I'll have a #1 with a side of sarcasm. To Go!

It has certainly been a sad year so far. My family lost an important part of our group a couple of days ago. I am dealing with my guilt issues but it's still hard to take for all of us. My uncle was a great man. A motorcycle accident left him paralyzed when I was a child. But when you thought of my uncle the first thing that came to mind wasn't usually wheelchair. At least for me it wasn't. Even as I think of him now, a rush of memories come into my mind. He was a taxidermist, a biker, a friend, a father, a smart ass til the end I'm sure and he was also a hunter. He didn't let the wheelchair stop him. He lived. He taught me so many things throughout my life. I remember when I was a teenager, before I acquired my sense of humor. My Mom and I lived with him and his wife and daughter. One night when I was going to be home alone I told him that I didn't want to be there by myself. We hadn't lived with them long and since we had just moved to Michigan from Florida I wasn't familiar with the area. We were out in the middle of NOWHERE and even town was the middle of nowhere if you asked me! Anyway, I expressed my concerns, saying I was worried that some crazed lunatic might try to break in while they were gone. Keep in mind, I was a teenager at the time and it's customary for teenage girls to be overly dramatic! So, there I was imagining every possible scenario from every serial killer stalker movie I could think of. And you know what he said? My dear sweet Uncle said "You're right! Someone will most likely bust the door down and take you prisoner and demand millions of dollars for your safe return! I better show you where the guns are!" I didn't think he was funny. I was seriously freaked out by the idea of being alone in that house. He knew that. He wasn't trying to scare me. He wanted to make me see how ridiculous I was being about the whole thing. So he gives me verbal instructions on where the gun is and how to use it. I stood there with a terrified look on my face! But it didn't stop them. Ten minutes later they loaded up and left. I turned on every light in the house. Turned on the TV to let people know someone was home and then I locked myself in the bedroom. I was home alone for about 30 minutes when the first call came. It was my uncle. He said "I forgot to tell you! If you shoot someone while they are climbing in the window make sure they fall into the house! If the cops find the guy laying on the porch with a bullet in his ass you're going to be in trouble!" Then he hung up. Great! Now I'm really kinda freaked out! I'm imagining some mental hospital escapee crawling in the window while I fumble with the gun. I didn't even have the gun in my hand!! I wouldn't touch the gun. I was afraid of it. He called every 30 minutes or so to ask me how it was going. At the time I thought he was just being a pain in the butt. Now I realize he was just trying to be funny and make sure I was OK. I think that's when my sense of humor was born and I started learning the art of sarcasm. I miss him. So the moral of the story is.........