The Imperfectionists Guide: Haters Gonna Hate

The Imperfectionists Guide: Haters Gonna Hate: "It will never cease to amaze me how ignorant people can be or how hurtful they can be when sharing their opinion, which I never asked for..."

Favor Friday

Hi! My name is Mad Maven and I'm addicted to my glue gun. I used it to put the handle back on my silverware drawer and then used it to glue a cup to the inside of the cabinet. (It was my favorite cup and when I wanted to use it, it was never clean! It will be now! he he!) Anyway, It's almost Friday and I think it's going to be a ritual that every Friday I come up with a new party favor idea for the bride on a budget who isn't afraid of a few burns from a hot glue gun or cuts from a paper trimmer!


This Friday I'm tackling a special request from a very good friend of mine who I often refer to as "Stripper". She is the reason I am the party person that I am. She has employed me on several occasions to do her dirty work. She gives me the theme and I run with it, like scissors! I'm fearless and that's easy to do when it's not your money you're spending! Kidding! I always try to concoct favors and party elements that are wallet friendly! I think fun should be affordable. I'm here to make people happy, not rob them blind. If I was out to rob you I would ditch the Bunny ears and hot pink pajama pants when I work. Trade it in for all black and night vision goggles!


So, anyway, Stripper calls me a while back and says "Maven, I need you to throw a shopping list together for a cowgirl birthday party that I'm planning!" You see how she does that? "I need YOU to put together a list for a party that I am planning!" Joker! She really means, plan this party for me and I will pay for the crap I need, then I'll take all of the credit or pimp you out in the end! She knows I love her and as she reads this from a hotel room in Australia she is laughing out loud because she knows it's a true story and she loves me back! So, I make the list, complete with decorations that are stripper compatible and then I lay out the favor list. I love party favors! The party is for a 10 year old girl who is totally devoted to her horses. So a cowgirl party was a smart idea. The day would start out with brunch followed up with a long horse ride leading to a secondary party location where the girls will enjoy a picnic lunch and cake. We're talking a 2 hour ride. These girls are hard core! They saddle those horses up to go the distance. They aren't jumping fences and racing around barrels. So my idea for a favor was individual trail mix bags. A plain lunch bag, brown paper bag, whatever you want to call it. Fill it with homemade or store bought trail mix and tie a bandanna around it to close the bag! The Girls get a cool bandanna and a snack! There you go! It's something that they will use! I think people sometimes get caught up in the cuteness of a favor that they don't stop to think, will this be a waste of my money? It's like handing out potpourri sashes at a wedding. I'm sorry but guys attend weddings too! They don't give a flying fart in space if they have a potpourri sash to take home. Save those for the Bridal Shower Girls! This also reminds me of a friend who handed out sample size bottles of her and her fiances favorite whiskey at her reception! Who exactly had the privilege of policing those favors? I'm sure there were at least a handful of teenagers who were happy you had that awesome idea!


Well, happy Friday folks! I'm already working on next Fridays favor! And I will have pictures! I promise! ..............................Hey! Who unplugged my glue gun!? Cowards!

Haters Gonna Hate

It will never cease to amaze me how ignorant people can be or how hurtful they can be when sharing their opinion, which I never asked for in the first place! I'm not wearing a T-shirt that says "How's my crafting? Call 1-800-SHUT-IT" So, please keep your negative Hater speech to yourself ! Geesh! ....... Whew! There. That feels better. I wish I could say I hate to put this on you like that but, I'd like to share my frusrtation with you! lol! You don't mind!

It all started because I was a pink polka dot fabric away from being done with my bunting. (Bunting is that fancy flag decoration that people hang from the ceiling at parties and used car lots......at carnivals and yard sales....you know! The flags are shaped like triangles or rectangles! Yeah. Those!) Nothing a quick trip to the local fabric/craft store wouldn't fix! I had a coupon. It's all good! I knew right where the fabric was that I needed so I grabbed it, got in line at the cutting table and struck up a convo with the lady wielding the scissors. She spied the fabric I was holding and knew just what it was for. I told her my plans during an earlier trip for white muslin. She loved the idea and said she wanted to see the finished product! So, here we were discussing how the bunting project was going and this nosey lady in line behind me starts putting in her two cents. Normally I wouldn't mind. I like to talk! But she was really opinionated and negative. It was almost to the point of being a bully! So, I turned my back to her and ignored her questions and comments. She didn't seem to get the hint. Too subtle for her I guess! She kept on about how horrible she thought my bunting idea was! Ummmmm....Them's fightin' words Heffer!

My theme for the wedding is a DIY vintage country chic affair. I'm not trying to be glamorous or perfect! I just want to do it and not spend a fortune. That's why I haven't paid full price for anything I've gotten for the wedding so far! Not because I'm cheap but I'm on a serious budget. We have teenagers, a toddler and a spoiled rotten cat to provide for! I can't afford to be willy-nilly with the money, know what I'm saying? So in order to keep the cost down and stay with my theme I decided to use old fabric I hi-jacked from my Granny mixed in with some new clearance/sale fabric, all of which matches my color scheme. I chose to leave the edges of the material un-sewn for that vintage feel and instead of taking the time to cut out 14 ft long pieces of fabric to use as my line I got the idea to use twine! It's very country and cheap and well, I like it! I hot glued the fabric flags on to make it look like I took the time to sew them on and I think it looks lovely! I'm very happy with the way it turned out. I could go on and on about how happy I am about them. But I'll spare you this time! So anyhoo, the Hater in line behind me found fault with everything about my bunting. She didn't like the fact that the fabric could fray! The twine! Oh lord I thought she'd pass out when I said I used twine! Apparantly, twine isn't wedding appropriate! lol! Neither is my groom! But he'll be there! She wanted to know what I had written on the flags of the bunting. I answered "nothing". She said "well isn't that the whole point of bunting?". I nicely replied "Not in this case! I needed something to dress up the windows without taking away from the rest of the room! And that's just what it does!". Well, that only prompted her to explain to me why she thought it was going to look awful and how I'd be sorry for doing it that way! I can only take so much until a sarcastic comment sneaks out of the corner of my mouth! And that was the moment! A stranger who has never met me or has no idea what my "STYLE" is has the audacity to tell me that I will be sorry for creating something I have dreamed about in my wedding dreams.......Oh Heck NO she didn't! So, I said "When did Martha Stewart die?". There was a long pause. Everyone in line was quiet. There were a lot of confused looks, then the Hater says "Oh! Dear Lord?! Did she die [panic stricken]?" I said "Well, she must have died and left you the planner police! Because you seem to think you know how to run my show!! You have all these opinions about my creation and whether or not I will be happy with it! ". Finally! The woman stops talking! The crappy comments have ceased and her mouth is hanging open! Ahhhh! Sweet silence! So, I grabbed my polka dot fabric and cashed in my coupon at the door!

For a minute she made me second guess myself. Then I remembered how happy I was when I finished that 1st section of bunting, hung it up and fell in love with it! Woman! Hate my bunting all you want! But, I love it and that's all that matters! So, if you're planning a wedding or any other social event and you are in love with your success, don't let a Hater get you down! A Hater's gonna hate! You just go on with your bad self and blow your own horn! Don't let 'em sway you from your vision! It's just that.....YOUR VISION!! If you make something and then realize that your vision isn't quite right then that's your call! Don't let anybody else tell you otherwise.

Dream a little dream

When I was kid, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up! I just wanted to be happy! I felt like I was a failure for not having a ready answer for people when they asked me that question. SO I made something respectable up! "I want to be a Nurse" or "I'm going to be a teacher". Well, now I'm older and I still don't know what I want to be. So I'm trying a lot of different things. That doesn't make me a failure and it doesn't mean I'm doing anything wrong. I feel like I'm doing things right by being true to myself and not giving up on my dreams. Sure there are lot of dreams that I haven't even begun to dive into, ballroom dancing, being a bounty hunter or a coffee shop owner! And recently I added another dream to my list.....

I want to host bridal showers, baby showers or little girls tea parties. I will provide the vintage tea cups and plates. I can decorate and provide party favors, set up candy buffets and do story time for little princesses. People probably think it's silly. But it's a dream of mine. It's big in the UK. Not everyone has time to host a shower or birthday party and of course in this day and age most folks don't have the money to hire someone but it's still a dream. Something I might not ever accomplish because I have no business sense at all! But, I'll keep it in mind and keep figuring out ways to make the dream reality.

Whatever your dream is, Don't give up! Don't let anyone tell you that your dreams are silly. Keep dreaming. Keep using your imagination. It's a terrible thing to waste.

It could've been amazing

I feel like I need to write a eulogy for the amazing photo booth I had planned. See, I've had to ax it from the plans! It was too big for our simple wedding celebration and required too much manpower to get going! Loosely translated into, I couldn't get the man in my life to get busy and make it! Don't look at me! I'm not a carpenter! And in the end I find out that he doesn't think it's as cool as I do. Since this is his wedding too I guess I will go back to the drawing board! And I'm going to poke my lip out and be miserable about it til I come up with something cool enough to take it's place.

The photo booth I originally wanted could've been amazing! In my bride brain I pictured a kissing booth but on the sign where it says "Kissing" I was going to cross it off and write "Photo" above it! It was going to be an actual kissing booth with a jar marked "Kisses 25 cents" But the jar was filled with Hershey's Kisses! You just pose in front of or behind the booth, be silly, throw on a fake mustache or afro wig or crazy hat and take a picture! Just be Funny! BUT, I'm the only one that thought that was funny. So, I'm moving on.

I'm back at the drawing board, bored with all of the lame photo booth ideas I've come up with. So, I'm going to stop thinking about it and just go the simple route. An old suitcase of props set up in front of a cool background. Maybe I'll throw in a few chalk boards and some chalk, let folks say what's on their mind! That could be interesting! Especially with my family!

So, what do I need to get this project finished.......

Tripod, digital camera with a timer that I can figure out, props, blow up weapons, fake mustaches, wigs, hats, chalkboards, chalk, a chair, feather boas, old suitcase and well, I think that's it!

I don't like giving up on a project! But sometimes you have to. Otherwise it will consume you. So rather than being ran over continuously by this monster project, step away for a bit and ask yourself if it's worth it! Sometimes you just have to find the happy medium and go with that! It's Ok to mourn the project that could've been. Go ahead! Let it all out!

Know when to walk away

This isn't going to be about love or walking away from an abusive inconsiderate lying cheating person. This is about knowing when to stop! I'm not talking about smoking or drinking or bingo! Certainly not bingo! You can never have enough bingo in your life people! I'm talking about knowing when to walk away from a DIY project and say "I am done!". It's what you were shooting for when you started and now it's time to file it away and not make anymore changes! Don't touch it! You'll only make it into something you didn't want!

I know this from experience! I first learned this lesson as a teenager, when big hair ruled the school! Get up in the morning, turn on the curling iron, plug in the hair dryer and for about an hour you work on achieving big hair! You've achieved big hair but it just isn't good enough and the next thing you know you have 20 minutes til school starts and you're washing your hair again because you had so much aquanet caked on your hair it was hard to tell if your hair was brown or flakey white! Ohhhhh! It was rough times! Now that I'm working on my wedding I am learning this lesson again. First it was with a bouquet of flowers! That ended in me throwing my hands up and calling the florist! Some things are too important to massacre! For me, the flowers are a big deal! It's one of my passions which is also a curse because I want to get them just so! You know? Recently, I've had to ask someone to hide a necklace from me! When I envisioned my wedding day I saw myself as being girly but not immature, wearing pearls or something vintage. So, I set out to make a necklace.....Buying something is not an option! I had all of the supplies I needed. I made a necklace, looked at it for a few days, took it apart, made something different. This happened over and over again til I looked at that poor necklace and said "This is a disaster! It doesn't look a thing like the necklace in my head!". Ugh! I picked at it over and over til it was nothing like the one I wanted! I hated it! So, I took some time off. I packed it away until I was thinking clearly. I wanted something with pearls, something blue and something shiny vintage! But, I ran out of pearls! So, here I am with a half finished necklace til I get the funds to go to hobby lobby again! I fear the worst! If this necklace sits on my work table for another hour I will most likely tear it apart.....So, for now it's hiding from me in an undisclosed location! Poor thing!

Oh! Scrap!

While making my wedding invitations, save the dates, RSVP cards and other misc. wedding junk I accumulated a ton of scrap paper! I try not to waste paper! So, I saved it thinking that someday I would find a use for it. And at this moment there are angels singing in heaven because for once, the things I've been hoarding have been recycled into something easy to make and functional! High Five!

<----------Yep! That's it! Isn't it fancy! I planned on doing candles on the tables here and there but, thought they'd look better all dressed up. So, I have this cool paper punch that I bought from Joanne fabrics with my 50% off coupon! It's made by Martha Stewart but there are other brands and designs out there! Originally I bought the punch to use on someone else's favors. As a matter of fact this particular piece of paper is from someone else's project! he he! You could wrap a piece of ribbon around the votive once you get your scrap paper around it.....maybe add a rhinestone or a flower! Fun! I also used some of the scraps to make little "thank you" tags to hang on my tulle bags of lemon drops! I took my handy dandy hole punch, punched a hole in one end and with my scissors I cut my fancy flag end! I was lucky enough to be blessed with good handwriting so I just used a fine tip sharpee and wrote my little Thanks! Or you can have a friend do it if they have better handwriting. You could also make flags for your straws or stir sticks. Or if you're having a chocolate fountain you could put flags on skewers for people to use at the fountain. All you would need to do for that is make your little flag just like I made the Thank you tag but skip the step where you use the paper punch! Just wrap that end of the flag around your stick or straw and glue into place. On the skewers I don't see why you couldn't use a hot glue gun but if you're working with plastic straws you might want to try some of that double sided tape!So, in the end I think it was a pretty good idea and cheap. Now if I could just come up with a way to recycle the tine little pieces of paper left over from the hole punch! Happy Scrapping!

Do yourself a favor!

I make a little extra cash by making invites, party favors and simple party decor for weddings, showers and blah! blah! not to mention the little hair flower gig I have going on too. It's a nice set up I have. I get to work from home, it cuts back on the need for daycare or a sitter and well, it's pretty darn convenient! [Exhale!] But, I'm also a huge advocate of "Doing it yourself!". So, today I'm on the phone with a bride whom I have made invitations for in the past and now she is thinking about favors! I love favors! Such a great way to add a personal touch to your special event! There are so many themed favors out there now adays! It's not hard to get caught up in them all! So, today while I was talking to this bride she asked me what kind of favor I would do for her theme! I rambled on all of these ideas and then told her how easy it would be to do them herself! She went on and on about how she could never pull it off and that the only thing she has ever made was a mess! Yap! Yap! Yap! Well, I don't buy that! I think everyone has the potential to be creative! Don't sell yourself short! You just have to find something you're passionate about! In the end I talked her into whipping up her own favors, taking business away from myself! Oh! I'm that good! I could use the extra money, it's true but in the end I have to remind myself that in helping her figure out her favors I did her a huge favor, made a friend and managed to do something selfless! Humph! Soooo not the person I use to be! There was a time when "do it yourself" was accompanied by a middle finger and meant a totally different thing for me! Now it means, You can make this yourself and it will be awesome (accompanied with a high five)!

So do yourself a favor! Don't be afraid to try a DIY project! Empower yourself! I've said it before! Prove to yourself that you can tackle a project and come out triumphant! Or at least come out with hot glue burns on your fingers and forearms, maybe a paper cut or two! Tons of fun! One of the simplest favors a gal can make in my opinion is the classic tulle and candy! For my wedding I found Tulle Circles in the clearance section of Michaels for 50 cents a pack. Each pack holds 24 circles! I'm a bargain shopper! These are worth the price you would normally pay though because they are precut! I hate cutting things out! So this was an extra special buy for me! Ok. Got the tulle circles, now what do I put in them? Well, you've heard that saying "When life hands you lemons..."? Well, I like to finish it by saying ....."Celebrate something!". So, I am filling my tulle circles with lemon drops! A few years ago life handed me lemons! Boo hoo! Poor me! Whah! But in the process of me trying to convince myself that I wasn't a horrible person and that someone would come along and love me for the dysfunctional human being that I am, I found an amazing man who makes me laugh and loves me and most importantly has been wonderful to my teenage boys! He is my rock! So, the lemon drops have a little story behind them. But, you could put anything in there that you wanted! Skittles! Reece's Cups, Oreo Cookies! Do a little bit of this and that! Mix it up! Tie a piece of ribbon around it and you're done! You could even print out little thank you tags, cut them out and string them on with your ribbon! See, simple! You can do it! You're going to fall in love with favors and the next thing you know.....You're making them for no reason at all! I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.....let's make favors! My ex gained 25 lbs and is losing his hair! Let's make favors! FAVORS FAVORS FAVORS! Aaaaaaaghhhhhhh!!!

Emotional Me

I thought the first day of Kindergarten was difficult! My 16 year old got a job mowing lawns, weed eating etc. He has never touched a lawn mower a day in his life, let alone a weed eater. I don't know if he knows what honest work is. Not that he robs banks or anything. He is a master Gamer! That's what his job title is! So manual labor.....ohhh! boy! I'm skerd! I'm skerd for him and the person who is employing him. This employer happens to be my father-in-law! He's a no nonsense type of man. He pays you to work! He pays you to look presentable. Your pants had better be around your waist at all times and that goofy hat, well it looks better at home on a hook in your bedroom so get it off of your head! He's a great guy! But he has a certain work ethic that I don't think most kids are use to these days. Meaining, he expects you to work! My son needs this experience desperately! But, at the same time, the thought of him being old enough to work scares me. It reminds me that it won't be long and he won't be my little boy, hogging up the entire couch, playing games all day, messing up my kitchen and terrorizing his little sister! I'm going to miss that! Oh! My goodness! It makes me so emotional. My boys are becoming Men! I dropped the 16 yr old off yesterday for his first day and it felt like kindergarten all over. I was reminding him that if he doesn't know what to do he needs to ask questions etc. I wanted to walk him to the door but at some point I have to let go and let him be his own independant person, a responsible young man who can tackle his own problems and solve them without any help from Mom. It breaks my heart! How will I survive graduation and good lord! What about him finding a woman he wants to marry!? Eeek! Someone get me a sedative! Maybe a bottle of Boone's Farm and a styrofoam cup of ice! These are the battles I fight, letting go, hiding the used boxes of tissue!

After a long day of mowing and weed eating he was tired but, happy. I think the feeling of accomplishment was a good thing for him. He had a sense of pride. He almost glowed. Or maybe that was the sweat from working. He seemed so much older when I picked him up, carrying his cooler and can of diet coke. He's ready for another day. He's anxious to do more and improve his mowing skills! So, I am happy for him and proud. I guess letting go isn't so bad...for now!

Lead by example

I say it often. I try to practice it myself. But, I know it's not always easy being a Mom. But please, try to lead by example! I live in an area that is populated mostly by ignorant people. Sorry, it's the truth. There are days when I think a trip to the store will end with me strangling someone. Yesterday I had to run into Walmart really quick. It's close to my home and I know the store like the back of my hand! I know it's a gathering point for the mentally insane but it's convenient. Of course, I needed juice for the toddler. It's located at the back of the store! As I entered the store I immediately hear a girl yelling at a screaming child "You want me to slap you?". (Just once I want to hear a kid say "Yes! Absolutley, that's what I'm going for here! Please slap me!) Get me away from these screaming people! The poor kid looks like she hasn't been bathed in a week, her clothes don't fit her and she is far from matching, red white and blue shorts and a hot pink pajama top! She has milk or some unidentified food caked on her face. I immediately reach for my small pack of wipes, I want so badly to clean this child's face and hug her and buy her clean clothes and rescue her. But, it's not my business. And when the fiance said "No more pets" I think he meant that to include kids too! Just a wild guess! So, I keep moving. I find the juice, grab a few bottles and make my way back to the front of the store. Somewhere by the cereal aisle I hear "Hey! You gotta DOOKY!? You better not dooky in your pants!". Is that even a word? dooky? And it sounds so nasty! Dooky! ugh! The poor child is still screaming! And the teenage Mom is still acting a fool! And it really pisses me off.
I know it's hard to be a Mom. But it's as hard as you make it! Kids need a few basic things. Love and affection is important. They don't need a life filled with chaos and screaming. If you give them your time and some guidance they will love you forever. This teenage Mom just kept getting more and more obnoxious and I could still hear her as I was walking out the sliding doors. It's not like me to keep my mouth shut. But I did.
Walking out of that store, hearing her screaming at that poor kid was hard for me to do and it's been bothering me for days. It's a viscious cycle we live in. Kids are learning from the worst teachers in the world. Thier parents.... I'm not Mom of the year. But I know that if you want respect, you give respect. If you want your child to stop screaming you should try shutting your yap too! It's a simple theory I have. We lead by example. You can lead your child to the wrong path if you're not careful. And then the cycle starts all over. So, what do you do when you're faced with an obnoxious anti-Mom in Walmart? You can't save the world. You could possibly lose a few teeth trying. I've imagined myself without my two front teeth, it isn't pretty! But next time. I'm walking right up to that......customer service desk and complaining! Can you make a citizens arrest for something like that?

Making wishes

Well folks! The sister-cousin is married and by the time I stumble through this day her and her husband will be on a plane headed to Florida where they will hop a cruise ship destined for a place far more beautiful than the one they left behind. It wouldn't take much!........... Ok so this area we live in is far from ugly but it's not a tropical paradise!

The Wedding was beautiful! She wanted a beach wedding where she could be barefoot. The groom and his men wore khacky shorts and beachy white shirts. The Bridesmaids were knockouts in black! The bride was absolutely beautimous. As we set out down the boardwalk on our way to the beach you could hear the small waves crashing in the distance. As we got closer the sounds of the grooms sister playing guitar brought tears to my eyes. It was such a peaceful sound. You put it all together and I think it was the sound of love. It was just perfect. I wanted to look back at the bride to see if she felt it too. But, I was afraid I'd lose my footing in the sand and take a dive. Thank God that didn't happen! The ceremony was short and sweet. But the sister-cousin added a special moment to the nuptials that made it so sweet and personal.

Upon arrival each guest was given a stone, which we gathered from the beach a few days before, and they were told to hold on to the stone. Don't worry! They weren't going to throw them instead of rice or rose petals. Once the minister pronounced them husband and wife, he explained the significance of the stones. The group was asked to join the couple at the waters edge where they would make a wish on the stone for the happy couple. Then all at once we tossed them into the water. It was fun! I don't know how many people actually took the time to make a wish on their stone but I think at that moment everyone had a happy thought in their head. It felt like positive energy.

My wish for the newlyweds.......May you have a long peaceful life together void of family drama and freeloaders! But as I look on the beach I can't help but feel that in this family (God bless us every single one) that is easier said than done! So, I will say this instead.......I hope you make more happy moments than sad and more good memories than bad! I love you guys!

Lies Brides Tell : A public service announcement

I've learned a few things about DIY wedding planning and I wanted to share these lessons with you. I read wedding blogs. I love weddingbee.com. I like to look at the pictures and see what other brides are doing. A lot of the brides share their DIY projects with other brides and it's very helpful. But occasionally you will run across a bride who is so full of crap that you just have to bust her out! This bride is telling me I can easily make 100 welcome bags for my out of town guests for as little as $1 a piece? Liar! If you read the blogs you can smell what I'm stepping in!

So, this is where I feel like myth busters! The sister-cousin and I were recently discussing her upcoming nuptials. I call her the sister-cousin because well, she's like my sister but technically she's my cousin! Anyway, she is having a beach wedding, stress free. That's her theme! We got on the subject of the flowers! The non-existent flowers. She didn't go to a florist to get her flowers. She had all intentions of growing the flowers herself. This is the first lie I want to uncover because I think it's a mistake to rely solely on your growing skills to get the job done. But, here we are, a few days away from her wedding and there are no flowers blooming in her yard. There are no flowers blooming in my yard either! So, now we are going to improvise. When you're planning a wedding you should always be prepared to improvise! So, to the bride who said "I grew the flowers for my wedding bouquet and it was so easy!" I think you are a liar! You failed miserably! You bought your flowers from fiftyflowers.com and you know it!!

Lesson 2! A beach wedding is not a stress free wedding! Myth Busted! A beach wedding holds the same chances of disaster as any other wedding! Hello! Seagulls! Nude bathers! And don't get me started on all of the rules there are! No glass on the beach? NO fire? How on earth will we have a beach wedding without the fire breathing man who also juggles flaming batons? It's just unheard of! A beach wedding can be simple if your family owns the beach! But, it's still a wedding and a wedding of any theme requires a guest list and all of the other to-do's that make a wedding stressful!

Lie #3 and this is my favorite. It is easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission. Whoever said that has clearly never tried to take white peonies from the Burger King parking lot in broad daylight! oops! Try asking permission first! If that doesn't work then I suggest you go back after dark, fake a flat tire and load up on the flowers! Don't be greedy though. A greedy bride is an ugly bride!

Lie#4 and this is the last one I tackle today. It's cheaper to DIY your wedding. That's not always true! If you take on the task of making favors, for instance. And the task requires all of these fancy tools that you don't have......well, either you're borrowing said fancy tools or you're buying them. If you're buying them then that's an added expense! The DIY wedding invites that you wanted to make.......You know, the ones with the fancy embossing and the cool edging? Do you own the tools to make those invites? If you don't it's going to cost you! So, before you tackle that DIY project make a list of all of the tools you will need to get the job done and ask yourself if it's really worth it! When you read that blog about how great another brides DIY invites turned out and how special they were because she poured her heart and soul into them, ask her how much money she poured into making them before you get these ideas of grandeur! Just sayin!

Staff Meeting-Mandatory!

I don't know about you but, I'm so busy I don't know if it's Tuesday or April! I just have so much going on and it's all by choice! What I do to keep myself busy is what makes me happy. Sure I complain but that's just me being dramatic! Some things will never change! When the caveman evolved he kept most of his hair. When I evolved I kept my flair for the dramatic!

I'm a list maker. I make lists to keep track of my lists. I make so many lists that the toddler is making lists! No joke! This kid has her own slew of notebooks and post it pads and she's walking around the house making lists! Gotta Love her! But, lists are just not cutting it! I've got so much going on that I think I need to hold a staff meeting with myself. The Mom in me, the DIY Maven, The significant other, the bridesmaid and the bride all need to grab a notebook and get to the staff meeting! Seriously, we've got so much to go over I don't know how we will fit it all in!

First on the agenda! Someone needs to get in that bathroom and tackle that litter box. Miss Jane is not happy about the conditions of that thing this week! 2nd and I can't believe I'm saying this but the legs need a good shave. I'm talking above the knee, you're gonna want to get a fresh blade on that razor! The Sister-Cousins cupcake pix and Honeymoon sign will not be finishing themselves so if someone could please get on that before tomorrow that would be FANTASTIC! Where are we on addressing the wedding invites for our own wedding? Lovely! [Insert sarcasm] I don't think the Post Office is going to mail them out without a stamp on them. Chop Chop ladies! This is serious business! Have we tried to hug the boys today? We don't want them to think we have given up on them! One of these days they'll give in and let it happen. Teenagers need love too! I think that just about covers everything that can't be overlooked another day.....wait! I'm having a problem finding the living floor again. Can we get something done with that? Maybe a shovel and a dumpster! Great! Thanks Ladies! Don't forget to keep smiling!

Ha ha Moments

We've all had those moments in life where we hope nobody was looking. You've just done something that you just cannot believe you just did! Oprah talks about "Ah ha Moments". Well, how about Ha ha Moments?

I've had quite a few and if you're friends with me on facebook you know I don't mind sharing my stupidity with others! I figure if you can't laugh at yourself you're a sad individual. No offense! I just think it's better to have a sense of humor. Please allow me to recap some of my more infamous Ha ha moments for you. How about my very favorite moment that I like to call MOMNESIA! You know, when you're pregnant and you have one thing on your mind!......No! not that thing!! Perv!....I'm talking about Babies! Maybe it's just me but when I was pregnant I couldn't think about anything other than babies. Giving birth to babies, dressing babies and feeding babies. What will I name this baby? What will this baby look like? Etc. etc! These are the thoughts that fill my head when I'm pregnant! Everything else is just second nature. Well, almost everything!

Take for instance the everyday trip to Walmart. You go in, you fill your cart with a bunch of over priced crap that you need or don't need and then you add more crap that you don't need to it! It's our lot in life. Once you've conquered that you make your way to one of the 3 out of 25 registers open that day. You find yourself in line behind someone who wants to use 4 different debit or foodstamp cards to pay for the $40 of groceries in her cart! Really? How long will this take!? Let me grab a magazine! Well, there was one particular day when I was 5 months pregnant that I had to make an unnecessary run into Walmart. I needed more tums or something. Who knows! I filled my cart with a few things that I knew we might need in the long run, grabbed a couple of things that looked tastey, a baby magazine and some other pregnancy related items and made my way to the front. I dodged people who wanted to touch my belly and I gave dirty looks to the men who gawked at my pregnant belly. When I walked out into the parking lot I didn't see my Jeep. So I started walking a little further in. Still didn't see it. I walked a few rows over. No jeep. I'm starting to get upset. I'm turning red. I'm thirsty. I look into my cart for something to drink and realize that I didn't pay for my stuff! I SHIT YOU NOT! True Story! Of course, me being Me, I laugh! How on earth did I make it out that front door with a cart full of stuff? did I abandon my cart and haul pregnant butt home? No! I RAN to the other door....the door I didn't come out of, but the door I did park by!! I walked right past the 107 year old greeter and headed straight to a check out! Nobody said a word to me! I thought I would die!! I paid for my stuff and got out of there as quick as I could! And you can bet your sweet cheeks that I don't pass up the cash registers anymore! Ha ha!

Let's celebrate a well done celebration!

I don't think my family knows how to kill a celebration! They kill deer and other wild game but killing a celebration isn't on our list of things to massacre! It just isn't done! We know how to enjoy family even if half of them drive you batshit crazy! Last week I attended my Uncle's funeral. I tried to view it as a celebration of life instead of a funeral. That was a very hard thing to do. As my 14 year old will tell you, I am a cryer! I wear my heart on my sleeve! I pick up on the emotions around me and the tears start to flow! So, it was difficult to make it through this celebration of life without shedding a tear or two! But, my family didn't hold back the good memories or the laughter! We shared a good laugh and many comforting hugs. I saw family that I hadn't seen in years. I saw family that I might've offended the last time I saw them. It has happened! But like I said before I have changed. And I hate myself for being that person and I am sorry for anything I said that might've been out of line. Anyhoo, Let me say this. My Aunt and cousins did a fantastic job organizing this celebration of life and I know they didn't do it alone. There were so many extended family members who pulled together just like they've done in the past. My Uncle was truly blessed to have so many supporters.

Today, I will attend another celebration. A graduation celebration (that's fun to say!). And I know this celebration will be just as smashing as any other to-do that has been thrown in the name of fun! Graduation. Do you remember that day? High School graduation had to be a proud day for my Mom. I think she should've been the one wearing the cap and gown since she was the one who probably worked the hardest to get me through high school. I just didn't want to be there! And it became even more difficult to convince myself that going to school was the best way to spend my time! I'm sorry but I didn't have a lot of love for my fellow students who made it obvious that I was indeed below them on the food chain. But that's Ok! I'm happy now and they are fat! So I think it evens out in the long run. There are so many reasons to celebrate! Let's look past the obvious reasons to throw a party (birthdays, weddings, new births, and anniversaries). Get to work in the morning and celebrate the fact that you have a job! Or celebrate not having a cold sore! I know I'm thankful! Today I celebrate a smart young woman's accomplishments and tomorrow I will celebrate the fact that I have a clean laundry room! Don't wait for a special occasion to pop up on the calendar! Make a special occasion! Get together with family because you want to celebrate the fact that you have family, dysfunctional or otherwise! Don't wait for someones death like I did.

That's what I didn't say

(This was my speech. The speech that I planned on giving at my Uncle Mick's funeral) So, A man walks into a bar, orders a beer, chugs it and looks in his shirt pocket. He does this a few more times until the bartender asks him "Hey Man, why do you keep buying a beer, chugging it and looking in your shirt pocket?". The guy replies "Well, I've got a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm going to keep on drinking until she looks good enough for me to go home.

I think Mick was ready to go home and he would've wanted us to be OK with that. He wouldn't want us to sit around and cry over his death. He would absolutely want us to celebrate his life. He would want us to carry on. Mick had a positive impact on all of us in one way or another. He didn't believe in giving up and he would not tolerate the words "I can't". He encouraged us to keep pushing on. So that's what we have to do.

It's true. Mick was so many things to so many people. He was a loyal friend to anyone he met, a loving son, a forgiving father and for many of us kids he was more than just an uncle. He was a father to those of us who needed one. And I can't even tell you how Thankful I am to Chas for sharing her Dad with every single one of us. It probably wasn't the easiest thing for her to do but she did it and I love her for it!

Mick was a joker. He was the worst person to be around if you're trying to have a bad day! You could walk into his shop with a dilemma and walk out feeling inspired, with the mindset that anything is possible. He taught us so much. The knowledge I took from him is something that I hope to pass on to my own children. And I think that this says it all:

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, let go of what you can't change, Love deeply, forgive quickly. Take chances (but your helmet on first) and give your everything. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Take the good with the bad & the happy with the sad. Love what you have and remember what you had. Never ever take yourself too seriously and never ever ever keep a good joke to yourself.

Uncle Mick was the closest thing I have ever had to a father. He was everything a father should be. Loving and tolerant. Patient and wise. But most of all he was there. He might be gone from this earth but he will never be gone from our hearts. The best of him lives on in us. His sense of humor and sarcasm will live on through those of us who were lucky enough to be mentored by him! Thank you Uncle Mick for being the best teacher ever.