And now you're wondering why I bring this up. You know my bf, I affectionately refer to her as stripper. I love her to pieces and you know that. I also love her husband, in a brother in law sort if way where we both pick at one another and question each others intelligence. I do love Big Frank but today I wish he lived closer because I want to..... Well I would not dream of hurting the man. I should mention that he is a good 6 ft 4 with about twice my weight and pure muscle. We call him Mr. Clean because of his bald head and hoop earring.
Anyway, Mr. Clean doesn't understand why I have a blog and told me this morning that it was a waste of time.
Ok. I guess it hits home. It makes me question my wants. And that makes me angry with myself because it's one step forward but 3 steps back! There's that self esteem issue again, the feeling that I have to justify why I do something I love and why I love it and then feeling like I have no business writing.
This isn't about me being angry with Mr. Clean. It's about me being mad at myself. Ugh! I really hate this feeling!
I'm working on writing two books. Why? Because I want to. Do I need any other reason? No. I'm not doing it to make money. No. I have other motives. And besides the other motives, it fills some sort of need that is burning inside of me. There's a story inside of me that needs to be formed and shared. So that is what I will do.
And in the meantime, I swear I will post more here. I'm having a hard time juggling my time. This book writing business is like a newborn baby, it calls for me in the middle of the night, while I'm grocery shopping or doing dishes. It is my crack! But it isn't hurting anyone so I'm going to stop feeling like pursuing my dream of becoming a published author is ridiculous!
Whatever your dream is..... Don't ever let someone make you feel stupid for dreaming it! Let them think it's stupid! But don't let their opinion over shadow yours! Promise yourself!
No comments:
Post a Comment