aka "Mom"

I don't know if I would call myself the "cool" Mom. I don't host pizza parties for the kids or let them stay out past their curfew (because in order to do that they would have to leave the couch). When I became a Mom I did what most women do. I got lost in Mommyville. I lost myself to the role of Mom. I stopped having fun that didn't involve crafts with the kids. I stopped wearing make up or "doing" my hair (mostly because big hair was no longer in and who has the time for that anyway?). I packed away my hopes and dreams and traded them in for first words and baby teeth. I was drowning in it. I lost myself completely. To the point where I had no idea who I even was.....I mean I couldn't remember myself anymore. Looking at pictures of myself as a teenager, I just couldn't imagine who that girl was anymore. It all seemed so foreign to me.

And here I am with 2 teenage boys and a 3 year old daughter. They look at those photos and wonder the same thing. Who is that girl? What was she thinking? Do you think your kids do that too? Boy, if they only knew!

Once upon a time, I was a get away driver! Don't worry, the police weren't involved. At one time I was hopelessly in love with the wrong person and got my heart broken. I was shy, I was lost, I was not like other girls, I had my nose pierced, I had massively huge hair and used mass quanitities of hair spray! I wanted to travel! I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. But I knew how to laugh! I loved a practical joke as long as it wasn't aimed at me! I hated to lose a bet but always paid up! I wrote poetry. I sang in the shower. I hated doing the dishes, still do. I was crafty, still am. I got my nose broken by a boy who didn't know what NO meant! Then he got a broken knee cap. I was good with a bat, just not good at baseball. I was me.........Now I'm Mom. There's still a hint of the old me in here somewhere. I still know how to laugh. Although, I lost that for a bit. I remembered how to put on make up! A lot of people are clapping about that! I still want to travel. I stopped singing in the shower, now I sing in the car....with the windows down......in the school parking lot.....as school is letting out........bahaha! I have healed my heart. I have learned to love. I still love crafts with the kids. But mostly I craft for myself, doing what I love and letting the wind take me in the next direction. I am not lost anymore. I'm learning that I'm more than a Mom. Even if it isn't the cool mom. I don't care about that. I have "ME" back.

Unfortunately, when we have babies they don't come equipped with a GPS to keep us from getting lost. And I'm not sure I can tell you how to get back to where you  want to be. I'm horrible with directions. All I can say is...........Never let go of who you are for anyone in the world. Even your children. There's this saying "Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most". WRONG! Of all the things I've lost, I missed MYSELF the most! Now, don't get me wrong. I am not saying you shouldn't change. Because it's important that you EVOLVE. We go from being a silly teenage girl (sometimes) to being a responsible mother. That requires evolution, change. We trade the partying in for a different kind of fun. Our priorities have to change but we don't have to lose ourselves. You'll shed layers and add more. This is how we teach our children to follow their dreams............... We follow ours.