation! Keep in mind. It's not even noon on a school day and I'm rubbing Tequila on my forehead like a maniac! My daughter has gotten over the shock of me screaming while frantically running through the house. Now she's sitting on the bathroom floor with a dry cotton ball rubbing her own forehead! I can't help but laugh at the situation. It gets better but I think I'll save that for another day! Sorry things to do!

Learning to share

I am the only child that my Mother gave birth to. I wasn't alone as a child though. I was never an only child. I learned to share more than just my barbies. I shared my Mom with my cousins and it wasn't always easy. There were times when I didn't want to share my Mom who worked 2 jobs at times to make ends meet. There were times when I felt like I didn't get to see her enough and then when I did I had to compete with others for her attention. But now I am so grateful for my cousins and the fact that they are sharing my Mom with me. And when Mom gets too old and becomes a burden I have someone to help me pack her things and drive her to the nursing home! Stop it! I'm just kidding! Geesh! As if I would actually put my Mom in a nursing home! Goodness! They have those fancy assisted living places now! I'd take her there! No, seriously. I think about my Mom getting older and it scares me. Not because there's a good chance that she will loose her mind from all of the stress she is under but I know I will be responsible for her the way she is responsible for my Granny. I'm scared I will let her down. It has to be hard when you have to parent your own parent. Driving her to doctors appointments, making sure she is taking her medications and the emotional heartache that goes along with it. It's a sad thing and I don't look forward to it but I'm glad I'm not alone.

I'm at the point with the toddler where I have to teach her that it's Ok to share. I'm finding that I am not a good teacher. I don't think I'm getting through to her. See, Her brother is on a Lego kick. He brings out the Gynormous container of Legos and let me tell you this thing has about a million legos in it and even though she doesn't meet the age requirements, we let her play with them anyway. He gives her a few legos to play with and she decides that it isn't good enough. She wants to take apart one of his engenious inventions but he isn't letting her do that so she turns into the 200 ft tall girl and stomps on his creations! I think the next lesson will be "Don't be Greedy!" followed up by a brief lecture on how it's important NOT to destroy other peoples property in vingance (you know, cuz she's 2 and she most certainly will sit still for that speech)! NO I'm not taking new students! Anyway, we're teaching her to share. But we usually end up trying to explain to her that throwing a tantrum isn't going to get her what she wants. I'm telling you, this parenting gig is a lot of work!

So, how do you teach a child to share? Well, I think you have to be patient and remember that contrary to what someones father once said, they are not born with a built in program chip in thier brain. You have to teach them right from wrong and with some kids you have to explain, repeat and repeat again. But it also helps if you lead by example and compromise. Take turns. One kid gets it for a very short period of time while the other kid holds something else. I think taking turns shows that they will get what they want if they are patient. I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone else but me. But it's my philosphy. I learned that from experience. I am sharing my Mom. Sometimes I get her and sometimes someone else gets her. I don't always have to like it but if I'm patient then I will get my time with my Mom. I'm anxiously waiting to have some time with my Mom. I miss my Mom.

This one is for me

I've helped plan a few baby showers, bridal showers and in the past 6 months have consulted 6 brides. I don't get paid to do these things. I do it because I like to do it. This is something I've learned about myself in the past year. I like to plan a celebration! I like the personal touches that people add to a celebration. I like the creative part of it. But what I really love is to make people smile. Now, if you know me, you might be thinking "Really? You? Like to make people smile?". It's true. I wasn't always this positive or pleasant to be around and making people smile was very low on my list of things I enjoyed. I've come a long way. If I had a blog 3 years ago it would've been called "The Evolution of ME". Because I have changed. I realize that there are folks out there that don't believe people can change. I use to be one of them until I found myself changing. I went from sad and angry, never seeing the positive to Happy, fun loving, always looking for the good or the lesson. There's always a lesson to be learned.

So, here I am, helping plan celebrations. I've made invitations and party favors, which I do get paid for. Brides tell me they want to go with a certain theme and I get busy brainstorming. But the wedding that I am working on right now is for ME! And I happen to be the worst bride I have ever worked with!! I have the worst case of bride brain. I find myself looking at random objects, wondering how I could incorporate it into a wedding!! It's getting out of control! When I first started the planning process I chose the direction I wanted to go in and then did the complete opposite of that! Luckily I saw the light before it was too late. Whew! It's easy to get off track. Especially with all of the wedding magazines and blogs out there. Don't even get me started on the wedding reality TV. Don't get me wrong I love love love David Tutera. But, watching those shows is what made my mind go racing off in the wrong direction. I saw all of these amazing ideas and thought I need to add that to my wedding! The problem is, it's not in my budget and I don't need it! Bless my little heart! I have seen the light!

So, here is my advice to anybody planning a wedding. Don't lose sight of what this celebration is really about! It's about You and your partner making a commitment to love, support and basically tolerate each others bad habits for the rest of your life! It is not about fancy napkins, over priced favors or your family's friends from work who buy expensive gifts! (However, For me, it is totally partially about damn tasty CAKE! And having Fun with awesome pictures to prove it!)

See it. Want it. Make it.

I am an Etsy.com fan! I have an Etsy shop where I have a handful of things listed for sale. Necklaces and cupcake pix mostly. The few things that I do have for sale do not represent a fraction of the things that I make. I'm the friend that you call when you see something you like and decide that you have to have it for your wedding, birthday party, grad party, bridal shower....well, you get the idea. I make things, crafty things. Things to decorate your space during a party or celebration. I make invitations and party favors. I don't know how I became that friend, the one you call when you need something done (not the assassin friend. NOT that kind of need something done!) But, I get it done.

This week I'm working on cupcake pix or cupcake toppers. Cupcakes are a big thing right now. You can get these fancy decorative stands to display them on or cool wrappers! The possibilities are endless. People love them. Cupcake pix are like the fancy wheels you put on a car! They make any piece of crap look cool! I've made cupcake pix for many occasion. A divorce party! A few birthday parties! Baby Showers! Graduation Parties! Weddings! Going away parties. Blah blah blah! They are really easy to make and honestly if you're limited on time it's still one of those projects that you can do! Seriously! All, you need to make a simple cupcake topper is: Toothpicks, scrapbook paper, a computer, scissors, hot glue gun and a glue stick. I would avoid using glitter.....I know this from experience. It does not taste good on lemon cupcakes!

But if you want to get super fancy you can add rhinestones or ribbon etc. Like I said endless possibilities! I made minnie mouse pix for my daughters 2nd birthday. They were the first ones I ever made. I was browsing Etsy for ideas for her party, ran across the theme and decided hey I can do that! So I did! Don't be afraid to try things. You'd be surprised at how empowering it is to tackle a project and come out victorious. Even if you don't make the best cupcake topper in the universe, YOU made it! That makes it special and if you turn it into a family project then that's even more special! So, the next time you see something crafty and you think you need it. MAKE IT! Or find a friend who can! :)

I'll have a #1 with a side of sarcasm. To Go!

It has certainly been a sad year so far. My family lost an important part of our group a couple of days ago. I am dealing with my guilt issues but it's still hard to take for all of us. My uncle was a great man. A motorcycle accident left him paralyzed when I was a child. But when you thought of my uncle the first thing that came to mind wasn't usually wheelchair. At least for me it wasn't. Even as I think of him now, a rush of memories come into my mind. He was a taxidermist, a biker, a friend, a father, a smart ass til the end I'm sure and he was also a hunter. He didn't let the wheelchair stop him. He lived. He taught me so many things throughout my life. I remember when I was a teenager, before I acquired my sense of humor. My Mom and I lived with him and his wife and daughter. One night when I was going to be home alone I told him that I didn't want to be there by myself. We hadn't lived with them long and since we had just moved to Michigan from Florida I wasn't familiar with the area. We were out in the middle of NOWHERE and even town was the middle of nowhere if you asked me! Anyway, I expressed my concerns, saying I was worried that some crazed lunatic might try to break in while they were gone. Keep in mind, I was a teenager at the time and it's customary for teenage girls to be overly dramatic! So, there I was imagining every possible scenario from every serial killer stalker movie I could think of. And you know what he said? My dear sweet Uncle said "You're right! Someone will most likely bust the door down and take you prisoner and demand millions of dollars for your safe return! I better show you where the guns are!" I didn't think he was funny. I was seriously freaked out by the idea of being alone in that house. He knew that. He wasn't trying to scare me. He wanted to make me see how ridiculous I was being about the whole thing. So he gives me verbal instructions on where the gun is and how to use it. I stood there with a terrified look on my face! But it didn't stop them. Ten minutes later they loaded up and left. I turned on every light in the house. Turned on the TV to let people know someone was home and then I locked myself in the bedroom. I was home alone for about 30 minutes when the first call came. It was my uncle. He said "I forgot to tell you! If you shoot someone while they are climbing in the window make sure they fall into the house! If the cops find the guy laying on the porch with a bullet in his ass you're going to be in trouble!" Then he hung up. Great! Now I'm really kinda freaked out! I'm imagining some mental hospital escapee crawling in the window while I fumble with the gun. I didn't even have the gun in my hand!! I wouldn't touch the gun. I was afraid of it. He called every 30 minutes or so to ask me how it was going. At the time I thought he was just being a pain in the butt. Now I realize he was just trying to be funny and make sure I was OK. I think that's when my sense of humor was born and I started learning the art of sarcasm. I miss him. So the moral of the story is.........

Time out

I think I need to take a Time Out to laugh. It's not such an easy thing to do in a time like this but I think occasionally you have to put down the box of kleenex, put on your big girl panties, slap on another coat of waterproof mascara and laugh out loud! Example:

The family and I took a road trip to my Moms last month to see my Granny who was a little under the weather. It was an emotional trip for me. My Granny and I had a falling out a few years ago and we hadn't really talked much since. But she's my Granny. She helped raise me. I love her so much. I couldn't stay mad and I wanted her to know that I was still here for her. We got there and I had myself I nice little breakdown. The reality that people don't last forever was weighing on my mind and crushing my heart. The thought of someone you love slipping away, becoming someone you don't recognize is such a sad thing. I wanted to crawl into the hide-a-bed and not come out the entire visit. But, I have such a wonderful support group and they wouldn't let me.

My Mom buys all kinds of inexpensive things to keep the kids entertained. She bought some punch balloons from the dollar store. The kids found them, blew them up and proceeded to harass me with them until I laughed out loud. I laughed until I cried. My jaw actually hurt the next day from laughing! It was a nice break from the sad reality that crippled me when we walked in the door earlier that week.

It has been a couple of weeks since we came home from Mom's. Granny is up and about but now my uncle who is near and dear to my heart is down. The Munchkin and I took another time out one day after I had a breakdown in McDonald's. [awkward] We headed straight to Target where they sell punch balloons. $2.49 for a pack of 6 brightly colored balloons! On the way out I stopped at the food court for some popcorn and a fountain drink. I blew up every single one of those balloons in the food court of Target and Eden went to town with those things. I laughed so hard. She is a maniac with a punch balloon. I got a few crazy looks but over all people enjoyed it. I think it's important to NOT take yourself too seriously. .......Seriously! Get a grip on the good times people! Have a Laugh or two! If you can't find an activity to make you laugh there's always youtube!

Here it goes

This is my first official post to my first blog. [crickets chirping] I feel like the dancing frog on Bugs Bunny. He dances and sings but when the curtain is pulled and the lights are up he just sits there. So here I am......... sitting. Trying to think of something witty, inspirational or entertaining. But the truth is, I'm just not feeling any of those things right now. Because right now I'm just sad. And to make things worse I'm having some guilt issues. Don't worry, I didn't put ex-lax in the brownies for the work potluck or put a flaming bag of dog poop on someone's door step. But now that I think of it, I did put an opened jar of pickled herring in someones car......during the summer.......Ok so that made me giggle a little! Anyway, No, it's not that. Someone I love dearly is not in the best of health. He is barely hanging on. I haven't seen him in years. I don't call, I don't write and I can't remember the last time I sent him a father's day card to tell him that he was the closest thing to a father I ever knew and that I learned so much from him. There are so many lessons in life to be learned. And when you have an amazing teacher it makes it all so much easier.





He probably wouldn't see himself as a teacher. But I beg to differ. He gave me the best parenting advice. See, I started having kids at a young age. I had never been a big fan of kids and didn't plan on EVER having any.Yet, there I was, 19, pregnant and completely clueless! He told me that the most important thing to remember about parenting is to be consistent and always be prepared to follow through with your threats! Don't threaten to do things that you simply can't do! I use that philosophy every single day. And let me tell you, it's words to live by. He taught me the art of sarcasm and that the delivery of a backhanded compliment can be a beautiful thing. I don't have one bad memory of him and that's probably why I can't bring myself to see him right now. I want to remember him the way I last saw him because the truth is, I'm a weak person. I break down in the middle of Target reading greeting cards. So, I want to carry the good memories with me. That seems a little selfish to me sometimes. I'm not normally a selfish person. This is a hard thing for me to cope with. I hope he can forgive me. I hope you can bear with my while I laugh through the pain some way or another. I need a time out.