Lead by example

I say it often. I try to practice it myself. But, I know it's not always easy being a Mom. But please, try to lead by example! I live in an area that is populated mostly by ignorant people. Sorry, it's the truth. There are days when I think a trip to the store will end with me strangling someone. Yesterday I had to run into Walmart really quick. It's close to my home and I know the store like the back of my hand! I know it's a gathering point for the mentally insane but it's convenient. Of course, I needed juice for the toddler. It's located at the back of the store! As I entered the store I immediately hear a girl yelling at a screaming child "You want me to slap you?". (Just once I want to hear a kid say "Yes! Absolutley, that's what I'm going for here! Please slap me!) Get me away from these screaming people! The poor kid looks like she hasn't been bathed in a week, her clothes don't fit her and she is far from matching, red white and blue shorts and a hot pink pajama top! She has milk or some unidentified food caked on her face. I immediately reach for my small pack of wipes, I want so badly to clean this child's face and hug her and buy her clean clothes and rescue her. But, it's not my business. And when the fiance said "No more pets" I think he meant that to include kids too! Just a wild guess! So, I keep moving. I find the juice, grab a few bottles and make my way back to the front of the store. Somewhere by the cereal aisle I hear "Hey! You gotta DOOKY!? You better not dooky in your pants!". Is that even a word? dooky? And it sounds so nasty! Dooky! ugh! The poor child is still screaming! And the teenage Mom is still acting a fool! And it really pisses me off.
I know it's hard to be a Mom. But it's as hard as you make it! Kids need a few basic things. Love and affection is important. They don't need a life filled with chaos and screaming. If you give them your time and some guidance they will love you forever. This teenage Mom just kept getting more and more obnoxious and I could still hear her as I was walking out the sliding doors. It's not like me to keep my mouth shut. But I did.
Walking out of that store, hearing her screaming at that poor kid was hard for me to do and it's been bothering me for days. It's a viscious cycle we live in. Kids are learning from the worst teachers in the world. Thier parents.... I'm not Mom of the year. But I know that if you want respect, you give respect. If you want your child to stop screaming you should try shutting your yap too! It's a simple theory I have. We lead by example. You can lead your child to the wrong path if you're not careful. And then the cycle starts all over. So, what do you do when you're faced with an obnoxious anti-Mom in Walmart? You can't save the world. You could possibly lose a few teeth trying. I've imagined myself without my two front teeth, it isn't pretty! But next time. I'm walking right up to that......customer service desk and complaining! Can you make a citizens arrest for something like that?

Making wishes

Well folks! The sister-cousin is married and by the time I stumble through this day her and her husband will be on a plane headed to Florida where they will hop a cruise ship destined for a place far more beautiful than the one they left behind. It wouldn't take much!........... Ok so this area we live in is far from ugly but it's not a tropical paradise!

The Wedding was beautiful! She wanted a beach wedding where she could be barefoot. The groom and his men wore khacky shorts and beachy white shirts. The Bridesmaids were knockouts in black! The bride was absolutely beautimous. As we set out down the boardwalk on our way to the beach you could hear the small waves crashing in the distance. As we got closer the sounds of the grooms sister playing guitar brought tears to my eyes. It was such a peaceful sound. You put it all together and I think it was the sound of love. It was just perfect. I wanted to look back at the bride to see if she felt it too. But, I was afraid I'd lose my footing in the sand and take a dive. Thank God that didn't happen! The ceremony was short and sweet. But the sister-cousin added a special moment to the nuptials that made it so sweet and personal.

Upon arrival each guest was given a stone, which we gathered from the beach a few days before, and they were told to hold on to the stone. Don't worry! They weren't going to throw them instead of rice or rose petals. Once the minister pronounced them husband and wife, he explained the significance of the stones. The group was asked to join the couple at the waters edge where they would make a wish on the stone for the happy couple. Then all at once we tossed them into the water. It was fun! I don't know how many people actually took the time to make a wish on their stone but I think at that moment everyone had a happy thought in their head. It felt like positive energy.

My wish for the newlyweds.......May you have a long peaceful life together void of family drama and freeloaders! But as I look on the beach I can't help but feel that in this family (God bless us every single one) that is easier said than done! So, I will say this instead.......I hope you make more happy moments than sad and more good memories than bad! I love you guys!

Lies Brides Tell : A public service announcement

I've learned a few things about DIY wedding planning and I wanted to share these lessons with you. I read wedding blogs. I love weddingbee.com. I like to look at the pictures and see what other brides are doing. A lot of the brides share their DIY projects with other brides and it's very helpful. But occasionally you will run across a bride who is so full of crap that you just have to bust her out! This bride is telling me I can easily make 100 welcome bags for my out of town guests for as little as $1 a piece? Liar! If you read the blogs you can smell what I'm stepping in!

So, this is where I feel like myth busters! The sister-cousin and I were recently discussing her upcoming nuptials. I call her the sister-cousin because well, she's like my sister but technically she's my cousin! Anyway, she is having a beach wedding, stress free. That's her theme! We got on the subject of the flowers! The non-existent flowers. She didn't go to a florist to get her flowers. She had all intentions of growing the flowers herself. This is the first lie I want to uncover because I think it's a mistake to rely solely on your growing skills to get the job done. But, here we are, a few days away from her wedding and there are no flowers blooming in her yard. There are no flowers blooming in my yard either! So, now we are going to improvise. When you're planning a wedding you should always be prepared to improvise! So, to the bride who said "I grew the flowers for my wedding bouquet and it was so easy!" I think you are a liar! You failed miserably! You bought your flowers from fiftyflowers.com and you know it!!

Lesson 2! A beach wedding is not a stress free wedding! Myth Busted! A beach wedding holds the same chances of disaster as any other wedding! Hello! Seagulls! Nude bathers! And don't get me started on all of the rules there are! No glass on the beach? NO fire? How on earth will we have a beach wedding without the fire breathing man who also juggles flaming batons? It's just unheard of! A beach wedding can be simple if your family owns the beach! But, it's still a wedding and a wedding of any theme requires a guest list and all of the other to-do's that make a wedding stressful!

Lie #3 and this is my favorite. It is easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission. Whoever said that has clearly never tried to take white peonies from the Burger King parking lot in broad daylight! oops! Try asking permission first! If that doesn't work then I suggest you go back after dark, fake a flat tire and load up on the flowers! Don't be greedy though. A greedy bride is an ugly bride!

Lie#4 and this is the last one I tackle today. It's cheaper to DIY your wedding. That's not always true! If you take on the task of making favors, for instance. And the task requires all of these fancy tools that you don't have......well, either you're borrowing said fancy tools or you're buying them. If you're buying them then that's an added expense! The DIY wedding invites that you wanted to make.......You know, the ones with the fancy embossing and the cool edging? Do you own the tools to make those invites? If you don't it's going to cost you! So, before you tackle that DIY project make a list of all of the tools you will need to get the job done and ask yourself if it's really worth it! When you read that blog about how great another brides DIY invites turned out and how special they were because she poured her heart and soul into them, ask her how much money she poured into making them before you get these ideas of grandeur! Just sayin!

Staff Meeting-Mandatory!

I don't know about you but, I'm so busy I don't know if it's Tuesday or April! I just have so much going on and it's all by choice! What I do to keep myself busy is what makes me happy. Sure I complain but that's just me being dramatic! Some things will never change! When the caveman evolved he kept most of his hair. When I evolved I kept my flair for the dramatic!

I'm a list maker. I make lists to keep track of my lists. I make so many lists that the toddler is making lists! No joke! This kid has her own slew of notebooks and post it pads and she's walking around the house making lists! Gotta Love her! But, lists are just not cutting it! I've got so much going on that I think I need to hold a staff meeting with myself. The Mom in me, the DIY Maven, The significant other, the bridesmaid and the bride all need to grab a notebook and get to the staff meeting! Seriously, we've got so much to go over I don't know how we will fit it all in!

First on the agenda! Someone needs to get in that bathroom and tackle that litter box. Miss Jane is not happy about the conditions of that thing this week! 2nd and I can't believe I'm saying this but the legs need a good shave. I'm talking above the knee, you're gonna want to get a fresh blade on that razor! The Sister-Cousins cupcake pix and Honeymoon sign will not be finishing themselves so if someone could please get on that before tomorrow that would be FANTASTIC! Where are we on addressing the wedding invites for our own wedding? Lovely! [Insert sarcasm] I don't think the Post Office is going to mail them out without a stamp on them. Chop Chop ladies! This is serious business! Have we tried to hug the boys today? We don't want them to think we have given up on them! One of these days they'll give in and let it happen. Teenagers need love too! I think that just about covers everything that can't be overlooked another day.....wait! I'm having a problem finding the living floor again. Can we get something done with that? Maybe a shovel and a dumpster! Great! Thanks Ladies! Don't forget to keep smiling!

Ha ha Moments

We've all had those moments in life where we hope nobody was looking. You've just done something that you just cannot believe you just did! Oprah talks about "Ah ha Moments". Well, how about Ha ha Moments?

I've had quite a few and if you're friends with me on facebook you know I don't mind sharing my stupidity with others! I figure if you can't laugh at yourself you're a sad individual. No offense! I just think it's better to have a sense of humor. Please allow me to recap some of my more infamous Ha ha moments for you. How about my very favorite moment that I like to call MOMNESIA! You know, when you're pregnant and you have one thing on your mind!......No! not that thing!! Perv!....I'm talking about Babies! Maybe it's just me but when I was pregnant I couldn't think about anything other than babies. Giving birth to babies, dressing babies and feeding babies. What will I name this baby? What will this baby look like? Etc. etc! These are the thoughts that fill my head when I'm pregnant! Everything else is just second nature. Well, almost everything!

Take for instance the everyday trip to Walmart. You go in, you fill your cart with a bunch of over priced crap that you need or don't need and then you add more crap that you don't need to it! It's our lot in life. Once you've conquered that you make your way to one of the 3 out of 25 registers open that day. You find yourself in line behind someone who wants to use 4 different debit or foodstamp cards to pay for the $40 of groceries in her cart! Really? How long will this take!? Let me grab a magazine! Well, there was one particular day when I was 5 months pregnant that I had to make an unnecessary run into Walmart. I needed more tums or something. Who knows! I filled my cart with a few things that I knew we might need in the long run, grabbed a couple of things that looked tastey, a baby magazine and some other pregnancy related items and made my way to the front. I dodged people who wanted to touch my belly and I gave dirty looks to the men who gawked at my pregnant belly. When I walked out into the parking lot I didn't see my Jeep. So I started walking a little further in. Still didn't see it. I walked a few rows over. No jeep. I'm starting to get upset. I'm turning red. I'm thirsty. I look into my cart for something to drink and realize that I didn't pay for my stuff! I SHIT YOU NOT! True Story! Of course, me being Me, I laugh! How on earth did I make it out that front door with a cart full of stuff? did I abandon my cart and haul pregnant butt home? No! I RAN to the other door....the door I didn't come out of, but the door I did park by!! I walked right past the 107 year old greeter and headed straight to a check out! Nobody said a word to me! I thought I would die!! I paid for my stuff and got out of there as quick as I could! And you can bet your sweet cheeks that I don't pass up the cash registers anymore! Ha ha!

Let's celebrate a well done celebration!

I don't think my family knows how to kill a celebration! They kill deer and other wild game but killing a celebration isn't on our list of things to massacre! It just isn't done! We know how to enjoy family even if half of them drive you batshit crazy! Last week I attended my Uncle's funeral. I tried to view it as a celebration of life instead of a funeral. That was a very hard thing to do. As my 14 year old will tell you, I am a cryer! I wear my heart on my sleeve! I pick up on the emotions around me and the tears start to flow! So, it was difficult to make it through this celebration of life without shedding a tear or two! But, my family didn't hold back the good memories or the laughter! We shared a good laugh and many comforting hugs. I saw family that I hadn't seen in years. I saw family that I might've offended the last time I saw them. It has happened! But like I said before I have changed. And I hate myself for being that person and I am sorry for anything I said that might've been out of line. Anyhoo, Let me say this. My Aunt and cousins did a fantastic job organizing this celebration of life and I know they didn't do it alone. There were so many extended family members who pulled together just like they've done in the past. My Uncle was truly blessed to have so many supporters.

Today, I will attend another celebration. A graduation celebration (that's fun to say!). And I know this celebration will be just as smashing as any other to-do that has been thrown in the name of fun! Graduation. Do you remember that day? High School graduation had to be a proud day for my Mom. I think she should've been the one wearing the cap and gown since she was the one who probably worked the hardest to get me through high school. I just didn't want to be there! And it became even more difficult to convince myself that going to school was the best way to spend my time! I'm sorry but I didn't have a lot of love for my fellow students who made it obvious that I was indeed below them on the food chain. But that's Ok! I'm happy now and they are fat! So I think it evens out in the long run. There are so many reasons to celebrate! Let's look past the obvious reasons to throw a party (birthdays, weddings, new births, and anniversaries). Get to work in the morning and celebrate the fact that you have a job! Or celebrate not having a cold sore! I know I'm thankful! Today I celebrate a smart young woman's accomplishments and tomorrow I will celebrate the fact that I have a clean laundry room! Don't wait for a special occasion to pop up on the calendar! Make a special occasion! Get together with family because you want to celebrate the fact that you have family, dysfunctional or otherwise! Don't wait for someones death like I did.

That's what I didn't say

(This was my speech. The speech that I planned on giving at my Uncle Mick's funeral) So, A man walks into a bar, orders a beer, chugs it and looks in his shirt pocket. He does this a few more times until the bartender asks him "Hey Man, why do you keep buying a beer, chugging it and looking in your shirt pocket?". The guy replies "Well, I've got a picture of my wife in my pocket and I'm going to keep on drinking until she looks good enough for me to go home.

I think Mick was ready to go home and he would've wanted us to be OK with that. He wouldn't want us to sit around and cry over his death. He would absolutely want us to celebrate his life. He would want us to carry on. Mick had a positive impact on all of us in one way or another. He didn't believe in giving up and he would not tolerate the words "I can't". He encouraged us to keep pushing on. So that's what we have to do.

It's true. Mick was so many things to so many people. He was a loyal friend to anyone he met, a loving son, a forgiving father and for many of us kids he was more than just an uncle. He was a father to those of us who needed one. And I can't even tell you how Thankful I am to Chas for sharing her Dad with every single one of us. It probably wasn't the easiest thing for her to do but she did it and I love her for it!

Mick was a joker. He was the worst person to be around if you're trying to have a bad day! You could walk into his shop with a dilemma and walk out feeling inspired, with the mindset that anything is possible. He taught us so much. The knowledge I took from him is something that I hope to pass on to my own children. And I think that this says it all:

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, let go of what you can't change, Love deeply, forgive quickly. Take chances (but your helmet on first) and give your everything. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Take the good with the bad & the happy with the sad. Love what you have and remember what you had. Never ever take yourself too seriously and never ever ever keep a good joke to yourself.

Uncle Mick was the closest thing I have ever had to a father. He was everything a father should be. Loving and tolerant. Patient and wise. But most of all he was there. He might be gone from this earth but he will never be gone from our hearts. The best of him lives on in us. His sense of humor and sarcasm will live on through those of us who were lucky enough to be mentored by him! Thank you Uncle Mick for being the best teacher ever.