Keep Your Head Up & Your Mouth Shut

Recently I recieved an email from a friend who is going through a divorce. She asked me how I got through it without harming anyone. I literally laughed out loud and then I typed....

"I didn't."

The truth is, I hurt a few people when I was going through my break-up. I didn't throw anyone to the ground, wrap my arms around thier neck and squeeze til they tapped out. Now that I think about it, I had enough rage to do that to someone. But, I didn't physically hurt anyone.

NO. I used words.

I was so angry with my ex-husband, the father of my children that I couldn't see straight. Did I channel that negativity at him? No. I let everyone else have it. Cousins, friends, co-workers, cashiers. I did not discriminate. Don't misunderstand. My ex felt my wrath. But, mostly I kept it to a minimum to save my kids.

My friend replied:

"I am doing the same thing and I don't like myself for it. But, I can't stop."

Oh! I understand that completely! I've said it before, it's as if a demon has taken over your body and you can't control the anger. But, I'll tell you. It will fade away if you stop holding on to it and stop looking for things to fuel the fire. Let it go. If you're on pinterest you've seem the motivational posts, "Let your past make you better, not Bitter!". Well, that's what you have to do. Take the experience and use it as a lesson learned. Then move forward. Don't dwell on the negative things that brought you to this point in your life. It isn't going to help you progress. You know how when you're driving and the jerk behind you is using his/her bright lights and you have to adjust your mirror so you can see. Well, that's exactly what you need to do now. Adjust your view and stop focusing on the bad stuff. Don't get me wrong, if you're husband gives you a black eye, apologizes and then does it again you don't need to forget about that. You chalk that up to a lesson learned and don't let it happen again. (Then take a kick boxing class) I pity the fool.

It will all be okay! I know it's hard. I fought with my anger many times. But, the next time you feel the urge to beat someone into unconsciousness with your words, stop! This is only adding fuel to the fire and it won't help you move forward. All this is doing is burning bridges. Life is a journey. We can't afford to burn any bridges along the way. Sometimes burning bridges makes it hard to get back to the things that we lost that meant the most to us.

How do you move forward? Well, you have to look at this way. This is kind of a new start. Do you have a bucket list? Start checking things off of your list and start living your life for you. If you're afraid of being alone then surround yourself with people who will have a positive impact on your life. If you have children this is an important step. Not only do you need the good vibes but your kids need it to.

So, my dear friend, keep your head up & your mouth shut and everything will work out if you put the effort into it.