Moving on......
The toddler. Miss E. Her royal highness. She has many names here at the Imperfectionists Guide. She's three years old.....Is she still a toddler? Anyway, doesn't matter. Lately, she has decided that she is indeed, a BOY! At first, I thought "Well, we haven't explained to her what makes boys and girls different." and now that we've told her over and over that she is a girl, she still insists that she is a boy. Actually, she gets very upset if you try to tell her otherwise.
This is where I unveil my true identity......I'm a selfish Mama. I want my baby girl, the pretty little princess that likes to wear pigtails and cute frilly outfits and sparkly shoes. I have two teenage boys. I've always been outnumbered and it would be great to have my sweet baby girl to paint toenails with.
But, then there's the side of me that wants a child who is happy with her own identity or comfortable in her own skin. I don't want her to feel awkward at all. Being a kid, nowadays, is hard enough.
And as I write this, she is changing her clothes yet again, something more girly, complete with sequined hat! I don't ask if she's a boy or girl today. I just go with the flow, skaking my head and smiling.
Some days she brings me the hair brush and ponytail holder and asks me to put her hair up. Other days she refuses to let me because she says "Boys don't wear their hair up!" I feel like I live with someone with multiple personalities!
When I was a teenager I pierced my nose with a very large safety pin. Yikes! My Mom was furious and refused to look at me while I had the tiny gold ball in my nose. I didn't do it because my friends thought it was cool. I did it because it felt right (nevermind the fact that it hurt like hell)! I don't know how many times people stopped and asked me "Why?" and at that age, 16 or 17, I had no idea to explain to people that I did it because I wanted to. Most people didn't understand that concept. They only understood "right and wrong" or what was acceptable. My Mom, being the super MOM that she is told me to keep the hideous gold ball but she wasn't happy about it. Eventually, it ran its course and I took it out, only to repierce my nose many many years later! It's who I am. I have tattoos and I wouldn't change it for anything. I don't mind being different.
So, here I am, with a daughter who is undecided on her gender. Or is she? Maybe she's surrounded by so many boys that she has taken on thier identity, fitting in with the crowd. Maybe Mama needs to wear more dresses and makeup! lol Maybe like me and my nose piercing, she will grow out of it and take it back up when she's an unhappy adult! We will see! :)
